Caterwauling

Dick.

Dick, dick, dick. I left the parking lot at 1:15 p.m., after nitwit decided not to be there at our agreed 1 p.m. time. He’s more worthless than I originally anticipated. Was I surprised? Oh, hell no. But I did waste a pair of scandalous underwear, at any rate.

420 Boy drove by around 1:02 p.m. — honked and pulled in next to me. We chatted for a few seconds, and he invited me to his house if dipshit didn’t show. Well, as 420 Boy was leaving, a black Volvo (Golf edition) pulled in very slowly, pulled in about five spots away from me, and backed out. I was fiddling with crap in the armrest, so it didn’t look like I was desperate or anything (which, obviously, I am, as I was being stood up right at that very minute). When I looked up, the car was already in reverse and crawling away from the desolate parking lot (as the restaurant didn’t open till 4 p.m. anyway).

I left an irate message for him at work (why would he even GIVE me that #? Now I know where to find him, not that I have any intentions on doing so) that the restaurant was closed and that had better not have been him, coming and then changing his mind before we even spoke to each other. I said, “Talk to you soon … MAYBE!” I figure, if it weren’t him, and he ended up in a cast or something, I didn’t want to sound like too much of an asshole. But I figure it was … a dorky guy with glasses … who else could it be?

He made himself out to be such a catch. Yeah, people catch brown trout, too. Let’s throw this one back. Ewww. Bastard.

So I spoke with The Artist Guy yesterday on the phone. I just want to have sex with his voice. LOL. YKW’s is still way sexier, but this one has a touch of a New York accent, so I was happily creaming in my jeans. He invited me to come to his studio, whenever I want, so I can meet him and his dog and cat and see his paintings. Mmmm. Said he’s a skinny white boy with tattoos. Didn’t ask what I looked like — BONUS!!! JS had asked right down to the dress size, which had irked me. I didn’t tell him outright (because, girls, we all know that we fluctuate sizes every damn day of the month), so he took a guess (about two sizes too small) and I said, “Something like that.” Then he mentioned my own size (remember, just two sizes bigger than he said), and he said he feels sorry for people who are “that big” because “they can’t even get around.” LOL. Dumbfuck. At any rate, I have The Artist Guy, Indie/Greek Guy, and Eager Guy, all waiting for me to make the next move, so I have three balls in my court. 🙂

My self-esteem was briefly deflated after today’s episode, but I did go to 420 Boy’s house for a two-hour lunch and he refused to let me feel bad, so I am doing just fine (thanks 420!!!).

Like the song I was listening to as I drove back to work, “Sooner or later, it’s over your shoulder.” (7 Mary 3, “Over Your Shoulder”)

Dementia.

So I agreed to go out to lunch with JS today. Am I nutz?

Guilt.

Well, I normally wouldn’t consider it guilt, but some residual pangs of something keep tugging at my heart, and one would think that my heart should feel GOOD, considering that I haven’t had a cigarette in a whole week!!! Gaaaahhhh!!

Last night was supposed to be the reunion with Pinhead, Frumper and Tuna. Spoke with Mom yesterday … I think she totally forgot about it, and I decided to not remind her. Really, of the three, only Pinhead even mattered to me, and gawd, if he found out that I am now working with 420 Boy, he would just have had a gay coronary and dropped dead anyway. But now I am left to wonder if the idiots did meet, if they forgot, or if they, too, deliberately stayed home because they really didn’t want to see one, two or even all three of their supposed old friends. It’s not like any of us have a way of getting in touch with each other otherwise. I was almost wishing to find an email addy for Pinhead, but I gave up trying to search for that years ago, and today is not the day for me to try it again.

“Well I can still remember

When I was just a kid

When friends were friends forever

And what you said, was what you did.”

— Bon Jovi, “Blood on Blood” —

Awoke with that song in my head. It tells a great story about childhood friendships … it would be appropriate except for the fact that they all went in different directions but, “If I got that call in the dead of the night/I’d be right by your side.” That certainly isn’t the case, although if Pinhead needed me, at least I would have to CONSIDER it before I told him to go to hell!!! 😉

Dreamed about Pinhead, actually. Dreamed it was my last day of work at Two Strikes, and I was having Federal Grant Clinic at Lori’s, like we used to do. However, she had invited a bunch of people over to help us, and he was one of them. In the dream, he kept watching me but would almost scoff at me anytime I spoke. At first, I didn’t speak much because I didn’t want to see those eyes rolling or that sarcastic smirk, like he was waiting for me to insert a foot in my mouth. But finally, I decided that if he wants to be around me, he has to put up with everything that makes me, well, me. And if he didn’t want to be around me, he was free to leave. Yet he didn’t leave.

