When all you have left is scandalous underwear …

September 30th, 2003, 9:59 PM by Goddess

… You know it’s time to do laundry.

Damn it.

All my cute scandalous guchies (that I try to save for special occasions that just never seem to happen anymore!) are irritating the fuck out of my appendix scar. I suppose that means I need to make time to do laundry sometime in the near future. That, and get the damn apartment into some type of shape for my housewarming.

Shawn asked if I’m really ready to have a party, what with being laid up for a few weeks and still not being remotely unpacked. Also, he really wants to paint my apartment, but time is tight for him this month and it won’t happen by Nov. 1.

So I have a solution: Have an apartment-warming party with the house clean but not brilliantly decorated … and THEN have a New Year’s Eve party when it’s lookin’ all spectacular!!!

Yes, I’m a party queen. Who’s up for TWO occasions to drink among friends?!?!



Yadda yadda yadda

September 30th, 2003, 12:10 PM by Goddess

There is something that’s trying to roll around in my head, but I’m not entertaining it. At least, not right now. But it still keeps pervading my consciousness. It’s not the worst thought I’ve ever had, by any means. In fact, it’s a rather interesting item of bemusement.

Until, of course, I truly go with the thought and do something about it.

I wonder if I’m sometimes afraid of taking chances because I wouldn’t know happiness if I fell over it.



Another day, another carrot

September 30th, 2003, 8:50 AM by Goddess

After yesterday’s childish brouhaha, I was treated to my computer blowing up. Yes, as in *poof* — goodbye data. Two and a half hours later with the Disk Doctor, and I’m running fairly well, although slowly. And after THAT, it took three hours to print the proof of the paper. I almost took the fucking disk to Kinko’s, that’s how frustrated I was.

But, as always, we had the usual suspects together in my office, laughing and bullshitting while the computer and printer decided to go berserk, and so it was a bearable — if not, dare I say, enjoyable — afternoon.

Today, I’m in hiding in my office. I have major edits to do, and I’m not in the least bit of a mood to deal with anyone other than my staff writer.

Talked with Shan last night. She graciously made contact with someone at the Veggie Patch who had requested her help on a few issues. The conversation didn’t sound too pleasant, but Shan remains unruffled. After she heard about MY day, we just kind of collectively shook our heads and said how typical our experiences with our colleagues was. But she was, like me, disappointed that the CFO went so apeshit on me — he was our hero around here. Oh well. Time to get some new heroes. 🙂

I didn’t sleep a wink last night — my mind was racing. Shawn and Tiff both recommend that I just let the chips fall where they may, and they’re right. The big companies that we owe money to, well, they’ll survive without our money arriving on time, and if they choose to no longer do business with us, that’s the breaks. I’m sure they’ll be patient, because of the great relationships I’ve cultivated with them, but they won’t keep doing me personal favors. But it’s the freelancers who are not getting paid who concern me. It’s the people who are depending on their meager checks to pay their rent and feed their kids and buy smokey treats (heh — you know who you are!) for whom I am fighting.

I made it known today that all the bullshit has broken my heart. I articulated that I can’t believe how easily we forget that we are all on the same team. That ripping e-mail from the CFO — which basically said that I need to quit insinuating that his staff makes mistakes, because he can certainly mention a tally of mistakes that have been made in my department — really did a number on my morale. I said once again that I came back (early, mind you) from my recovery because I cared about the paper, and it’s just a shame that so few others give a shit about it or the people who make it possible.

It’s funny — at my former job (Two Strikes), I was striken with anxiety because EVERYTHING was a priority. I was always running, always jumping, always juggling a thousand things at once, because NOTHING was to be put on the back burner. Here at the Veggie Patch, it seems like everything is on hold — everything will happen in due time. Granted, at least in the fiscal arena, it’s because there’s only so much money, and it’s not enough to cover expenses by a long shot. But overall, it just feels like NOTHING is a priority. Will I EVER find a place to work where there is a balance? Where my spirits won’t be stuck to the bottom of somebody’s shoes at the end of the workday?



*stormcloud*

September 29th, 2003, 8:06 AM by Goddess

For all my promises to not complain about work anymore, I am revoking that promise this morning to just say

WHAT

THE

FUCK?!?!

Long story short, I spent Friday raising hell about a change in payment procedures that will directly (and negatively) impact my department. I clearly maintained that I’m hardly an opponent of change; however, I don’t wish to damage long-standing relationships with my vendors and writers, who are becoming increasingly frustrated with the lag time between the time services are rendered and the time they are compensated (a separate issue, but I needed to blow some steam off). I said I was “less than thrilled” with the new procedure, because I ask the printer for enough favors as it is and do not want to put them in the position of having to tell me that they can’t print the paper because they haven’t received the money.

