Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

September 5th, 2002, 11:45 PM by Goddess

And BTW, it’s Friday Five!

1. What is your biggest pet peeve? Why?

I have a variety of *small* pet peeves that I’ve acquired over the years, based on the people I’ve known. With friends, it’s those who make plans and then cancel at the very last second, leaving you with no one to go out with, that really burn my toast. With relatives, I hate when they send cards with no money … like, who reads cards? With cohabitants (friendly, romantic or otherwise), it’s incompatibility on cleanliness, tidiness and level of commitment to attending to one’s mess immediately or sooner (with bedrooms not counting). With significant others or at least members of the dating cesspool, it’s a lack of a second date, especially when the first date was pretty good. And with anyone in general, those people who feel that their problems/achievements are superior to yours, and they never seem to be interested when it’s your turn to talk, because their lives are sooooo much more important to them that they don’t even listen to you.

2. What irritating habits do you have?

None. I rock. 🙂 Well, I get annoyed with people and bottle it up until the point where I either implode or I go postal on someone who doesn’t deserve it, to cover up the bad feelings I haven’t resolved about someone/something else. I let huge issues off the hook rather easily (usually hoping people will come to their senses before I get angry enough to punch them), but then I go ballistic over the minutiae.

3. Have you tried to change the irritating habits or just let them be?

As far as trying to change others’ habits, of course I’ve tried. And failed. Repeatedly. Different people respond to different stimuli, and they can change, to a degree, for a limited amount of time (a day, a year, whatever), but they usually revert right back to their piggish selves either as revenge or simply out of habit. Some people respond to sarcasm, some need for things to be directly said, some require repetition of messages until they “get” it, and some either ignored me or waited to see how far I would go until I lost my “nice” facade. And that’s a shame, because overall, I am truly a caring person who gives people up to three chances to make things “all better.” But it’s weird … some people take constructive criticism personally, and others seem to go deaf when you try to offer your tactful suggestions and solutions. But I don’t back down … I just step away and come back again, like a bad nightmare! muahahahahahaha. 🙂

But if it’s asking if I’ve tried to change my own habits, well, yes and no. I always confront the people whom I need to confront, but sometimes I allow my rage to build up for so long that it might end up being a laundry list of “Why You’re Pissing Me Off,” which isn’t healthy for either party. But I’ve learned tact over the years — I used to tell people that they were fucking assholes; now I suggest that perhaps we consider arranging a mutually beneficial solution. lol. So I guess I’ve improved some!

4. What grosses you out more than anything else? Why?

I’m gonna revert to total bitch mode, but food crusted on stoves and/or dishes makes me angry, because it’s easily remedied when done in a timely manner. I have a HIGH sense of smell, so the least bit of unpleasant odor usually sends me straight into the dry heaves. Changing cat litter, then, also qualifies, as does walking into funky-ass public restrooms … I hate it that humans and animals need to shit and piss and puke and bleed — why hasn’t all of that become as extinct as the tail that humans once had?

5. What one thing can you never see yourself doing that other people do?

Hurting others, whether intentionally or just as a side bonus. Honestly, anyone who has read the blog knows that I am prone to random catty moments, but in every instance, the person in question has done something to hurt me, even if it was in a small way. As a writer, I am hypersensitve to words, and words that are just flung about carelessly and/or those aimed with a poison dart attached, should be served right back to the offender, straight up in a double shot glass. But I rarely want to contribute the last word to a heated exchange … I always, always walk away with my dignity intact, regardless of what the person said and how they said it. I walk away before I become hurtful, whenever possible. Not to say that I haven’t sliced somebody down to size once or twice, but I’ve been on the receiving end of someone trying to prove they’re smarter or quicker or more justified than I am to say or do something. And most of the time, I still walk away feeling like I was the real victor, because I had class enough to not waste my time or my breath on a senseless, provoked argument.



Mmmm … Xanax

September 5th, 2002, 4:47 PM by Goddess

My anxiety is starting to subside within a few short minutes of scarfing down a tiny little white pill. Woo hoo!!!

Tried to get my old doctor’s office to send me my medical records. They will be glad to send them … to another physician. Crap. Now I have to find a doctor. My nerves are truly shot, and I don’t know why. It’s not like I have HRP attempting to control my every movement, decision and emotion anymore. But the stress in my life has shifted, which means that while the job is more manageable, the things that did not previously cause me stress (because they were on my terms) have changed to a degree where they now aggravate the shit out of me.

SM says this breathing problem I’ve been having is serious. Mom says most women’s heart attacks occur at night, and I know she has the same chest-clenching that I’ve been experiencing. She even noticed how my body just radiates tension when I know I have to get in a car and drive, and it’s my stupid habit of inadvertently holding my breath. I’m good at the gym, though, because I literally tell myself when to inhale and exhale, to get the oxygen flowing to my muscles. Weird how I have to remind myself to breathe … it’s like “Sleepless in Seattle,” where Tom Hanks’s character Sam says to the radio personality that someday he’ll be able to breathe in and out without having to remind himself to do it. :::sigh:::: Good movie, one I’ve seen a bajillion times. Perhaps another screening is on the near horizon?

Tons of Bon Jovi stuff on TV tonite, but I’m definitely doin’ the gym thing, followed by the grocery store thing (Pub Club Potluck tomorrow!). I need to make something cheap, easy and tasty, much like the PC members!!!



Same old, same old

September 5th, 2002, 9:30 AM by Goddess

Librarian emailed to reschedule lunch for Tuesday. Joy and rapture. And she’s making such a production out of it, hemming and hawing about whether or not she’ll even be here on that day. Jesus Christ … who fucking cares? It’s taken nine emails and she’s the asshole who wanted to do this, not me. It’s like trying to schedule lunch with royalty, when it’s my schedule that’s more of a wild card, with errant interviews happening next week. Oy vey.

To relieve stress, SM and I hit the gym last nite (and it hit back!). We were there for two and a half hours, working out slowly but surely. We’re gonna go back today, but for maybe 45 minutes. We need to make more frequent, less lengthy visits, to keep the ol’ metabolisms up. Further, as it takes burning 3,000 calories to kill off a pound, well, I know I’ve got a boatload of work to do! 😉 But I love my little hunter-green hand towel … need to run home and get it out of the dryer at lunch. I fed Maddie enough for the whole day, which I didn’t do yesterday, but it’s cute how she will wait until I get home to ask for dinner; apparently she doesn’t ask Lab Rat for chow. Maddie just kinda rolled into my room last night, made some noise, and inched toward the kitchen. I know her routine … in six years, we’ve developed quite the rapport.

In other news, HRP and Program Directeur at Two Strikes are apparently going to Africa to start some sort of human services/child welfare system. Woo hoo! Here’s hoping for a touch of the West Nile virus to keep them from re-entering the country! lol. If that happens, Susan, tell F/OM that’s the only way I’d ever come back to that agency!!!

Oh, forgot to mention that I’m an aunt! (again!) IKEA Boy has a new Yorkie, named Jinx, who literally fits into the palm of my hand. He’s too cute! Makes me like dogs all that much more. Maybe Maddie would like a canine little brother. …