Caterwauling

Dave challenges us to identify our blues names. And we all volunteered our porn names.

As for moi — call me Horny Banana Clinton or Maddie Castle. I’ll answer to either. 😉

Editor’s note:I missed the original airing on Sunday because of my beloved Bon Jovi concert. So tonight, we watch the re-airing!!!

Harry proposed to Charlotte at a Jewish singles event. *swoon* She had gone on a bunch of blind dates, arranged by a handful of the mothers at her synagogue. They just couldn’t figure out why their sons weren’t married or dating lovely (although albeit newly) Jewish girls like her. They were duds, they were gay or they were too hot for words …. but they just weren’t her Harry. And now she has him back. For good.

The question of the night: do we need distance to be close? Burger and Carrie continued their combative conversations, and he decided to escape alone to his house in the Hamptons for a week. Carrie decided during that time that she really loved him, and apparently he decided the same, as he arrived on her doorstep a week later with a bouquet of pink carnations with the same “L” word on his tongue. But alas, she awoke to a Post-It Note and not to Burger, and he broke it off on that yellow sticky note. Kind of appropriate for the guy who starred in “Office Space.” *snerk*

Some discussion evolved early in the show about how a guy should never give a gal carnations. I agree, to some point. I’m not a flower fiend, but I do love the exotic ones. Shows the guy put real thought into it. But I have received carnations in the past, and it kind of made me happy that I occurred to the guy while he was strolling past a stand or happened to see a nice bunch while he was grocery shopping (what I wouldn’t give to be on someone’s mind for something other than a revenge scheme. …). But Carrie and Charlotte had told Burger that men who bring carnations or who wear Dockers are just bad news. But then Carrie qualified it that she likes pink ones — hence the final bouquet, which she ended up smashing after reading his eloquently cowardly note. SATC has never ended a show quite so dramatically … usually, there is a promise that life will be good again. She couldn’t offer that — not this week, anyway. It felt real, though, because so many of us are still searching for happy endings that just keep eluding us.

Smith Jerrod posed nude in an “Absolut Hunk” ad, which made him uncomfortable to see himself on a Times Square billboard and as the pinup boy in a bus shelter, whereby the phrase “Absolut Asshole” was graffitied onto his washboard abs. But a moment later, he was accosted by a gaggle of private-school girlies who wanted his autograph, and he was happy with his newfound throng of admirers.

Miranda cut back her workweeks to 55 hours (!), so as to spend more time with the darling redheaded Brady. (No Steve nor Dipshit Girlfriend surfaced in this episode — cheers!) Her colleagues chastised her for coming into work late a few times and, god forbid, leaving on time on Monday, and her response was that she is doing damn well at work — but it’s at home where she’s a screw-up. So, while leaving Brady in the care of her beloved nanny Magda, Miranda made Brady a crib mobile with her photos smiling down upon him as he lay in his cozy little nest.

Samantha was just as gorgeous and witty as ever. Her role was small this week, but she did advise Carrie that wearing a frowny face is an indicator of a relationship on its way straight to hell. She noted that if you’re not wearing the dreamy face, then there is a breakup in your future. (Can I say that Samantha is the big sister I always wanted? She could have saved me thousands of hours of stress over souring relationships!)

Scott pointed me toward an article in today’s New York Times about a new love interest for Carrie. I’m wondering how that’s going to play out, especially with the article hinting that Mr. Big and Carrie will NOT end up together (unlike in the original “Sex and the City” book, but I digress). But then again, one never knows. Tonight’s surprise ending kicked me in the ass, so I am certain that the series finale will be no less shocking.

I don’t know what I am going to do when this series ends. I mean, sheesh, the fabulous foursome are having the conversations my friends and I have been having for years. They do date more men (and women — *winks at Samantha*) than most of my friends and I combined, but it’s so reassuring that the same thoughts that are running through our heads are the basis for the characters’ life situations. It shows that even the “beautiful people” have problems, too … and it shows that together with your close friends, you can, in fact, survive anything. *sigh* But I will sure miss my four on-screen girlfriends when the series ends early next year.

There are just so many dumb bitches at my workplace that I simply can’t give out one award and stop there.

Today’s honoree is Town Crier, whom you may remember as being a major thorn in my ass. In regard to something that didn’t appear in the newspaper (which I had asked her pointedly to help me obtain), she sent the following e-mail to Cruise Director and Demure:

“It has been pointed out to me that the (New England-based branch), and its rep, (Dumb Bitch on Ice), don’t appear in the (Veggie Patch Gazette’s) piece on region goals.”

My response:

“I received (Dumb Bitch on Ice’s) photo, which she handed to (Town Crier) at the (Idiots Savante) meeting, which was two weeks after the established deadline date of June 30), but I never received the goals. I sent a follow-up e-mail to (DB on I) and asked (Town Crier) to assist me in contacting her. The goals never arrived — I had an open space for them until two days before we went to press.

Moving forward, I would be glad, if she does send goals, to include them in the September issue.”

Cruise Director’s response to my e-mail:

“Sounds good to me. (Town Crier) — please let whoever brought this up know what transpired so we don’t get dumped on.”

Heh heh. Town Crier got the smackdown. Fucking cunt.

Head hurts from too much thinking. Insomnia, much? Sheesh.