The problem is that I am no longer permitted to hand-deliver checks to my vendors and writers — which you would think they would like because I save them the fucking postage. At least when I have the checks in-hand, we all know that the paper can be printed, and if I don’t have the money in-hand, I know to go up to Accounting and fight for it. Now I am going to have to start calling and begging to know the status of my checks, and if they’re not received, I’m going to be getting even more vendor calls than I already do. Joy. And this isn’t the friendliest bunch of people to deal with (the Accounting staff), so I would like to avoid them when possible.

That’s my whole problem with the Accounting department — I know money is tight, but they aren’t the most cooperative bunch when it comes to letting us know if/when checks are cut/mailed. All I want to know is that my people and vendors are getting paid, because if they’re not, they have every right to go on strike until we catch up with their invoices. And it has been suggested too many times by too many people for me to not bring it to the McManagement’s attention.

I have to say that I am impressed with my boss. She took my side immediately and strategized with me how to get my money on/before the date it needs to be at the printer. (Read: If Accounting needs to mail the checks, then they’re going to have to cut my checks a week earlier than planned, so as to accommodate putting them in the mail and having them arrive at the print shop, the post office and the address-quality company before I transmit the paper.) She’s a devious one, I’ll tell ya, but I’m glad I’m the one benefiting from it!!! 🙂

The “less than thrilled” phrase came back to bite me in the ass, in the form of a terse e-mail from the CFO, copied to tons of people, including H.R. (excuse me, but is this a performance issue? As far as I (and my boss) could tell, I brought up a valid concern about my department. Not to mention, but I run a tight ship and am always under budget — it’s not like I am requesting money to go on a shopping spree — I’m asking them to pay people for services that have already been provided, for cripes’ sake. *scream*

OK, time to get the blood pressure down a little bit.

So much for “taking it easy” during my recovery.

Shan (our dear new mommy) wants to open a daycare. I hope she gets the small-business loan that she’s seeking — I will be glad to defect and help her with the administrative side of it (lord knows I won’t want to be the one watching the kiddies!). Shan is back on her kick that I need to have a kid, but Shawn said that I need to wait another five or six years till I’m ready, ’cause I sho’ ain’t mommy material now! 🙂

But back to Accounting, one staffer wrote me an e-mail that said — and I quote — “Do too the new procedures. …” Imagine how much I wanted to copyedit that note and send it back!!!



‘You’re too fabulous to be dancing in a corner!’

September 28th, 2003, 10:41 AM by Goddess

Ah, weekend.

Spent Friday night with Shawn at Apex in Dupont Circle, where we went out scoping cute boys.

It was my first post-op adventure out, and I wasn’t much up for dancing because, well, it didn’t feel all that good. So I kind of hid in a corner and danced a little bit there. One good-looking guy came up and hugged me and said, “You’re just too fabulous to be dancing in a corner!” I love him. 🙂 Too bad he liked penis more than I do!

Another hot boy ordered a drink for me (which was nice, because I kept gettin’ screwed and getting watered-down drinks ’cause I’m a chick — Shawn at least was getting nice, strong drinks), and my drink was thankfully strong. Hallelujah — it shouldn’t have taken eight drinks to get me buzzin’! But without that last drink, I’d’a still been sober.

Last night brought an unexpected invitation from Shan to come visit her and the adorable baby Alex, who is up to a whopping 8.2 pounds these days. I took over a huge pile of gifts that I’ve had sitting here (double-bagged so as not to attract cat hair) for the munchkin. The gift pile included a cute inflatable bathtub, which held all the gifts, but I just lost the ability to blow before it became fully inflated, so it was a sad little duck that had to carry loads of baby items. 🙂

I hate it when I lose energy while I’m blowing. 😉 Any tips you can suggest?!?!

Shan calls Alex “Fussy Bunny,” because she (understandably) fusses a lot. The kid goes to five doctor’s appointments a week, is attached to a monitor, has acid reflux and is continually monitored for cardio-pulmonary and neurological issues. Like Shan always says to her, “It ain’t easy bein’ a princess! You eat and poop and fuss and smile!”

Lord, that kid is cute. What’s funny, though, is for all her fussing, Shan put her in my arms, and she didn’t make a peep for more than an hour. You just have to be sure to hold her upright, to accommodate the acid reflux, which I did. In fact, I asked Shan if Alex were just being good for company, and she said oh hell no — the little one had seen her paternal grandparents earlier that day, and she’d howled for most of the visit.

