Caterwauling

Okay, so I haven’t even STARTED packing for Turkey Day in the ‘Burgh, but due to my absolute refusal to leave the apartment in its usual state of disappointment, I have:

1. Scrubbed the bathroom tiles and ceiling with products by Lysol and Clorox, finally spot-cleaning the grout with bleach;

2. Scrubbed the tub (and had to keep pulling Maddie away from it);

3. Unloaded the dishwasher and placed items where they belong instead of stacking them randomly in the kitchen;

4. Reloaded the dishwasher with the mountain of shit in the sink (and I will probably run it in a few minutes);

5. Bagged up all the trash in the house for introduction to the dumpster tomorrow, including a stack-o-boxes that Tiff left behind that I hope she wasn’t planning to keep…lol;

6. Cleaned all the kitchen counters and appliances (stovetop, coffee pot, toaster, etc.) and wiped down the fridge and drawers;

7. Dust-bustered the kitchen;

8. Scrubbed the bathroom floor, walls and door;

9. Removed old food from fridge for burial in the dumpster;

and, on a more personal note:

10. Went out to dinner with Shan before grabbing a half-hour workout at the gym;

11. Redesigned Maddie’s page because the broken header tag that used to be there prevented me from editing her template. I’m not very happy with it, but it was the least obnoxious Blogskin that I could find, especially when I was trying to match the image at the top, which is trimmed in pink; and

12. Made it to the holiday without acting upon the traditional, festive homicidal urges. Woo hoo!!!

Of course, re: Point #12, the holiday hasn’t happened yet, so there’s always time to reverse that outcome. ::Sigh:: Susan says there is 3″ of snow and the skies are full of gloom and doom at our destination point. Yippee frickin’ skippy. While it’s colder than a witch’s tit in January down here, it’s still deceptively sunny (i.e., you THINK it’s going to be warm, but then you get a frosty draft up your ass, and you know better. hee hee). Props and utmost gratitude to Susan for agreeing to provide shelter for IKEA Boy and me during our adventure!!!

At any rate, damn does this place smell good. It needs a lot more work, but I need to pack (and maybe do a load of laundry), get the cat all packed up (oh, christ, the impending agony. …) So … what did YOU do today?!?! lol. BTW, I hate housework, but the cat isn’t pitching in, so it’s all on me. 🙂 Unfortunately, I never have enough time to devote to working on my personal space. The knickknacks are clean (and there are hundreds of them), the linens are freshly washed, and I did five loads of laundry last weekend, but that isn’t enough. Shit. I need to hook up with a man who will share the housework with me (and I will reward him bountifully for his efforts!!!). Any takers out there?!?!

On a final note. …

Happy Turkey Day, Turkeys!!! Unless I do a quick post tomorrow, I’ll be AWOL for a few days as IKEA Boy (yes, now he’s coming with me again!) and I hit the highways and byways to visit the land of the Black and Gold. Don’t miss me too much, and be sure to indulge as much tryptophan as humanly possible so you can conk out and forget that this holiday ever happened!!!

A Pittsburgher at heart, I will always be a “pop” drinker, although I have reverted to calling it “carbonated, caffeinated beverage on tap.” Also, down here in Virginia, if you are lucky enough to have a server who speaks/comprehends English, they refer to it as “coke” or “diet” and you just have to live with whatever they feel like serving you. 🙂

Thanks to Don, via Shan, for the link to the newest battle in the Cola Wars: Pop vs. Cola vs. Soda.

Search done on “Dawn” by Googlism:

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dawn is effective

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dawn is a family business

dawn is a supremely geeky outcast and the victim of an endless stream of attacks

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dawn is able to mold your precious pooch into a work of art

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dawn is working every day for healthy communities

dawn is

I am overly ready to take a few days to myself, even if that means spending it with my dysfunctional family in Pennsylvania. LOL. However, I am NOT looking forward to absorbing their problems and feeling guilty that my own issues — which are monumental, at least to me — are infinitesimal and downright selfish in comparison to theirs. Aaaaah, holidays have such a scent of desperation and guilt, and it’s ringing through the air already. … 🙂

On the downside, I feel bad that IKEA Boy won’t be joining me in “Stiller Country,” but he’s got stuff to deal with so that he, too, can achieve some peace of mind that will hopefully arrive before Santa Claus does. Personally, I have a bug up my ass about so many things (a shitload of small things that, when combined, equal a huge pile of shit) — it’ll do me good to leave those bugs scattering off to their own corners (or under their own rocks) for the holiday.

