‘Step up or step away’

June 26th, 2003, 1:10 PM by Goddess

A blind woman with an infant cradled in her arms was filled with sage advice for me, advice I neither requested nor desired.

“Step up or step away,” she said. “You must do one or the other. You cannot remain where you are.”

“But I don’t feel right doing either,” I said, rather petulantly.

“Staying where you are is just as bad as taking a step back,” she insisted.

“I need time,” I said.

“Time is a luxury not everyone can afford. You’ve had your time. Now you must do.”

I was so very puzzled. “You cannot see me, nor see or even know what is going on in my life. How can you offer such insight?”

“Even a blind person can perceive that your heart and your mind are way ahead of your feet,” she said, patting her child on the head and turning and walking away from me.

All of this came to me in a dream.

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Victory … almost

June 26th, 2003, 1:01 PM by Goddess

I am printing out the final proof of the paper right now. One last skim for screwed-up page jumps and whatnot, and I will be able to start making PDFs probably by 3 p.m. Which means I will have a normal workday and can leave at a reasonable hour. Woo hoo!!! (Update: Fuck! PostScript error 8133!!!! Gaah!)

My review is tomorrow at 9 a.m. I am NOT looking forward to this. Reviews fall under the category of “useless bullshit,” right up there with resumes and job interviews. They are simply requirements that managers must fulfill, and rarely have I walked away from one with any shred of dignity. I am accustomed, though, to being held to a higher standard than most of my colleagues, so I am also accustomed to anticipating hearing crap about the five things I might have done over the course of a year that might have irritated someone. Oh well. Just give me my 2 percent raise, and nobody gets hurt!

Somebody just brought a group on a tour through the Veggie Patch. I felt like a zoo animal as everyone admired me and moved on. I haven’t eaten … can’t somebody have thrown me a peanut? Or at least a Prozac? 😀

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