Glorious day

September 19th, 2003, 10:39 AM by Goddess

Minus losing power for several hours last night, I’m a happy girl. My a/c is working, it’s sunny and gorgeous outside, and the storm is over.

There are more tree limbs on the ground than up in the sky, but the grounds look much better now that the trees had a Mother Nature’s manicure. There was a lot of damage in Old Town (down the street) but things are peaceful around here. I understand Fairfax County (where I used to live) will be without power for up to four days.

Shawn and Scott are speeding up to Pittsburgh as I write this. The three of us were supposed to go to a Pirates game tonight in the new stadium, but as my health is still pretty crappy, I bailed out. They’re going to go visit my mom and get my microwave oven for me, and all she has to do is provide Shawn with plenty of her special-recipe banana bread for making the voyage. I also put in a quick request for her famous orange cookies and chocolate-chip cookies, so she’s gonna be busy cookin’ up a storm for her kids today. 🙂

I’m sad to not be on the trip, but I know I would never have been able to sit upright for the entire four-hour-plus drive. At any rate, wish our boys a safe adventure, and send lots of love to everyone without power and gas during the next few days. 🙂



Hurricane season

September 18th, 2003, 6:29 PM by Goddess

Things are going swimmingly here in Alexandria, Va., during the early hours of Hurricane Isabel’s rag upon the East Coast, minus the 1.2 million without power in Virginia.

Meryl gives us tips on how to tell when you’re in a hurricane. Junk food and popcorn on the grill. Good times, I tell ya.

Dave called earlier to say that he’s lost half the power at his apartment. Unfortunately, that’s down the street, so I’m hoping his power gets restored quickly and that the rest of this city stays happily hooked up. I’ll be taping “Survivor” for him — sounds like a good time to catch up on blog-reading, or (gasp!) read a book. 🙂 Update: Read 70 pages of “Good in Bed.” Not bad for an hour and a half!!! 🙂

The federal government was closed today. I heard D.C. government is closed again tomorrow, which is great news (assuming the federal government follows), even though it’s not like there was a snowball’s chance in hell that I would be returning to work anytime soon. 🙂 But it would be great for me to put the publication of the paper on hold for a week, and this is just the excuse I’d need (seeing as though near-death doesn’t qualify for a deadline extension). Update: the feds are closed! Party on, Wayne!

It’s been raining steadily here for hours. A lot of branches have snapped off the trees in my apartment complex. There is one massive branch right in front of my car, but it doesn’t seem to have hit it. *whew* Then again, the worst is yet to come, but let me tell you, if there weren’t two flights of steps leading into my apartment, I’d bring my car in here. 🙂

I got a new oven today. w00t! The old one was emitting fumes and had all the wrong knobs on it (i.e., you couldn’t turn the fucking thing on because the knobs didn’t fit and they came off in your hands). This one is the same ugly almond color as the other one (damn these apartment complexes and their bland almond fixtures, floors, walls and tiles!), but at least it’s brand-new. I SO need my apartment to be “Queer Eyed” because it’s so damn boring to look at right now. 🙂

Anyway, that’s news for now from the Axis of Isabel. I’m sure I’ll blog more, assuming the power doesn’t cut out! 🙂 Stay dry, kids. And try not to blow away!



Apocalypse

September 18th, 2003, 8:20 AM by Goddess

Rejected title: Three to six inches coming tonight. And it’s only rain.

Well, looks as though armageddon is drawing near. Signs are posted throughout my apartment complex for us to clear off our decks and balconies, and we’ve been urged to remove any satellite television systems, if applicable.

I only felt the effects of one hurricane before — Floyd — back in 1999. It rained like a mofo and my entire wall-o-kitchen-windows blew in. I came in the house absolutely soaked (umbrellas were worthless in those winds), and I was terrified because I couldn’t find Maddie for three hours. I worried that she had jumped out the hole in my kitchen wall, but she had smartly blended herself into a hamper in my closet until the storm had passed.