I was surfing the personals the other night … I wish I had been around in the days of “Free Love” and “Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n Roll.” Granted, I’d probably be dead of AIDS by now, were that the case, but to just get high, randomly hook up with a bunch of people and listen to some good, classic rock would’ve been such a perfect life for me. At any rate, while I’m waiting for these guys in my life to figure out how to dial a “412” area code (i.e., my cell #), I am bored, horny and easy, and I want to find people just like me for whatever may come. … (insert the obvious joke in here. lol)

Granted, I could just call one of my guys, and I am certain that at least three of them will readily accommodate, but I don’t want to go there, if I expect even a half a shot at a relationship with them. Plus, like the lines go in my “functional” movie, “Reality Bites,” Lanie asked why life can’t return to the way it used to be on “The Brady Bunch,” and Troy responded. “Well, because Mr. Brady died of AIDS.” The way I’ve experienced it, you can’t undo the damage you’ve done, so you’ve got to think before you do it and be willing to take all that comes (or doesn’t come) as a result.

It’s funny — there are some people you will die to hold in your arms, to struggle to retain in your life, to show them how wonderful an addition you can be to their lives; there are the people who fall into your life easily and remain there the same way, with minimal effort, for an indefinite period of time; and then there are the remainder who won’t go away, no matter how hard you wish and dream about not having to be a part of their worlds. Perhaps all humans fit into one of those three categories for everyone in our lives, but we don’t realize it. I can list so many names under all of those descriptions, and then I wonder why we even bother affiliating with the third category — unless in their eyes, we are the ones in the first category. Humph. I’m gettin’ all philosophical, but I’m not conveying it with the coherence it deserves. Blah. Pre-holiday delirium is setting in.

The plot is thickening at work. I am 99 percent convinced that we are being audiotaped and that our e-mail is officially under scrutiny. Shan has some inside info, but she’s got some more digging around to do, but the overarching assumption is to watch our asses. Oh, goody. 🙂 Whatever happens, I hope it occurs after Thanksgiving … just give me some time to enjoy my life before I have to come back here and deal with these turkeys and their neverending stream of turkey poop.

I.Am.So.Friggin.EXHAUSTED!!!

Spent from 2:30 a.m. till 5 a.m. last nite at IKEA Boy’s house, in aftermath of yet another domestic drama, only to come home, view some porn, fall asleep and be awakened by cell phone ringing at 6:30 a.m. (alas, it wasn’t IKEA Boy again, but work). Gaaaaaaah. I was asked to be in at 7:30 a.m., so I said sure, no problem. So I reset my alarm (so I thought) and figured I’d snooze for a half hour.

So at 8:30 a.m., the cell phone rang again. M. McB. was asking where the hell I was. Ooops. I tossed myself together and was there by 9, where (thankfully) the magazine looked awesome. Normally, I spend four or five hours at the print shop on press days, but I was out within 20 minutes. They asked if I wanted to stay longer, like usual, but I said hell no — I wanted to get to sleep.

So, I wandered out to Panera for a raspberry-and-chocolate bagel with raspberry cream cheese (mmmm) and some decaf hazelnut coffee. Well, I fell asleep for a moment while I was getting my coffee, and I succeeded in flooding my cup, the counter and the floor with scathing hot brown liquid. My hand has a big red burn mark, but ask me if I feel it. Just ask. Okay, fine — I can’t feel a fuckin’ thing. 🙂

I decided to wash Samantha Jones, in honor of her birthday. It was quite a fluke, actually, as I was getting gas and the electronic screen at the pump offered me a discounted car wash. I figured, sure, why not. So we went through an automatic wash, which of course didn’t dry her, so I spent a half hour and used my three “trunk towels” to spiff her up. And in my short-short skirt, I attracted some attention and ended up talking with a guy for awhile. 🙂

Well, I realized that I had a check for tens of thousands of dollars, sitting in my vehicle, for the press company, so I drove through the hideously dusty-and-muddy Industrial Park to give them their money. Samantha’s glittery indigo paint was COVERED in chalk-white dust. ARGH!!!!! I came home, spiffed her up AGAIN, washed towels and picked up Shan for lunch (another day-o-meltdowns for her, unfortunately). Everyone in the office looked at me funny, as I was breaking at least six different rules of the dress code, and I thought I heard Yellow-Haired Bitch and O sniggering after I walked past them. Screw ’em — I’m cuter than them both combined. 🙂

Anyway, Shan and I had a good lunch of beer, ranch dressing and a large dripping cheeseburger-and-fries greaserfest at Ruby Tuesday. Mmmm. Thanks for lunch, Shan!!!

