I’ve been meaning to write, but I have been neglecting a lot of things lately. Work is so hard; I think I took on way too much, and now that everyone’s expectations are so high, it seems that I am disappointing them with my lack of outcomes. I’ve been thinking about leaving for a long time now, but then last night, I attended the staff Xmas party at The Priory, and I feel a bit rejuvenated by the fact that I really do work for a great company (if only on the surface, at any rate).
The party was eventful, to say the least. I spent a lot of time with my guest, and I spent precious little time with my boys, Brat and CTL. I guess I should qualify that I have been dating Jeff for two weeks now, and this was his formal debut into my life.
Jeff and I met at a party hosted by a friend of a friend of Judy’s on Dec. 8, and she and Chris had invited me to crash the party with them. Crashing parties is absolutely my idea of fun, and I was a willing cohort.
I was there when Jeff arrived. I noticed him right away, and he noticed me. I kept catching him looking at me, but I didn’t approach him. He spoke to everyone but me – I knew, though, that he would approach when he was ready. In the meantime, I was having fun hanging out with his friend Tom (who was just as sweet and as adorable as can be — and I wonder why I didn’t end up with him).
As predicted, Jeff saved the best for last, and he caught up with me when no one else was around me. We really started talking, though, in Tammy’s kitchen. Chris was on his usual mission to ensure that I was trashed – he was making drinks and shots for me. Jeff was in there with us, and well, Chris and Judy knew I had my eye on him. So we started talking and goofing around, even more so when Chris gracefully excused himself. After awhile, Jeff also left the room, kissing me on the forehead as he left.
I saw him again outside in front of the portable fireplace. I remember the smell of the burning logs and the crispness of the newly chilled December air (after weeks and weeks of a heat wave). Right by the fire, Jeff grabbed me and kissed me, and I liked it. We ended up hiding in a corner of Tammy’s yard, leaning against her white picket fence, kissing and doing whatever else came naturally. 🙂
We exchanged numbers and then he left. When I caught a glimpse of myself in Tammy’s bathroom mirror, I looked like I’d been in a car wash with the sunroof open — I was a wreck. But I had a grin on my face that seemed to be permanently etched there.
Jeff called the next day, much to my surprise and delight. We set up a date, and he took me out. Honestly, I was less than impressed with the outing (i.e., he bought a sandwich for us to share, and asked me to buy a six-pack of beer to take to my place). Argh!!! I was so tense that I needed that damn beer, and I vowed to myself that this was going to be the last time I ever saw him.
Once we were at my house, drinking and watching TV, well, let’s face it — we were both insanely horny and basically raped each other. While I did not forget that the date was unremarkable, I definitely took note of the fact that we clicked sexually. Right away, I realized that the best way for me to deal with him was to either feed him or fuck him — as long as he had something in his mouth (preferably me), he was all right by me.
The sex is awesome. Hell, I’ve been leaving work early (as if you could consider leaving work at 7 p.m. early) so I can go home, scrub my butt and be ready for him to come over. I am such a ‘ho, but damn it, I am entitled, especially given my recent past, to have a good time for a change.
So, for the Two Strikes holiday fiesta, well, I was debating about whether to invite him. I mean, I figured it might be best to go solo, because of my position, as I knew everyone would be judging me and monitoring my every move. But then I decided to bring him along — he’s a part of my life right now, and well, I hadn’t really told Brat and CTL about him, and maybe this was chickenshit of me, but it was kind of my way to show them — at least Brat, anyway — that I can move on … that I’m not just his discards … that other men find me desirable and want me in their lives.
Argh.
At any rate, the Two Strikes party was a lot of fun for me. I loved having someone there at my side, holding my hand and kissing me in the darkened room. It also kept me from being forced to socialize with HRP’s various relatives — I had someone upon whom to focus the bulk of my attention.
Dealing with Brat and CTL was an experience in discomfort, but Jeff seemed oblivious. I introduced everyone to each other, and I know all the boys ended up outside together at the same time on a smoke break, but other than that, we never crossed paths. Somehow, I felt the boys were avoiding me. Maybe I was being hypersensitive — or maybe they were graciously staying out of our way so that Jeff wouldn’t get any idea of what was really going on with all of us. All I know is that there was to be an after-party somewhere, but the boys left without even saying goodbye to me, let alone telling me the details of where to meet up with them afterward, as I had expected. Oh well. Jeff took me to the North Hills, where we barhopped and eventually met up with some friends of his. I could tell that his friends loved me (I’d met them at Tammy’s). We looked so damn good, all dressed up for the holidays, amid the local yokels. Some joking ensued, that he had to pull it together and work a little harder to impress me. lol. If they only knew …
Of course, we went to my place late that night and had a mindblowing fuckfest.
I know that we will never end up together, and I don’t even want it. I am committed to enjoying the bounty of orgasms that he brings to my world. And with all the tension that my job gives me, I get to work out that aggression nearly every night in bed with him. Aaaah. What a perfect arrangement!!!