Caterwauling

For as much reproducing as I’ve done lately, one would think that I were having sex or something. lol. At any rate, welcome my first daughter (yet my sixth child to love men!), Shan!

Shan beats the Kumquat to a pulp.

Sure, we all came from (and some have gone on to produce another generation of) dysfunctional families. So, then, what’s a guy to do but try to get $5 million for his own lot? They’re even willing to relocate!!!

I also give credit to the many who have attempted to sell their souls online. Hell, some days, I wonder if I’ve given mine away for free. … On a good note, though, I learned from Graphic Goddess that we’ve hired someone to do the layout of my publication for me. Thank god. Not that I am incapable of doing it, but it’s one less thing I don’t have to work my ass off for. Although, I’ll be doing a great deal of it anyway. Fuckers. Can I sell my job to the LOWEST bidder?!?!

Link via Jimmy.

I just saw what we pay our figureheads in stipends. Holy shit! We’re trying to figure out if this is a monthly, annual or biannual thing. Because if it is a monthly thing, the president makes in two months what I make in a year. And that just blows.

I realized today that now that Pussy Demure claimed no raise was ever budgeted for me in January, as everyone had promised me but is seeming to forget, then I am not eligible for a retro check in June. Motherfuckers. They can wipe their asses with their extra projects.

I was feeling charitable today when I got a call asking why the previous editor left. As the true PR queen that I can be, I said that he opted to pursue his graduate education full-time. Damn, I’m good. Then he asked if I’m the editor now. I said to just list my title as Idiot in Charge. Although, arguably, that title is more appropriate for a dozen OTHERS around here. But I digress.

I’ll bet that these yo-yos DON’T post his job, so that leaves me with a paltry poverty-level salary with the occasional bonus check of $500 before taxes. Oh goody. I saw that press day for the April issue is the day before our convention starts in Anaheim. And here I was planning on driving up to Pittsburgh to welcome my goddaughter Chloe into the world on Saint Patty’s Day. Now I’m going to be taking a red-eye flight into Convention Hell. Oh well. Shan and I were talking about staying an extra day or two after the shitdig — I mean shindig — is over, as her b/f can get us a discount on our hotel stay, thanx to his connections. Shit, we may NEVER come back!!!

Anyway, please visit my cartoon strip. Those are all catchphrases heard out of our mouths around here, so while it isn’t LOL-Funny (to you, anyway), perhaps you can understand why I bitch the way I do. Shan absolutely loved it and was in tears, she was laughing so hard. I decided that’s our reminder of WHY we need to head for the hills in the near future, and she said that is the FIRST thing going up in our new office. 🙂 ‘Cause we never want to forget WHY we need to work for ourselves!!!