I won’t be doing dream interpretation on this one. Nothing to interpret, nothing to look for in real life. But I do wonder if he, out of his sentimental nature as well as his nagging curiosity, drove past the meeting place. Maybe he even stopped in and grabbed a pint of ice cream, just for giggles. Why do I think he would have done that? Because that is what I would have done, and we were more alike than either one of us cared to admit.

An appropriate quote, by Sylvia Robinson: “Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.”

And in some cases, not only is it letting go that makes you strong, but also not stepping into a bad situation when you can see it coming a mile away.

So … talked with this guy today who shares not only the first name but also of the birthday of JP, famous for our ill-fated relationship of this past winter. Good lord, if those two things weren’t a sign right there to head for the hills, no questions asked, I spent two and a half hours talking (read: disagreeing) with him about relationships and about myself. I found that I pretty much had to defend all of my hobbies, likes/dislikes, dating history and relationship aspirations. I won’t even go into the round-and-round about womens’ dress sizes (!), but let’s just say that it was an okay conversation only for the fact that he riled my combative nature, although I remained exceptionally pleasant throughout the call.

The last half hour of the call was torturous, however, because he wanted to get together tonight and I wanted to have a real “date” all set up for next Saturday. He was pissed and when I suggested Saturday (or any other night than tonight), he said he might not be in the mood and he doesn’t know what he’ll be doing or where he’ll be, because that’s a long time from now. I said it sounded to me like he was waiting for a better offer. He said he wasn’t but he guessed that I might be waiting for a better offer (which, at the time I wasn’t, but now I’m not so sure!). I didn’t understand why he tried to turn the tables on me, so I said fine, if he wants to get together, please pick another day than today. He whined that the men are always the ones to put themselves on the line, and he already did put himself out there and that I immediately shot him down, so he didn’t want to risk it again. I promised that I had full intentions on accepting his next suggestion … it’s just that I wasn’t into a date today.

He was really shitty about that, asking why exactly I didn’t want to hook up. (Other than the fact that he was annoying the wits out of me on the phone and that I would probably have not survived an additional two hours of a date. …) I said, not that I had to explain, that my cold is still bothering me, and that dates are something for which I plan … I want to have the right outfit, the right state of mind, and the preceding anticipation. He said that’s a crock and that I’m obviously not spontaneous (anyone who knows me will disagree with that, and I told him as much). He said he doesn’t like to plan in advance and that he really wanted to meet me and he wanted to do it right away. I said that half the fun of a date is waiting for it, and that I am worth the wait. I said that it’s something to tuck into the back of your mind as you are working and waiting for the weekend … knowing that you will be having a nice night on the town with someone of the opposite sex is a treat, something that keeps you going during the week. He essentially said I was nuts.

Let me go back to how this began. I have a profile, personal ad and webpage on AOL. He read my profile and emailed me a simple message. In the subject line, it read, “Your hobbies suck.” In the message body, it said, “Just wanted you to know.”

I was annoyed, and at first I didn’t answer. Then a day later, I responded, with the subject line reading, “Re: Your Hobbies Suck,” I wrote in the body, “And so do I.”

He responded by sending two emails, containing his phone number, photo, and a line that he stays up late and wanted me to call. I didn’t call, but I did email this morning that he can reach me on my cell phone if he’s so motivated to catch up with me. He called by noon.

At any rate, in summary, we continued to argue about meeting and that he’s feeling shot down and that I’m feeling like I can’t even suggest anything without getting an attitude problem from him and that it’s a shame because we’re both new to Alexandria and instead of making a date to do something that will take us somewhere, anywhere in this city, we can’t get past the semantics. I told him to get back to unpacking and that I might call him toward the end of the week to see if he’s gotten a better offer or if he’s in a better mood or maybe I’ll even call and tell him to be ready in 10 minutes because I’m going to be in his neighborhood.