So, as the past 12 hours had been all about being there for/with my friends, I decided to pamper myself with a trip to the Dollar Store. Yay! Ten bucks later, and I feel like a new woman. I’m such a cheap date. LOL. I still feel like cat shit, though (it takes more than three hours of sleep to preserve this princess. lol). I know it’s only 6 p.m., but I think I’m going to retire early this evening. Although … I advised IKEA Boy to change the locks at his house tonight, and I think I’d better keep the phone close at hand, just in case. …

Oh, as if today’s comedy of errors didn’t sound like enough, last night, after picking up shards of glass for what seemed like an hour (with no cuts, mind you), Jynxie jumped up on me, peed on my shirt and drew blood from my arm with one of his paws. Hee hee hee. Crap. Aaaah, the thanks I get from my nephew. … 🙂

First of all, let us join in wishing Samantha Jones (my beloved car) a Happy 10,000th!!! (mile, that is!)

Samantha and I spent the past six hours cruising around the metro D.C. area. We even ended up in Maryland for a bit, before idling around Old Town and Potomac Yards. We went to some scenic overlooks and to the marina and all kinds of other neat places. ‘Twas a day that I just couldn’t be in the house — the sun was shining and the air was crisp but just warm enough for me to run around in a T-Shirt and jeans.

It all started with desperately wanting a greasy breakfast from Mickey D’s, and well, after some time in the park, eating my sandwich and drinking coffee and chatting on the phone with Mom, I headed down the highway and, well, never looked back. ‘Twas heavenly … I took the new Matchbox Twenty and Tori Amos CDs, and I was quite pleased to take the George Washington Memorial Parkway as far out as it goes (from Old Town to the Beltway), with the sunroof open and the stereo blasting. Damn. All days should feel like today.

I hopped out of the car a few times; once in particular that I will mention happened to be at an overlook where I could see white sails, trees with sparse yet vibrant leaves, the blue-green-brown waters of the Potomac River and cirrus clouds overhead. Aaaah. I almost cried … I have never been happier since I moved here, than when I was standing on that rock, drinking in the scenery and taking note of the Washington Monument in the far-off horizon like a compass needle.

I get my perspective on the world when I am absorbed in gorgeous scenery — I’ve always been a daydreamer, always had my head in the clouds. That, coupled with growing up in mountainous Western Pennsylvania, has always given me an appreciation of being surrounded by water, foliage, cityscapes and a nearness to the skies and the stars. I guess, for the first time, I felt truly at home down here. Life isn’t perfect or even anywhere close, but the pleasure really does lie in the small things. It may not be the life I wanted, but I am trying to enjoy it and make it into a life that I will have been satisfied to have lived. And today, I took a mental photograph of that utopia. It was sort of sad that I didn’t have anyone with whom to share this perfect day, but once I finally drag my mom down here, I will show it to her — she will love it just as much as I did, I am certain.

Maybe I WILL live here for the rest of my life. I got that feeling today, that I am in the right place. I think that’s the reason why I will remember this day, more than anything else. It’s so rare to experience such peace, such certainty. Perhaps that is the destiny I seek, to feel that way all the time. While it’s wonderful to be happy, sometimes, it’s OK to be happy enough.

“I’M NOT CRAZY I’M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL

I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU CAN’T TELL

BUT STAY AWHILE AND MAYBE THEN YOU’LL SEE

A DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME

I’M NOT CRAZY I’M JUST A LITTLE IMPAIRED

I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T CARE

BUT SOON ENOUGH YOU’RE GONNA THINK OF ME

AND HOW I USED TO BE.”

