Caterwauling

Wear your best red guchies on Oct. 7, okay? You KNOW I’ll be wearing some scandalous red knickers myself!!!

Red Panties for Reproductive Choice

… But it sounds like an old George Carlin skit to me!

C’mon kids! Let’s play “hide and go fuck yourself!!!”

Proper English Usage of the ‘F’ Word

IKEA Boy is ready to quit, and I can’t blame him.

Pussy Demure said something to the effect that maybe he needs to look for another job. Like her miserable, 80-year-old crusty ass has any room to talk! Jesus H. It was HER FAULT that the bullshit about being “fired” went through, even though it was a direct quote. But apparently she met with Jackie Chan and H.R. and Howard (WTF?) before meeting with IKEA Boy (sneaky bitch, I knew she was going to do that). She completely made this seem like his fault, which it wasn’t.

Plus, she also made some catty remark that in the 1990s (the topic of his story that’s in question), he was in junior high school. What a cunt! We were out of college, actually, during the events in question, but that was just nasty of her, to imply that she thinks he’s a kid. He could sue her for that. IKEA Boy, if you’re reading this, document that conversation!!!

Now he has left the building, and he just phoned me to say he’s going to quit. I will absoutely freak if he does that … I know I made this 250-mile move for myself, but I am not suffering through this crappy pay and zombie-like work environment if he isn’t here. I swear, if he’s going to New York, I’m stuffing myself in his trunk and going with him. Like I said two posts ago, I can take or leave D.C. — I’m a better person for having lived here, but it isn’t my endpoint.

Blah. I’m being selfish. But I don’t know how to make things better for him in this working environment. I’ve tried to share my knowledge and the hard knocks that Two Strikes gave me. But even I had to know when it was time to walk away from a displeasing job situation. It’s just a shame, because IKEA Boy really throws himself into his work, and he’s always treating the gals in the Pub Club to breakfasts in his office (he knows we have soft spots for Krispy Kreme doughnuts and also for bagels-n-cream-cheese). It just sucks that we work for assholes. But isn’t that the story of our lives?

I just hope IKEA Boy comes up with maybe a revised game plan … it would suck to have to leave on their terms. I’d rather see him demonstrate that today’s debacle made it seem like his professional reputation was questioned, and that he is truly a professional who just wants to end this mess so that we can start the new issue without the specter of this one hanging over our heads. I disagree with our superiors completely, but hey, it’s their money and aggravation, not ours. We’ve done our jobs.

At any rate, just got a quick call from IKEA Boy that he’s meeting with Jackie Chan tomorrow morning. Kiddo, stay cool and say your peace. Do NOT let your (quite justifiable) anger see the light of day. Be the better person. Be better than these assholes — believe me, it’s not hard to do. 😉

Pussy Demure, IKEA Boy’s boss, put her Depends on sticky-side up today. Or do they even have a sticky side? lol — at any rate, somebody’s panties are in a bunch, and hell will be paid.

We have to get our publication reprinted because of one word. One fucking word! IKEA Boy wrote a story about our association in the 1990s, and a former president talked about having to fire an executive director. Well, even though the talk of firing the man was a direct quote, Pussy Demure made us collect all the newspapers that had been distributed, and after a meeting this afternoon with the current executive director, Jackie Chan, we’ll give the go-ahead to the printers to burn $20K to reprint. I think she’s just nervous because she gave us final approval on the article — Jackie Chan didn’t, and he’s usually the final pair of eyes.

I understand that “fired” is an incorrect term, and that as part of the paperwork that documented the man’s exile from our organization, no one was to speak about his leaving on bad terms. Oopsie. But really, that wasn’t our fault internally — the past president who flapped his yapper is of sound mind and knew that his statements would be used for publication. Further, as far as I am concerned, Pussy Demure KNEW she was the last pair of eyes to see the story, because Jackie Chan was out of the office and we had to go to press that day. Furthermore, the story was late because Jackie Chan and the past presidents were late in submitting their interview quotes to IKEA Boy.

As Sheela and I would have said when we were at Easter Seals, “WHAT A PRODUCTION!!!”

From what I’ve gathered, more than 20,000 copies have dropped throughout the country already, leaving 40,000 in limbo at the print shop. Oy vey. We might as well drop the rest and take our chances.

I’m just hoping that this is the worst of it. I can think of a few more things they may question, but as far as I am concerned, any issues dealing with a person’s dismissal should be handled with kid gloves, especially in print. But for the fact that we’re squabbling over a direct quote, well, it seems a non-issue. I just can’t believe we’re going to drop $20K to change ONE WORD!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!