Then we hung up. After that call was disconnected, I decided that I would call back. Eventually. Probably. And if something better DID come along, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

He has since called three times, leaving two messages, one at home and one on the cell, to apologize and to try to set up a lunch date this week. Called Mom, who was crocked, who said to forget him and to answer the second guy (of now four) who responded to my personal ad … her psychic vibes say he’s a good one to pursue, and I never told her thing one about any of these guys except for today’s star, JS. Lab Rat told me that I can go out with JS, as long as I don’t fuck him in the apartment because I’m not allowed to bring such sleaze into our humble abode.

See, I just want to fuck him because, like his predecessor JP, he just needs something in his mouth to shut him the hell up. With JP, I always used to joke that I always had to either “feed him or fuck him,” in order to deal with him. And why put food in his mouth when I can put my crotch there instead?!?! And frankly, JP was SUCH a good lay for the mere fact that he couldn’t TALK so he had to ACT!!!! When his mouth was full … he was happy and well, so was I!

I know, TMI. 😉 But it’s the truth! I’ll let you know if I bother calling this yo-yo again.

In other news, went shopping at Safeway and World Market with Lab Rat. Had a lot of fun out at Kingstowne Center (where these fabulous places are located) yesterday, hitting all the stores and essentially window-shopping because I’m POOR!!! Shopping is much more fun with a friend. Both of us agree that we could just get lost in World Market … It’s kinda like Pier One meets a crack dealer on Smallman Street in Pittsburgh. 🙂

At least I am getting out of the house. Finally. Am slowly but certainly regaining the independence that brought me here. wOOt!!!

Learning.

I had the strangest urge today to just make love. It’s something I’ve done, oh, maybe once or twice, at the most. Typically, it’s anything BUT that … just hair-grabbing, nipple-biting, crotch-thrusting, back-scratching, body-heaving pleasure that means absolutely NOTHING the morning after. Sound familiar, boys and girls?

Wondered what it would feel like, to be with someone who cares and someone about whom I care, at the same time, in the same bed (or car, club, mountaintop, beach, pleasure swing, countertop, whatever!). I don’t want someone to tell me what it feels like … I want to experience it for myself. I want to kiss someone for hours and not wonder when they’re going to want something more. (let’s face it, I’m a hoe, and I’d more than gladly initiate more … I just hate it when it’s expected, especially when I’m looking to actually behave and protect myself.)

Got to thinking about Brat … F/OM said he talked with him yesterday. Felt kind of sad, seeing that of all people, F/OM has contact with him and I don’t. Wondered if F/OM mentions to Brat that we still email, the way he mentions to me that they still chat. Said Brat is happy. I’m glad to hear that … I just wish I could hear it directly from him.

Not a peep from CTL. Emailed him yesterday because Charolette said that the big MIS 90-day plan meeting was happening. Wonder what that’s all about … have both of my boys given up on me?

A part of me longs for YKW to pick up the phone to call me simply to say hello. That’s not a pipe dream, is it? We don’t have to be best friends; we don’t have to talk every day, the way we used to. It would be nice to know that he still cares (or that he ever cared, in the first place). Does he care? Can he? Will he ever let me know it?

I remember how kissing him was so easy, so free, so fun. Rarely do I meet a man who has any concept of how to kiss a woman. But he knew. It’s no classified governmental secret, believe me. There’s just a way, and he had it down pat. Additionally, there was just a feeling I would get when he would hold me … an electrical charge, if you will, like some mysterious force was holding us together. It worked between us, at least, in my opinion it did. “We” felt so natural, again, in my opinion. I haven’t had that natural feeling with anyone since (or for that matter, before) him.

I recognized it at the time, what it felt like to be with the person about whom you’d always dreamed. So many people don’t ever achieve that moment of excitement and peace all in one, of finally “getting” the person who invaded their very being from afar, previously. Most of us don’t know to appreciate those moments, but I did. I savored every last breath, as if I somehow knew that it was too good to be true, too precious to last, too fragile to preserve. I breathed him in deeply, only now I can’t expel the spirit that I absorbed.