— Matchbox Twenty, “Unwell” —

It’s nearly 4 a.m. as I start what I hope will be a short diatribe (yeah, right — I haven’t blogged for weeks!!!). All I can say is that my digestive tract is in absolute rebellion right now, as my multiple-beers-and-shots (4 Chocolate Cake and 2 Kamikaze) and some really bad smokey treats I got my hands on are in mortal combat with my equilibrium.

Shan nearly quit the job today, and frankly, I was ready to storm out yesterday. Seems that the fungus at the top of the Veggie Patch has deemed that those who are due for 180-day reviews in the New Year (i.e., Shan and me) will get our reviews and not our raises … but H.R. announced in yesterday’s manager’s meeting that “at least they will get a big (retro) check on July 22.” I almost ripped her bottle-blonde hair from her head, strand by painful strand. How flip and how inappropriate from a so-called leader of this organization, as if such a word as “organization” can ever be used in reference to that place.

As y’all probably remember, my decision to move here to Northern Virginia was contingent upon the fact that I was promised a raise after six months of living in perfect squalor. Granted, I make okay money, but at $16K less than the pain and agony of Two Strikes, I’ve traded a bad situation for, well, a different bad situation.

I wanted to tell the associate executive assistant esquire doctorate whatever the fuck they call themselves at that place (everyone’s all about the 15-word titles there) that that check will not do me a whole fucking lot of good when my car gets repossessed due to the fact that I am unable to meet my regular payments and that the raise, when effected, per month is just pennies more than the car payment I miss so faithfully. Yeah, dumb fat fucking bitch who has NO room to be smug about anything — when my car gets repo’d, and I’m not able to drive to the Veggie Patch (and the Metro is two miles away and still wouldn’t get me there), what are ya gonna do then?!?!

I get it, though. If we quit before July 22, they don’t owe us shit. However, Shan and I both have offer letters that state that we will be eligible for raises at that six-month mark, and damn it, we need to enforce that.

IKEA Boy feels horrible, that he dragged me down here, only to deal with nothing but aggravation and near-poverty at this job that he bragged about. Personally, I love my supervisor, I love my workload, I love piss-and-moan sessions with Shan, and I love the fact that I could totally blow off today because I was in a bad fucking mood, and my supervisor had no problems whatsoever with me being completely uninvolved with the press run today. I’ll make up for it Monday, but I would’ve had a meltdown today, had I had to deal with anything related to the Veggie Patch.

Unfortunately, Shan DID enter a meltdown phase today, as the shit kept hitting the fan and her feet were chained to the base of it. She had some choice words for Jackie, and she left early. Go, Shan! I was touched because she told him flat-out that the thing that keeps her there is me. 🙂 Awwwww. Touche.

I wouldn’t say that we drank ourselves into oblivion tonight. Granted, we had a lot more than usual, but we’re usually coherent enough to drive home. Well, tonight was an adventure, and I’m forcing myself to drink water to try to help with the hangover that will inevitably sledgehammer me tomorrow. Although, the water is rebelling. Damn it.

IKEA Boy hung out with us for a little while, which we enjoyed. Actually, IKEA Boy, his beloved and I went to see the new James Bond flick today … at 10:40 a.m. … we were there nearly an hour early. LOL. The movie was awesome … it’s the first movie I’ve been to in years, and my first in Virginia. I did the Wal-Mart ‘ho thing and found that my beloved, Jon Bon Jovi, is on the cover of People magazine. I so had to buy it! 🙂

At any rate, toward the end of the evening at Benny’s, just before last call (mind you, we had arrived at 5:30 p.m.), an old neighbor of Shan’s, G3, walked past us. Those two hugged and caught up, and G3 joined us, and we invited his friend John to join the festivities as well.

I really enjoyed them both. G3 is a cute Hispanic boy, and John is all-Italian. We ended up at their place, and well, we had more beers, smoked some damn strong smokey treats (I think they were laced with something, ‘cuz Shan and I got SICK AS FUCKING DOGS after we took our two meager hits) and played with glow sticks. Some other guys came over (I’m hard-pressed to remember their names — maybe Jose and Michael), and we just chilled. I ended up in the bedroom with G3 (of course), but let me just tell this story as only Dawn can. … 🙂

All right, I had the feeling last week that I was going to meet somebody. So did Shan. This week, however, we both walked out with phone numbers. Note the plural form of that last word. LOL. So anyway, to keep myself chaste and pure (oh, Christ — how many of you believe THAT?!?!), I wore holey black undies and didn’t shave my legs for at least a day. I figured, hell, that always keeps me out of trouble, right?

