Caterwauling

I am not a religious woman, but that’s all I can say.

We have this one division president who has been hounding Kumquat for months about wanting some paragraphs of slop to appear in my publication. She sent e-mails all over the planet about his suspected incompetence (which, arguably, has nothing to do with my publication!), and when they finally directed her messages to ME, I was confounded and said, well, her crap was already in the queue for this month’s edition, so tell her to sit tight and contact me in the future.

As a bonus, I decided to do an article on her division, as it is having a big anniversary and is also struggling to maintain its membership. Besides, it would stroke her ego nicely.

Well, today I realized that for the fact that I have one lame-ass interview for it and a shitload of unreturned phone calls from others, I was going to scrap it for this issue. So I sent her this brilliant e-mail, stating that of course her previous submissions will appear this month, and with next month being a special issue, her other article (that I have yet to write) will shine prominently among the important (gag) showcase that is coming.

So what does she do?

Immediate e-mail from her to me: Hold the other smaller articles till next issue. Run the other one immediately. Get back to me now.

Immediate e-mail from me to Kumquat and Demure: ::dawn banging head off keyboard:: Refresh me, she was the one who created a riot because the two articles she mentioned need to go in ASAP? ::end rant::

Immediate Dawn solution: God DAMN it, I’m going to Benny’s. Now!!!

It sure doesn’t feel like it. 🙂

Got to meet the famous Dennis M. today. I swear, it was like meeting the pope. I look forward to having a real conversation with him later tonight. Shan was just so thrilled to introduce us. I can tell that it’s going to be a mile-a-minute think tank fiesta. 🙂 Good. It will be wonderful to talk business with a pro.

My stories are in bad shape, but everything else at the Veggie Patch Gazette is totally on track. Yippee. I promised Kumquat and Demure my drafts by day’s end, but that would be an embarrassment to us all. I am hoping they will be satisfied with all the other stuff I sent them for review. At any rate, I’m feeling good. I’ll pull things together … the “last minute” was invented for people like me!

The heat has been blowing on me since I arrived at 9:15 a.m. today. It’s better than the frostbite of the past week, but it’s like, come on people, does it have to always be an extreme?

I snuck out for awhile to have my 10th — I think — meal at Mickey D’s this week. I swear, my eating habits are perfectly wretched. Perhaps it will be time to revisit the Atkins Diet for February. That way, I won’t be allowed to even look at the Valentine’s Day candy in the aisles of the INS (oops, CVS). Not like anybody ever sends me anything on that hideous day anyway. Last year, I took my friends Dawn and Lynda out to dinner while my soon-to-be-ex was sitting on his ass at home, too cheap to do anything for me. We never saw each other again, not for his lack of trying to come back. Grrr. I’m not into ceremony, per se, but to be sitting at home on THAT NIGHT?!?! No flowers, nothin’? But he had told me to call him later that evening, so he could come over (and get laid, natch). Hah. That SO didn’t happen!!!

At any rate. …

Gosh, I have nothing else to say. Well, then, I’ll just get back to actually doing WORK!!!

At least they didn’t ask for a third week in a row what our plans for the weekend are. …

1. Where do you currently work?

Club Medicated. Or is it the Veggie Patch? Either way, everyone on my floor (sans Shan and me) is on mood-altering meds. The operations folks on the third floor kick ass, though.

2. How many other jobs have you had and where?

::checks her resume:: More jobs than I have toes. All of which have been in Pittsburgh. I see too many non-profits and I see no-profit for Dawn in the meantime.

3. What do you like best about your job?

You have got to be kidding.

Well, if I HAD to venture an answer, I’d say seeing a physical product every month kinda rocks. It’s hard to work and work and never see the results in a tangible form, and that is a bonus for me when I can say, “Yeah, I did that.”

4. What do you like least about your job?

How much bandwidth is there in cyberspace?

Potlucks. Baby showers. Poverty. Stress-induced gastrointestinal issues. Having to beg HR for coupons or t-shirts or whatever she has to offer, instead of having her airheaded assistant just bring the stuff to us (I never go there for anything, so I miss out). Guilt for having ambition. Being forced to tell them I’ll be a ‘lifer’ so that they won’t fire me. Micromanagement. Pretentiousness. Oh, wait, I think I’ve just described EVERYBODY’s job!!!

5. What is your dream job?

Working for myself, doing public relations and party planning and other personal promotions.