Satiety.
To compensate for all the lying, conniving, cheap, pathetic and/or otherwise useless fuck-ups of my past, I truly believe that I have finally met the one who is not going to hurt me.
Went out with RK last evening. It was the best first date, if not best “date” date, I’ve ever had. From the moment I opened the door last night, I knew that I was going to have a wonderful night. He took me to Ballston, where we dined at Rock Bottom and then we went upstairs to Comedy Sportz, where he bought us tickets for both of the evening’s shows. Then we came back here and well, you know. (*wink, wink*)
Just called him … seemed glad to hear from me. I like how he talks in terms of us actually being together. For example, he invited me to a party a few weeks from now, and he’s talking about a short trip he’s planning in October, just for me to think about, because if all works out well with us, he wants me to go. Strangely, I have a funny feeling that not only will I be around for that trip in October, but I will be around for a lot longer than that. I swear, call me crazy (and who hasn’t?), but I am going to marry him someday. I just know it. I knew it before we met, and after yesterday, I feel all the more that he, in fact, is my destiny.
It’s unnerving, this feeling of certainty. That’s really all I have to say. Goodness, I am ready to marry this guy! What is WRONG with me … that the eternally swinging single is ready to give up the torture of the dating world to be with just one person??? Cripes, I have now six people who have responded to my ad, and The Artist Guy keeps calling/emailing. If I hadn’t met RK, I would be with The Artist Guy. But now, I don’t even have the inclination to date a few people casually. If RK wants to give this a shot, I think I would welcome it with open arms. Gaaaaaahhhh. What the hell was in that beer last night, to make me think this way?
A few things I can say to try to rationalize this enamored feeling I’m having. First, when we spoke a few days ago, he had asked what Lab Rat and I were doing on Friday, because he wanted to invite both of us out to meet him and his friends. Awwww. I mean, come on … the invitation was for both of us, which was incredibly sweet, and more importantly, he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable, coming into a situation where everybody knew each other and I didn’t know a soul. And then, when his plans were canceled, he immediately let me know that he didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to meet me. The great thing, though, was that he PLANNED the entire evening. All I had known about it was that I had to be prepared to stay out until 1 a.m. I never asked any questions — I figured for once, I could sit back and not run the show (as I have often been forced to do). And that was the plan: dinner and two comedy shows. The best part of it all, though, was that he sat with his arm around me for the entire duration of both shows. I loved it — not just feeling secure, but feeling wanted. Everyone at Comedy Sportz knew him, it seemed, and he seemed glad to have me there with him.
Lab Rat enjoyed him because when they met, he introduced himself to her and shook her hand. She said he seemed the tiniest bit self-conscious, which she thought was adorable. She told me I can definitely bring him into the apartment and fuck him whenever and wherever I please (as long as I know she won’t be coming home!) … the rule of “don’t fuck sleaze in our apartment,” she says, doesn’t apply with him, so I am free to have him over anytime, i.e., I don’t have to have sex with him in the car. 😉 Thanks, LR!!!
Gawd, he pays for everything, holds my hand, holds doors for me, insists to walk on the curb side of sidewalks, etc. Never quite met anybody like that … I’d thought that species of homo sapien was renamed homo sexual. 😉 A straight man who knows how to treat a lady … well, who knew?
Guys, wish me luck! Here’s to hoping I don’t screw this one up, because I think I’d really regret it if I did.