Wrong number

August 2nd, 2003, 8:35 PM by Goddess

My phone rings. “Hello?”

“Um, hi.”

“Um, hi.” I was hoping he’d be an obscene caller.

“I just found your number. Sorry it took so long to get back to you.”

“Can I ask who’s calling?” I was downright gleeful — could it be a potential date?

“Mike.”

“Mike who?” Oh, god, could it have been Hot Mike from dance class? The one who never called, even though I gave him my number?

“Mike … the one with the aromatherapy products.”

*crushed silence*

“Anyway, I was just doing some laundry, and I found your number. Wanted to get in touch and see if you were still interested.”

“Aromatherapy?” Damn it, it wasn’t the Mike I wanted it to be. Fuck.

“Yeah.”

“How’d you get this number?”

“Um, you gave it to me.”

“No, actually, I don’t give out my number to people. What number are you trying to reach?”

“(976.whore.ny)”

“That’s my number, but I suspect someone gave you my number in error. Is there a name written with the number?”

“No, you just scribbled it down on a scrap of paper.”

“Look, it sounds like someone gave you a wrong number. I only give out business cards — I don’t scribble my number on anything.” *Bathroom walls, maybe, but not on papers. Heh*

“No, you gave me your number.”

“Oh, for christ’s sake, I did not. And I’m still not interested in whatever the hell you’re trying to sell.”

“Um. Okay.” *click*

*screams*



Can you smell that smell?

August 2nd, 2003, 12:13 PM by Goddess

Moved my first load to the new apartment. I was treated to a vomit-scented stairwell at my current abode, and an Eau de Fresh Dung aroma at the new place.

I’m glad I have another 15 days to make this move — I have entirely too much crap. Friends keep asking what they can get me as a housewarming gift (let me point them toward my Amazon Wish List), but then again, do I really need more stuff?!?! < / shameless plug for gifts >

One thing that will NOT be on my wish list is Mariah Carey’s rendition of Def Leppard’s “Bringing on the Heartbreak.” Sweet jesus on a pogo stick, bring on the earplugs!!!

At any rate, a Haunted Housewarming Soiree is on the horizon. I love my new balcony, and once I go back to Pittsburgh for my grill, there will be much meat consumption at my hacienda. 🙂