The paper is supposed to go to the publishing house today, but, well, I wasn’t even able to print it out late last night to leave it for the Veggie Patch hierarchy’s approval. I think I officially broke, or at least confused, my printer, and I even sent it to the Graphics printer, but a message came through the computer that it wasn’t processing the job either. I give up.
If I didn’t need to send it around the building for approval/proofing, I’d actually be on schedule. But lord only knows when/if anyone will have time to even look at it, much less read it. I left a panic message at the publishing house, asking if I could give it to them Friday, thus omitting the standard color check day. In fact, I think it’s ridiculous to do color check, and even the press check scheduled for Monday, for that matter. Granted, it will be lovely to be out of the office, but come on — let the publishing house do what their specialty is, which is the printing, and let me get back to MY specialty area, which is goofing off. 🙂
Mac Guy joked that he totally underbid the job. Hmm. That got me thinking in the shower this morning. He feels he’s worth more than $1,200 for two days. And even though my specialty is writing, not design, why shouldn’t I be worth at least that?
Which makes me wonder, again, whether to bother applying for Col. Mustard’s old job. I’d like to do it, but that means continuing my angst, working for the ingrates at the Veggie Patch. I suppose it would beat going to yet another disappointing organization. And that’s assuming I would get the job.
In response to my letter to Frosty below, she essentially responded that they will get a slew of applicants who won’t have the skills listed (note, I have the skills, not the “5 years as managing editor” requirement), so I might as well throw my hat in the ring. Again, what was it we were saying about the vote of no confidence? That tells me that any idiot off the street would be preferable to me, in HR-speak.
My application:
Name:
The Goddess Dawn
Address:
A too-tiny apartment that will suffice for now until I get a job that pays better. V. tired of having no storage and looking at stacks of boxes. And I just can’t keep up with the cleaning, either. Better to start fresh somewhere else. And Maddie wants her own room eventually, as she has officially ruined all of my clothing items from sleeping in my closet.
Objective:
To make enough money to get the creditors to quit calling. Although if you turn your phone off, have no voice mail, and eventually quit paying the phone bill, they DO stop calling!
Experience:
10 years of kissing the asses of ungrateful employers, holding positions from peon to executive.
5 years supervising complete idiots and mentoring the occasional talented ones.
Successfully working at half-speed and still out-producing my colleagues.
Writing complex sentences beautifully without relying on spelling/grammar check or plagiarizing.
Generally pleasant behavior, although doesn’t respond well to insults, horse tranquilizers or incompetent supervisors.
Willing to travel or relocate, to get the f*ck away from annoying colleagues and superiors.
Bathes daily, sometimes more often, usually compensating for lack of hygiene of those in close proximity.
Salary Requirements
I would like to surpass the poverty line. And it costs me $5/day to feed my cat, and $1 every time she poops, so I think that $2,500/year in child care incentives as a fringe benefit would be fair as well.
How about a million dollars a year? That should keep the bills current. Think how much stuff I could buy from the dollar store!
Who wants to hire a future millionaire? lol. E-mail is below!