I wonder if it was that way with SE when we finally hooked up. Did he think it was the be-all and end-all, the way it was for me with YKW? Was I that person about whom he had fantasized forever; was it all he wanted it to be? As far as I was concerned, it’s hard to live up to an image that someone has built of me … in the back of my mind, there was a lot of pressure that I wasn’t equipped to deal with. I was uneasy with the pedestal upon which I was placed … I knew I didn’t really deserve to be there. Did YKW feel that way when HE was the one who could do no wrong in my eyes? Did it scare him, to be desired in such a way? It sure as hell scared me, when it was my turn to see the world from that pedestal. Nobody had ever placed me quite so high. I liked it, don’t get me wrong, but in SE’s case, I certainly didn’t earn that standing. But maybe, when I say it that way, neither did YKW.

At any rate, those were the thoughts that consumed me today.

As an aside, heard from a voice from my past this week … says he’s on work release re: a missed child support payment. There are days that I hate myself for last June’s debacle, and then there are other days like today that I am glad that I brought an end to our own situation. But at least he was honest with me about an inability to assist, as well as a lack of interest in doing so, from the beginning. But still, the memories of the physical pain and emotional numbness I felt surfaced today, only inversely — the body is better but the heart will never be the same. I do wish him well during this time, though, but it just goes to show that all the difficult things we must do in life, we must do them alone.

Oh well. Not my problem anymore. Never was, I guess.

Men. Can’t live with ’em, can’t beat the shit out of them, and can’t find a good one when I need one. Can’t find a good one when I DON’T need one. 🙂 Sigh. Another evening of plastic pleasure awaits, I s’pose. ;P

“Laughing till it pisses everybody off

Pulling up my dress at a dinner meeting

Kissing till my lips are ready to fall off

Screamin’ all night then just say I’m singing

Yeah these are some of my favorite things

Gold butterflies & gum on a string

Yeah these are some of my favorite things

but doin’ nothin’ is my favorite one

Cashing in on the glory of my biggest mistakes

Fading in the grass basking in the sunlight

Go & say to mama I’ll just drive 98

Hold her in my arms tell her I’ll be all right

Breathe in faith & hope and a big fat cigarette

Drowning in the wine having no regrets

Yeah these are some of my favorite things

Don’t ask me why

Gold butterflies & gum on a string

Get me high

Yeah these are some of my favorite things

But doin’ nothin’ is my favorite one

It’s not the life I thought it would be

But I’ll be all right

I know I will be

So long to circumstance

Cashing in on the glory

Of my biggest mistakes

I’m fading now at last

Basking in sweet sunlight

Yeah these are some of my favorite things

Don’t ask me why

Gold butterflies & gum on a string

Get me high

Yeah these are some of my favorite things

But loving you … is my very favorite one.”

— Beth Hart, “Favorite Things” —

My ass hurts.

Honestly, that’s about the only complaint I have today. 420 Boy has always asked me what I’d put in the blog after I left Two Strikes. For a few entries, I wrote about all the bullshit that no longer affected me but entertained me nonetheless. I have no bitching about the new job (yet, but give me time!). I kinda like it. It’s weird, not making high-level decisions that affect the entire company, but the lack of pressure in that area is kinda cool, too, because the most important decision I make in a day is whether to walk past the receptionist to go to the ladies room or whether to take the long way around, via the fax machine/copy area, just for a change of scenery. And the best part is knowing that there is no one to yell at me, if I take the route that they themselves would NOT have taken!

Got email from Mini-Me today. Was thrilled to hear from me. That’s nice to know. But will she ever dare tell HRP that we still correspond?

Having Charolette in town was fun and a welcome treat. Wish she could’ve stayed longer! We had dinner with Lab Rat and 420 Boy last night in Old Town … good times. 🙂 420 Boy is the only person who never had the pleasure of serving time at Two Strikes, but thanks to the Land of Blog, he was up-to-date on the ranting!

420 Boy and I had a LONG lunch break at Wal-Mart and Panera Bread. (mmm … soup in a breadbowl. …) I don’t think anybody even noticed that we were gone half the afternoon! 😉

Got a bizarre email from the Washington Post announcing that Janet Reno is holding a dance party to raise funds for her gubernatorial campaign. The first line of the blurb was that Janet’s “gettin’ jiggy with it” — that’s just fucking scary!!!

God, this is a boring entry. Perhaps I should discontinue blogging until further drama enters my life? LOL

Oh, one last note … Charolette says that SE said he forgot my phone number when he was in D.C. last weekend. Yeah, a likely story. Uh, hello, I’m listed in Directory Assistance, and secondly, well, I highly DOUBT that my number wasn’t handy. But at any rate, who am I to judge?

