Kumquat is a pissy, whiny little bitch

February 4th, 2003, 4:39 PM by Goddess

Two and a half hours of my life have passed before my eyes — I threw away time I will never, ever get back.

Hour One of the summit was spent critiquing the paper. He was whining about registration and spots and leading and fonts and what not. I was having none of it, and basically said, “My fault. Yeah, I did that, too.” And I finally said, “I did that at 11:30 at night between bouts of vomiting — can you let me slide on this one?”

He asked if I had anything to say. I said yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I said that the paper was out on time, it looked great, and that I can totally live with the errors that were pointed out to me because it was a hell of a lot better than nothing, right? Oooh, he was pissed.

I got to explain the Ad Angel complaints before she was called to join by phone, so that went more smoothly than expected. He also criticized some of her work too, and she was none too pleased. But she as well as Graphics Goddess very sincerely commended me for making things happen, and they, too, noted that if those are the worst complaints Kumquat can come up with, well then, everyone should be grateful to me. I loved it!

Luckily, Shan pulled him out of the meeting around an hour and a half into it. This is where I had to tell them all the stories I’m writing for the next three months, along with the special features I am including in the next few issues. He of course had his two cents. I realized then that Demure truly isn’t evil — she just wants to have her ass, and her staff’s asses, covered, for when Kumquat decides to go on a criticizing binge. And I was able to knock a number of his comments right back in his face with a how-I-tried-to-prevent-that or what-I-did-to-prepare-for-that or how-I-solved-the-problems-you-never-heard-about. Ugh. It’s like having to apologize to your fourth-grade teacher for throwing a spitball in her hair. Pain-FUL!!!

I’m still playing the good lil girl role, but it’s killing me.



Leave your politics offa my license plate

February 4th, 2003, 1:27 PM by Goddess

The Commonwealth of Virginia is known for its vast array of vanity plates, but I just heard on the news that a new one — stating “Choose Life” — is going to be the next in line.

Initial thought:

Didn’t George Michael wear a shirt with that tagline in an early ’80s Wham! video?

Second thought:

Why don’t they just hand out the “Jesus Loves Me” bumper stickers when you get your plate?

You all know my politics, so I’m not going into it again. But license plate promoters are hoping this plate will encourage people to “choose adoption,” according to the newscast I just heard. Yeah, just like the “Baby On Board” window decals discouraged people from rear-ending those cars.

I just want a plate that says, “Don’t hit me.” It is the only thought I take with me on the road — my politics are better left at home, and I wish other people would agree.



Tension

February 4th, 2003, 1:12 PM by Goddess

The Veggie Patch Gazette Summit is in an hour. Ad Angel is ready to rip Mac Guy a new one over the way the ads were placed. I was having none of that and said to tell me what’s wrong so that I can ensure it doesn’t happen again. But I did thank her for going off on me in advance of the Summit, because I know that no matter how hard I worked, I’m gonna get my ass wrung out for something. I want to fucking scream right now.