At any rate, I have a wall of windows in my living/dining area now, but I’m more worried that I parked my car under a tree. I’m supposed to see Bryan today to get the Short Bus cat back for a day or two, but maybe I can wiggle out of it. 😉 Or maybe I can let her out in the hurricane. Heh. That might be fun. 😉

Shawn and I took an adventure voyage to Wallyworld last night to stock up on necessities. I couldn’t find a flashlight to save my life (Bryan said not to burn candles, in case of a gas leak), but I saw some in the toy aisle that were shaped like lions, tigers and bears (oh my!) and appropriately roared or squeaked or oinked or mooed. I loved them, but Shawn wouldn’t let me get one without the promise of humiliating me for it. 😉

We stopped by the new Macaroni Grill at Kingstowne for dinner. Oh. My. God. Yum. I had Pork Chops Emilia, and I’m not a pork chops fan, but I could have ridden those straight up the Beltway, they were so good. We tried a wine sampler, which blended very well with my Percocet. 🙂 The tiramisu sucked, as it was caked in a cocoa powder fiesta that made me sneeze, but all in all, it was lovely to go out for dinner and not munch at the fridge door on whatever’s handy.

It’s windy as all hell here this morning. Shawn graciously brought my grill and balcony furniture inside last night, so I don’t have to worry about it blowing away. I’m expecting three to six inches tonight … and it’s only rain. *damn*



Thanks!

September 17th, 2003, 4:13 PM by Goddess

Just wanted to thank everyone for making the blog into a giant get-well card for me! It’s meant a lot to me that everyone has been pulling for me. As I always say, my friends are the best!

Also want to send a shout-out to Bill for tweaking the template and making it more user-friendly. (It used to look horrible on Windows — I wouldn’t know, ’cause even though I have a piece of shit Mac, it’s still a glorious Mac.) Now if we could just figure out a way to make ME more user-friendly, but that’ll never happen. 😉

Today is Dave’s birthday. Happy Birthday, old chum! Go wish him a good day, even though it’s almost over. 🙂

I’ve been doing a little bit of work from home today. It sucks. I’m constantly interrupted by my operation-induced narcolepsy, which strikes randomly. I got an e-mail from my boss that disturbed me — something about that I should be keeping track of my working hours so that they’re not counted against my sick leave. It’s not that she upset me — just workplaces in general, how you have to deal with stupid semantics like sick leave when you’ve just survived what could have been a fatal illness. Who gives a shit? I mean, really — does it matter that much?

Bleah. At any rate, I made a quick run to Safeway to stock up on chips, cookies, ice cream and water for Hurricane Isabel. But what if we lose power and my ice cream should melt? Better to eat it now and not lose it. 🙂 It’s amazing how much EFFORT it takes to run to the fucking grocery store when you’re recovering from an operation — I had no idea how many muscles it takes to keep from killing annoying customers. Now I’m hurtin’. Percocet, anyone? 😉



*scream*

September 16th, 2003, 8:22 PM by Goddess

Fucking foreigners.

I don’t care if this is the melting pot of the world — when I can’t successfully order a pizza because the dumbass on the end of the phone can’t understand what the hell I want, I get pissed. And I am pretty fucking articulate and patient — it’s not like I myself am speaking past a lump of shit in my esophagus.

I just hung up on the guy — I told him it was too much goddamned work to spend my money at his establishment. And I’m still hungry. Grrr.



Ghetto

September 16th, 2003, 5:17 PM by Goddess

The ghetto ice cream van is in the ‘hood.

There’s this crazy person who drives a tan SUV and sounds a fire alarm, driving through my apartment complex, selling sweet treats out of his or her trunk to the neighborhood immigrant children. Oh, the humanity.

The fire alarm scares the living shit out of me every time it sounds. I’m not sure how ice cream and alarms came to be associated with each other — whatever happened to the nice, clean Good Humor truck and the “Goodybar Man” who drove it?

Oh well. At least it stopped the children temporarily from beating on our cars. I yelled at the whole lot of them today — I’m sure they’re wondering, “And who the hell are you, crazy lady with the bedhead and the Garfield pajamas?”



*sniff*

September 16th, 2003, 1:31 PM by Goddess

Exciting day (if only in comparison to the last week of nothingness). I took a Wal-Mart odyssey this morning, stopping by Starbucks for the world’s worst caramel macchiato and then by Popeye’s for the nation’s best chicken strips.