We figure, Alex heard my voice nonstop for the seven months she spent baking. I joked that she was always under the table when Shan and I went out, listening and remembering my voice, because she responded to me really well, and even when she was in Shan’s arms, she knew I was there and seemed very cool with it. 🙂

I kept making fun of Alex because, while she was in her slumber, she was moving her mouth like she was sucking on a bottle. I kept asking her if she were dreaming of bottles, and Shan got the biggest kick out of that. What do kids dream about? Do they realize that they are being pampered and doted upon by every adult within earshot? I mean, shit, she’s got the John Lennon crib by Carter’s, which plays songs and has a nightlight and, best of all, vibrates? My god, where can I get a bed like that?!?!

I reluctantly left the girls after Alex was fed and started to get a little bit sleepy (she only sleeps for a few minutes at a time, so I figured I’d let Shan enjoy the rare moment of peace. That, of course, and I didn’t want to wear out my welcome — I definitely want to come back, and seeing how good Alex was with me, I might just earn some munchkin-watching privileges so her mommy can get some rest. 🙂

I went over to Shawn’s for a belated birthday party for our dear buddy Bryan, who turned 26 on Sept. 12. I’d dropped off a happy birthday cookie from Mrs. Field’s earlier that day, and they wanted me there to cut the cookie. Everyone seemed like they’d enjoyed quite a few drinks before I got there, but when I arrived, Shawn served the champagne. He remarked that he and I always have weird combinations of “champagne and. …” On my birthday, he took me to Dave & Buster’s, where we had “Champagne and Skee Ball.” Last night, it was “Champagne and Cookie.” Lord only knows what our next combination will be, but I look forward to finding out!

It was a good night, albeit a short one. But it was a rare treat for me to see nearly everyone I love in the area, whether at Shan’s or at Shawn’s, and on another rare occasion, I felt glad to be me. 🙂



Pre-emptive minesweep

September 26th, 2003, 12:02 PM by Goddess

My new catchphrase is sweeping the office today — I’m all about vocabulary and shit this fine Friday.

When I enter the tropical oasis that is (not) our ladies’ room, I nuke it with air freshener as soon as I walk in, so that I may breathe (somewhat) freely throughout my journey. It usually stinks like cat piss in there, and it is not uncommon to find brown trout swimming about the three available bowls on any given day. And as a special treat, in addition to piss droplets adorning the seats, we occasionally get the person who missed the bowl and seat entirely and who shat straight down the side of the throne. Because, you know, it’s so hard to aim your little asshole into that big bowl hole. 😉



Vocabulary lesson

September 26th, 2003, 9:12 AM by Goddess

Do you have a phobia? Spiders, snakes, heights, closed-in spaces, oh my!

Today, I learned about apocolocynposis — the fear of turning into a pumpkin.

Yes, there is a word for everything. 🙂



Dipshit

September 25th, 2003, 10:56 AM by Goddess

I just got an e-mail from a newspaper subscriber, asking me how often I run my annual calendar of events. ROFL.



Empowered

September 25th, 2003, 5:40 AM by Goddess

The power’s back on! The water’s hot again! w00t!

Seven fucking days after the storm, not to mention that my area was barely hit, minus a lot of rain and downed tree branches. Sheesh. Remind me to not hold my breath, the next time we have an outage. *sigh* I was just getting to a point where I might as well have left my overnight case at Shawn’s so I didn’t have to keep toting my panties back and forth every friggin’ day. Like I told my neighbors yesterday, it’s a shame to carry your underpants around town in a bag and not be getting laid. 🙂

In other news, I’ve been kitty training the past few days. Seems Kadi will scarf down her food, then run over to Maddie’s dish and poke her pointy head into her dish and scarf all that up, too.

So for the past three days, I have guarded Maddie while she eats. And that stupid little shit of a cat STILL harasses Maddie, no matter how many times I zing her with a squirt gun or just nudge her out of the way with my foot. But she knows she’s doing something wrong. I can snap my fingers and she will jump 10 feet, but she will recover immediately and stick her face in the dish the second she thinks I’m not looking. LIke right now, Maddie abandoned her dish five minutes ago, and I have shot the little cat with water 19 — no, make that 21 — times to get her away from the dish. Little ingrate — I spent more money on her specialty kitten food … that’s what she should be eating, not her big sister’s food!

I think I’ve worn her out for now. Maybe Maddie will wise up and just finish her food at each serving, but it’s a shame that now we can’t leave food out for her to graze, like we used to do.

Oh, well — who cares? Maybe now if the power stays on, I can actually keep some food in the house for me! 🙂



Overwhelmed

September 24th, 2003, 1:43 PM by Goddess

The problem with missing two weeks of work is that it’s all there when you get back. And what sucks even more is that you have to work twice as hard to do half as much, when you’re not feeling well.

Oh, I’ll get through this. It will just be a miracle when it does happen. 🙂

In better news, my apartment complex claims that within 24 hours, all services will be restored. I shall not hold my breath, because even though blue is a good color on me, it just doesn’t work when it’s my skin color.

God, I need a nap.