Wrong!!! Okay, so we were totally hooking up on his bed (which, ironically, has a similar comforter as my own lair), and he had my shirt open and was starting to yank down my underwear, but I noticed that he was pulling it by — you guessed it — one of the holes!!! GAAAAAAHHHH!!!

I did a calisthenic twist and practically caught his, ahem, manhood like a vise. (Lord, what manhood he has!!! It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen/felt a real-live boy. hee hee.) It was soooo fun, though. I miss hooking up with guys in bars, with no commitment, no feelings, just pure animalistic passion. Whew. It was sweeeeeetttt.

My lips are SO red and swollen right now. lol. Mmmmm.

He does seem like a nice guy, one I probably will keep in my life for a little while, maybe longer. I was impressed, I hate to say it, by the fact that he said that if we did have sex, he’s all about doing it safely and providing protection. Now, that’s a good guy. I know, it probably sounds stupid to many folks out there, but I’ve had more than my fair share of men who argue with me that they don’t want to wear a condom, that it doesn’t FEEELLLL right, that it’s my responsibility to get on the Pill.

Look, I’ve been on the Pill, and I’m not opposed to getting back on it … FOR THE RIGHT GUY. Do I really want to go back to hot flashes and shivers and more extreme mood swings and all the other fucking around with my hormones? Not really. Not that I meant to share such personal info, but a guy who’s all about having fun safely is somebody I can respect.

Shan knows G3 and really likes him, so based on that alone, I’m willing to take him more seriously than I might with some other guy I met in a bar.

John and I had some bonding time as well. For some weird reason, he took me into G3’s room and locked the door. We hung out on the bed and just talked. I wasn’t sure what his motive was, but I know that trick too well — if in fact it WAS a trick — to get a girl alone and see if she’s all over every guy within arm’s reach. But I don’t think he would have minded that, quite honestly. But I don’t get between friends. No way in hell. Friends were around long before me, and they’ll be there long after me. 🙂

But I think I’d have fun with G3 if we do go out on a date or so. I need some excitement in my life (not like I haven’t been living a whirlwind existence for the past several years — hee hee).

Speaking of dates, I was kinda pulling for RK to step up to the plate and get up the cajones to ask me out for this weekend. I felt like it was coming. We have talked via IM nearly every day for the past two weeks, and he has also called my workplace three times to chat briefly. We’ve also gotten into some racy exchanges that I am CERTAIN the associate executive esquires whatever have observed. lol. At any rate, I have taunted him a bit with the fact that while it’s easy to make plans with me, my schedule fills up pretty fast. And he even took note that I’ll be out of town for the next two weekends after this one, but he didn’t do a damn thing about it.

I mean, damn, I gave him my gold, silver and platinum options for crawling off of my shit list, and he was most interested in the platinum plan, but for that one, I advised him to reach a live representative for details. He asked how to reach a rep, and I said to call on or before a Wednesday for the following weekend. Well, after Wednesday came and went, I made alternate plans. At this point, I’m not opposed to seeing him again for a date, but I’m not going to go clearing plans to accommodate, either.

I wonder, though, why he’s back in my life. He could have just ignored my e-mail (as he did for a few weeks). He said that he was down in the dumps about his job situation (which may leave him laid off on Dec. 15 with no severance), but I think I could’ve been at least a source of amusement during these down-and-out times. 🙂

He has given me two major things to consider for the New Year — one, as mentioned in my Executive Summary below, is to not renew my lease and to move in with him come July for a rate that is cheaper than what I’m paying here, although it will be farther away from Alexandria. Pros and cons are abounding. The fact is, I want to move (but without a raise, that will be nearly fucking impossible), and my heart was set on grabbing a cute little studio in Arlington in Bryan and Paul’s building. I’ll be turning 29 in a few months, and at this ripe old age, I don’t want to move in with someone again unless it’s a man with whom I intend to spend a significant portion of my life.