Okay, now THIS is finally the last note … no word from DC Boy STILL. MoFo!!! But really, we met in a GAY bar when we were both HIGH on X, and while I might have enjoyed our date (where we were NOT in a bar and NOT on an illegal substance), he probably did NOT like it. Maybe he’s more of a crackhead than we all know … because I certainly declared that while I don’t condemn others using recreational substances, it’s just not my cup of tea (pass me a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights and a vat of Starbucks’ Java Chip ice cream any day, however!) … and he looked perceptibly perturbed at my statement. Oh WELL! I have THREE … count them, three … responses to my personal ad! Woo hoo!!!! Let’s just hope they don’t run SCREAMING when they see me (or a photo of me, like the one asshole who said I looked OLDER than 28 when in fact I was 26 in the photo! Moron!!!).

At any rate, I see blogger isn’t publishing, so I’ll just post. And frankly, I’m pissed at them because I edited my template last night and the system lost ALL of my changes, as well as the last round of changes I made a few weeks ago. Unreal!!!

Oh well. Back to work!!!

Enlightenment.

Well, who knew?

Got a tidbit of news from Charolette today that fiscally, Two Strikes treated me as an exec long after my self-inflicted demotion. Turns out that they SHOULD have reduced my precious time bank payout from 21 to 14 hours (reminder, this is payout; I still worked at least 20 to 30 hours beyond normal timebank allowance anyway, each pay period), but they didn’t. That was probably a premeditated oversight on F/OM’s part, who should have told Brat to slash that perk. Props to F/OM for letting me get that extra payout every month! I adore him all the more today!!!

So HR Directrix is going on med leave? Probably from HRP stressing her the hell out. I hope her previous illness is not recurring, however. She’s a good person who deserves to leave all that behind her.

Never did hear from SE this weekend. Should I be offended?

Charolette’s coming to Virginia tomorrow night! Yay!

I’m still sick as a dog. Damn it. But it improves my driving, ‘cuz I just don’t care how fast I go or how many traffic laws I break, as long as I arrive as I arrive at my destination in one piece. Loving it, this nonchalance!!!

Need a cigarette BAD!!! Just wish I could BREATHE, though!

They serve Starbucks’ coffee here at work. Yay! No more spending $3.75 every a.m. on the way to work at the South Side Starbucks, like I always used to! This living on a budget stuff is getting a BIT easier! LOL … yeah, right!

My chair is making me itchy … it’s brown and furry and does nothing for me, ergonomically or aesthetically. But I DO love having an office (with one of those door thingies … what a concept!) and windows (although I do have a rather grand view of the ghetto Chi Chi’s restaurant and the parking lot). But I really miss F/OM … Charolette says he was printing out my contact info today … that made me happy to hear.

Got email from CR today. Funny how we had to keep our distance when I was in Pgh, but now communication is regular. I guess it’s safe now that we’re 250 miles apart.

Also got email from Monkey Boy. What a treat!

Not feeling so lonely today. Just achy and bitchy, like usual, but definitely not lonely! 😉

Futility.

This cold is kicking my ass. I thought I’d feel better today, but I feel worse instead.

Talked with Mom today … made me feel a lot better … she can always be strong for me when I can’t find the energy to do it for myself. Took a drive around Alexandria for kicks today. Got Samantha Jones washed … she’s loving it, being back to her normal shiny indigo self. I swear, she drives better when she’s clean!

Didn’t do much of anything on the drive … just took all the streets that look familiar. Luckily, Edsall Road and Duke Street run pretty much parallel, which is good, because they are the two main streets that I traverse on any given day.

Had a “Sex and the City” marathon today … watched almost all of Season Three, which mom gave me on video for my recent b-day. I HATE not having cable, not like I can afford it anyway, and the next season starts on July 21. Rats. Anyway, indulged my sick-kid mentality with a pizza from Big Bite and a whole lotta ice cream. No cigarettes, though. Can’t smoke if I tried … anyway, had a big bag of throat lozenges for dessert after my marathon munchie session!

Discord.

I’m typically a raging bitch when I get sick, and dealing with this weekend’s nasty summer cold is likewise wreaking havoc on my hormones.