That was enough of a day for me. I did not miss driving among Northern Virginia’s most psychotic morons, yet they gladly came out to remind me that they’re stll here. 🙂

I talked with Mikey today about giving the Short Bus cat back. I will probably cry when I am done typing this, but I think I made the right decision to put her up for adoption. If she were human, she’d be the child setting your bed on fire and stealing all your money. 🙂 Paul and Bryan are keeping her for a couple more days, but she’s done nothing but rip the shit out of their house, their cats, their belongings and their bodies. Obviously, she’d be doing the same here, and they are such good friends that they’d rather her terrorize them than me in my weakened state.

Mikey said he will come around Friday night to take the cat back. I feel a lump in my throat — I really do love the little rascal. She’s so friggin’ cute (although, we’ve established, not real bright), and all she wants is love. But she kept attacking and harassing Maddie, who’s never been around another cat before in her life, and Maddie walked around with her fur standing on end during Short Bus’s stay here. I can always hope that those two can eventually get along, but I haven’t been that good of a mommy to Maddie lately, and I know I can’t keep up with two kids. Maddie is at least pretty low-maintenance — give her food and peace, and she’s a happy cat.

I don’t know. I think I’m trying to talk myself into this. Short Bus will go up for adoption on Saturday. I just hope she finds a good home where everyone is loving and energetic and forgiving. She will be a great cat — it’s just hard to get through the feline equivalent of the “terrible twos” until that good cat is finally ready to show itself.

Everyone around here is preparing for Hurricane Isabel. I guess I should go buy some provisions, but I can barely lift myself up my steps, let alone bottled water and groceries.

I took Maddie outside on a harness and leash so she could get some fresh air on the balcony. She hates me. Howled the whole fucking time. I was on the phone with my Mom, and even she could hear her screaming. I swear — every time I go outside, the cat follows me, so I figured I’d do one better and let her come out with me. She promptly parked her pudgy ass on the floor and made me drag her outside. And despite herself, Maddie did sneak in a few moments of enjoying the sunshine — I can tell.

One of my neighbors across the street yelled over to ask if I’d been in the hospital — she saw me walking the past two days, and she figured I’d had an operation. I confirmed that and thanked her for asking. It’s nice when people notice what’s happening in your world. Maybe I won’t die a “Bridget Jones” death and be left alone to be eaten by wolves — maybe someone will notice I’m gone before that happens. 🙂



Ow

September 15th, 2003, 9:51 PM by Goddess

I feel like a damn Swingline stapler.

The bag is gone from my abdomen, but now I have a line of staples and a freshly dressed wound where the bag used to be. Talk about aching. Sheesh. The staples come out next Monday.

Deb graciously drove me to and from the doctor. I swear, I owe her about 10 favors. And that’s the funny thing — she doesn’t want a damn thing. She just wanted to make sure I was taken care of.

One thing I’ve learned during the past two weeks — I have a great deal of caring and selfless friends. I’ve spent so much time bitching about acquaintances throughout the years who are happy as long as you’re the one doing the favors, but it’s clear to me that I did an incredible job of picking the current circle of friends. This would have been so much harder, and I’m so grateful that it wasn’t.

Deb just lost a friend last weekend in a car wreck. In fact, the girl and her two sisters were in the car together, and they were hit by a drunk driver in North Carolina. All of them died … except the drunk driver, of course. Makes you just want to shake your fist at the humanity of it all, especially when you learn that her friend had a congenital heart defect that she’s struggled to survive, and she had just adopted a baby two weeks ago.

I think, strength permitting, I’m going to take an adventure safari to Wallyworld. I need some gauze and tape for my wounds, and I understand we’re going to get a visit from Isabella later this week. Just dandy. Let’s just hope the storm doesn’t take away my new, yet unused, grill!

I am craving some Popeye’s tonight. Maybe if I have enough money tomorrow, I’ll have to indulge myself in some cajun chicken. It’s the little things, ya know?



Ergh

September 14th, 2003, 2:17 PM by Goddess

Not feeling particularly articulate today. I’m hurting pretty bad. Luckily, the bag comes off tomorrow. And maybe life will return to somewhat normal afterward.