Of course, as RK noted, anything can happen during the next several months. He could very well turn out to be that man with whom I will spend that significant portion of my life, which would mean that I wouldn’t be moving into the guest room. But if it does end up being a guest room situation — assuming both parties are actually serious about making that a reality — I have too much furniture to cram into a bedroom and would be better off finding another housing situation (i.e., the cute little studio I want in Arlington … lol).

The second item for further discussion with RK came only moments before I found out about the non-raise situation. He called to offer me a job with a magazine he and a friend want to launch. When/if funding is obtained, it would only be a two-year job (to start), and the pay is similar to what I was making in the ‘Burgh before I left. This is not a guarantee because of the funding, but if it’s a go, I will have a lot of decisions to make — like for instance, what will come of Shan’s and my plans to start our own businesses, and how will I balance it all (because believe me, I will die trying, because our media relations firm is important to me, as is our charitable work that is crying for our attention).

At any rate, much like my 28th birthday, my 29th birthday may also bring a new job and home. It’s a lot to think about, and probably now, as I’m tanked out of my tree, this is not the best time to be doing so!

Going back to the subject of me and getting dates, CTL e-mailed a query about my availability when I travel to the homeland over Turkey Day break. IKEA Boy only wants to go for two days, and those two days are already packed, so that will be pretty much impossible. I can’t wait till Xmas break, so I can spend a significant amount of time with my dysfunctional family, instead of with my dysfunctional co-workers. 😉

Fuck. I feel like cat shit. Argh. Time to hit the Vicodin so I can get some snoozes in. Shit. There ain’t no way I am hitting the gym later today, although thanks to H.R.’s hideous announcement that we aren’t getting the raises upon which we were depending, I hit the gym that same evening and burned 800 calories in one hour. Go, moi! Then I went home, pulled on the rubber gloves, and during commercial breaks as I watched “Will and Grace” and “ER,” I did some overdue cleaning that was crying to be done, awaiting the moment when I would finally break down and realize that wishing it would get done on its own was the wrong way to effect change. Thank god I bagged that shit up and disinfected the area, ’cause I would’ve puked (let’s clarify, I would’ve puked IN THE HOUSE as opposed to in Benny’s lot, which I did at 3:30 a.m.) if I had to smell that under-the-sink garbage collection that appeared and never disappeared. Ugh. When you go to find dishwasher soap, and trash falls on your feet, you know it’s time to either go mental or remove it from sight. Maddie also benefitted, as she has a fresh, new pan-o-litter to enjoy! (What can I say, I was in a bitter enough mood to sterilize the entire house, if I’d had enough energy left after my workout at the gym. lol.) I was half-ready to nuke the bathroom with Clorox and Comet, but I was just too friggin’ through after my exhaustive day. I’ll tackle it this weekend.

Shit, I am still drunk. And hungry. But if I eat and crash, I will have nightmares, like I usually do. Maybe I’ll pop something in the microwave anyway. But will it make up for the utter sexual frustration I am having? Argh. Shan was appalled that I didn’t get some, when it was right there, waiting. LOL. Granted, I could’ve USED some, but having her in the next room with a bunch of others, well, just wasn’t conducive to the mood. That, and I knew I was restraining the dry heaves, and I knew I needed to leave … and fast. And I left just in time, trust me!!!

At any rate, I hope G3 calls. And I will be interested to hear more from RK on a professional basis, and maybe even a personal one, if he’s ready to take me on. 🙂

So much shit happening, and due to server migration and migraine-ation because of it, my posts won’t show up for awhile. If ever. Bleah. So here is the summary, as I am on emotion-overload and am about to fucking burst.

1. Spent last evening in hospital, driving around Alexandria and Arlington, and trying to be pillar of sanity for IKEA Boy, as his beloved purposely landed himself in the ER. Saved my own breakdown for later, during private time. I did provide some comic relief in the fact that I fell down the stairs, tripping on wet leaves from the medics’ shoes. 🙂

2. Ingested a liquid dinner after 1 a.m., drove home and promptly disposed of it beside my car.

3. Awoke late because of non-hangover and sore throat/head from last night’s Mike’s Hard Iced Tea rebellion from my digestive tract.

4. Arrived at work late, only to take over my responsibilities in IKEA Boy’s and my “Weekend at Bernie’s” heist — i.e., he covered for the fact that I was MIA, and I covered for the fact that he went AWOL as well.