Starting to like Virginia but am bored witless. Do not feel like driving anywhere because A.) I will get lost, and B.) I have no sense of humor because my head is clouded because of this fricking illness. I never spent a Saturday cooped up in the house when I was in Pgh … I loved getting up early and gallivanting all over creation. And while I am partially motivated to at least go outside and clean my car windows, if nothing else, I don’t really have a need to go out because A.) fundage issues and B.) I really don’t have anywhere to go.

Bummer.

Read a book today … one more chapter till I’m finished. It’s “The Edge of Reason,” the sequel to the famed “Bridget Jones’ Diary.” It’s campy and outlandish and would make an excellent sitcom series. Unfortunately, I find myself bonding way too much with Bridget and her neuroses. The only thing I haven’t liked about the book was when she was arrested and detained in Thailand … uh, can anyone say “Brokedown Palace,” boys and girls? Which story was the original?

At any rate, feeling kind of lonely. Would call 420 Boy but we already spend a lot of time together and I’m not into overkill; just wish I had more friends locally. Oh, what a boring summer this is going to be, if I don’t find a way to make friends and FAST!

Miss my mom, miss my buddies in the ‘Burgh. Wish they could come here.

SE was supposed to be in town this weekend, but I never heard from him. I left a breezy VM on his cell to ask if this were the weekend he’d be in D.C. In good news, Charolette will spend Tuesday night here after a thrilling jaunt to Lancaster as a favor to F/OM. We won’t have much time together, but hey, a girls’ night on the town never hurt anyone! At least she’s finally *allowed* to go out with us! Woo Hoo!!!

Solved the dilemma of the 10-year-reunion. For the unfamiliar, I do NOT plan to attend my 10-year high school reunion later this year, but there is a separate reunion for July 13 that I planned 10 years ago with Pinhead, Tuna and Frumper. I knew back then that I was only hanging around with them until I made real friends, which I did when I went to college. They were just assholes, with a possible exception for Pinhead, who was at least real when he was with me, just not when others were around. But long story short, even that ended, and we always had July 13, 2002, as our “reunion” date because I’d thought it would be cool for us to meet 10 years down the road, at a time when I was certain that none of us would be speaking to each other (but I didn’t tell THEM that!).

Well, if I were in the ‘Burgh, I’d have gone, out of curiosity. But because fuel is expensive and frankly, I just hate the drive, I will NOT be going to the reunion from hell (not like any of them will be, really), but I’ve alerted Mom to the time and date, and she plans to take my grandfather to the place in question for dessert. That way, I won’t have to look at the idiots, and if they really are there, well, they liked her better than they did me, anyway!!! lol

The way I figure, I ran into Pinhead a few times when I worked in Downtown Pgh, and after the day I dared to approach him and he was a complete shit to me, well, fuck him. He was the only one I cared to see, anyway. Oh well. No loss. The loss was his, and I hope he realizes that.

I should give Chris and Judy a call. I see that Janna emailed … I have yet to read it … I feel bad ’cause she sent me a nice little birthday gift before I left and I never thanked her for it. I also miss Dawn and Charolette and Lori and Wayne and Howard. I never did write to CR, who emailed me a few times to wish me luck and to ask me to keep in touch. But he understands that it’s hard for me, knowing that there was something between us and that there was not a thing we could do to be together. But I will email when I am ready.

I think I’ll call Judy today. I miss our escapes with Chris to The Getaway for wings and sammitches. Mmmm.

CH emailed today to ask how it’s going. Such a shame, what happened last summer. On June 23, 2002, one year ago to the day, I lay on my floor and stared at the ceiling, wondering how it all got so far. I lay in that same position on that day in 2001, wondering the same thing but for a whole ‘nother reason. I had memorized ever detail in that ceiling in my living room, as if I could find myself or life’s answers somewhere between the paint smudges. My ceiling here is smooth and beige … no wisdom is embedded in that ceiling … just loose floorboards exist above it and nitwits who run around like banshees at all hours of the day. 🙂

God, I miss YKW. I hate myself, just hate myself to no end, for the way I let him pervade my thoughts. I will never forget those eyes … I thought I saw a lifetime in their depths. I was obviously mistaken. Could he ever understand that just a word from him, even an unkind one, would help me to bring some kind of closure to that chapter of my life?

No word from DC Boy. Haven’t heard from 42 Boy either. And nothing from SE … my god! Am I losing my touch? LOL

I am SO going to update my personal ad, like RIGHT NOW!!!!

😉

Happy Birthday, Charolette!!!!!!