One of my coworkers joked, a la “Office Space” today, “Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays!” heh. He was right. 🙂
I haven’t felt particularly inclined to post today — I have little to say. I was busy at work (it’s production week) and I’ve had a lot on my mind, so I’ve been quiet.
I miss Shan. I know, she’s got her new life adventure, what with taking care of a miniscule pre-term baby at home, complete with hospital monitors and the nagging stress of knowing that, if something doesn’t go quite right, they are a good half hour away from any hospital. But as I’ve been trying to weed people out of my life, she was one of the few whom I didn’t want to fade into oblivion. I just hope that, once Alex is in the clear, we will have time to hang out again.
Thought a lot today about my purpose on this planet. Long ago, I counted on career success to make up for a less-than-satisfying personal life. And I still hold onto the hope that I will be much more financially stable and aesthetically content one of these days. But now I wonder about the whole lack-of-relationship business — maybe it is bothering me more than I’d ever admit. I’ve never felt particularly inclined to be married or otherwise paired off, but it does have its benefits, I suppose. Like when most of your friends are happily coupled, where does that leave you on Saturday nights? Yes, alone with the remote and the vibrator.
And while I must admit that I’m glad I haven’t had to take a pregnancy or an STD test anytime recently, I do wish I could replace eating with sex. Seriously, my appetite has been uncontrollable lately. Replacing ice cream with some version of genitalia would be so much healthier, wouldn’t it? 🙂 Although, at this point, I swear I forget how to have sex … or, at least, good sex. And sex is such a part of who I am — I love to talk about it just as much as have it. Only right now, I’m drawing solely upon memories, and even those seem so far away and fuzzy.
It’s been almost five months … do I qualify as a born-again virgin? 🙂