5. Had wild discussion with my past about threesomes, received a playful invitation to consider being a guest star, got an open invitation to escape briefly to a city I’ve never visited and actually tried to determine when that adventure (the visit, not the three-way!) can take place. (although I will admit to taking the latter under serious consideration, although that means overcoming my natural Alpha Dog instinct. …) The only problem with the visit is for the fact that somebody’s still on the ol’ shit list for reasons best left unexplained. …

6. Had the most recent of several conversations with my long-lost RK (see July entries for the beginning — and ending — of that entanglement). I’m riding his ass big-time for dropping off the face of the earth (and enjoying every excruciating moment that I inflict). Long-time readers would be SO proud of my snarkiness, but I’ll post that after I scare him away again. LOL. We’ll see if he’s tough enough to survive it, and I’ll be pretty damned impressed if he can handle me. ‘Cause not too many men have been able to withstand that challenge. 😉

6. See #5 — had semi-serious discussion with RK about moving in (as a roommate — only!) next year when the lease is up. ‘Twould be cheaper for me, but a longer commute to work. Then again, do I really want to be working at the Veggie Patch next year at this time? HELL no!!! I’d hate to be farther away from IKEA Boy and Shan, but shit, like we all couldn’t crash at each other’s places! However, I’d have to drive quite a ways to go to the gym. Damn. 🙂 But it would be a longer commute to come here to have biz meetings with Shan, and we have those practically every day. But it’s not like we have a problem picking up the phone and yakking away. And I have most of my convos with other friends via Instant Messenger anyway. Hmm. One snarky comment I can share, I told RK it would be pretty difficult to lose my phone number if I live, oh, down the hall from him. LOL. I rule. 🙂

7. Haven’t had my good, weekly chat with my mom, which just sucks. Did have a brief discussion with her and my grandfather on Tuesday, but of course I was at the bar and couldn’t hear anything. At the same bar, Shan knocked over a full beer and when we arrived back at work, I almost fell on my ass on the newly mopped floor in the lobby. Comedy of errors, as always. Never met two less-coordinated people in my LIFE!!! Of course we had to find each other in this world. Of course. Thank god. 🙂

8. Story deadline was today, but I was fucking useless at work today (worried about situation described in #1) and not in a productive mood. Looks like a working weekend is in store. Fuck.

9. Late in paying car payment (no stamps — shit — the thing was due Monday) and skipping student loan payment altogether (as car can be repossessed but education cannot be). Still not enough to pay outstanding bills, but I’ll figure something out. And I’m going to budget for beers at Bennigan’s tomorrow, because damn it, I’m worth it. 🙂

10. Fought with one of my credit card companies because they changed my account number and sent my new card to the wrong address, causing untold grief in the following ways:

a. I had to beg them to let me make a payment, as I had not received my new card by the time the payment fell due. Had to yell at them and say that I’d be much less pleasant after I got charged a late fee ($34) and over-the-limit fee ($39) for not being able to hand them what I owed them before the day it was owed. They “graciously” waived the fee to allow me to pay over the phone. Motherfuckers.

b. Because my account number was changed, four recurring bills are now being charged to the air that I’m breathing. Had to call cell phone company because new card finally arrived today and my phone service was threatened to be cut off today because of an “invalid credit card number.” Fuck. Another fee waived.

c. Must change other recurring bills before night is over.

d. One representative at the credit card company told me that I must have been hallucinating in thinking that I had updated my address online, as I had not, as new card was sent to old Pittsburgh address. Dumb bitch. Obviously, the database coughed out my new addy and she didn’t want to admit that the server was PMS-ing during the account switch fiasco.

11. As referened in intro graf, server migration has been painful. Killed old Trillian account, now on H-Sphere. Blogger isn’t being cooperative, but I dare not ask them for customer service, as they have ignored a couple of e-mails on my part for the fact that several old entries of mine have bitten the dust, including a mammoth entry made after Brat’s last day of work, a day that my heart shriveled up and died. Not that I NEED that record, but I want it. To learn from it and prevent ever making myself so vulnerable again.

12. Tiff sewed her pants and they’re better than ever!!!

Whew. And this was all in 24 hours. Motherfuck.