I’ve been ridiculously weepy during the past few days. I guess that’s supposed to be normal, but I still hate it. The house smells like a funeral parlor, with five rotting bouquets of flowers stinking up the place. They were pretty when I got them, though. 🙂 I guess I can’t ever complain again that nobody sends me flowers. …

It’s been strange without Kadi the Cat From Hell. I think I might just try to give her back to Mikey. I loved her, for all of my complaining, but Leslie made a good point that I am not in any position to be caring for a crazy kitten when I’m barely moving around my apartment. *sigh* I feel bad, but maybe it’s for the best. We’ll see.



Deep thoughts Tales from the crypt

September 13th, 2003, 9:22 AM by Goddess

Subtitle: Life is short. Do it right the first time.

So many things run through my mind as I lie like an overturned turtle for the better part of each day. I wish I could hook my brain up to Blogger, because some interesting things are now lost forever. But not many. 🙂

On wishes coming true

I was morose yesterday. I know things could have been a lot worse, but I was certifiable as I sat and stared at the walls yesterday. By the time Shawn came over last night — with a fresh load of laundry he’d done for me — I was so hungry I could eat the computer, but too tired to fix anything. I was longing for pizza (even though I haven’t eaten *real* food since last Saturday). Surprisingly, we were standing on my balcony when the Big Bite delivery guy pulled under it. Shawn joked with him that, if no one claimed the food, come knock on our door.

So the guy knocked! Seems it might’ve been a prank order. How cool was that?

It was a small pepperoni pizza and two burritos. I ate about a third of one slice of pizza, and I’ll never touch the burritos (my stomach is not happy with anything right now), but it was the best $23 I’ve ever spent in my life. Thank you, Big Bite!

On leg hair

Shaved it today. Was able to braid it, after a week of no razors going near it. Hurt like a bitch to bend over (!), but I’m happy now.

On John Ritter, Johnny Cash

Well, who the hell would have predicted losing both of them within a few hours of each other? My grandfather was a country musician himself, so Johnny Cash was the shit in our house. And I have the 8-tracks to prove it. 🙂

But the John Ritter story threw me. I mean, that could have been me. He had that undiagnosed tear in his heart, and it proved to be the death of him. Like when my abdominal pains started flaring last Saturday, I just tried so hard to take it like a woman and just brave my way through the pain. You just never know when or how you’re going to go — sometimes you’re lucky enough to have the time to get taken care of. Other times, you’re fucked. We’ll miss you, John and Johnny.

On 9/11

Although I had great plans to write about 9/11, I can’t tell you how happy I am to have avoided the blogosphere’s take on the tragedy for the umpteenth time. Yes, I will always remember. Yes, I changed 180 degrees that day. No, I don’t feel like reading about everybody else’s epiphanies right now.

One thing I have always said about 9/11 was that it showed me that I am not always going to land on my feet. Things are not always going to work out the way I want them to happen. I can no longer believe that I will live forever. I can’t hide the anxiety disorder that cropped up on that day two years ago and refuses to leave me.

Accordingly, on this Sept. 11, I was forced to recognize my newfound physical limitations. It really blows when you drop a pen and it takes 45 minutes to bend over and pick it up. I was also forced to recognize that I am not special. I’m as human as the next guy. I might have lived through my recent trauma, but that doesn’t guarantee that I won’t be shot or electrocuted tomorrow.

Life’s short. Do it right the first time.

On friends

I never ask anyone for anything. Yet this summer, I have been blessed with friends who have selflessly taken care of me on so many occasions. A grand hat tip to Bryan, Paul and Shawn for not only moving me, but also for getting me through this health crisis. From cleaning my house to fixing me food to providing me moral support (not to mention the untold loads of trash and kitty litter that Shawn has removed singlehandedly), I would have died without them. I kid you not.

I should name all the names, but knowing that employers are reading this, I’ll cut it short here. Let’s just say that a very special little visitor came to me the moment I awoke in recovery on Monday night. Her mom put her on my belly, and she lay there and cooed. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I hadn’t seen her since she was born a month ago that day. There are things to live for. That was such a huge one. Thank you for that moment. 🙂

Lucky to be alive

As it happens when someone gets sick, the familial phone chain lights up like a Las Vegas slot machine. And as always, somebody knows somebody who died from whatever you had. Normally, I wave off the stories — my family members know somebody who died at nearly everything, but one stopped me cold.

Long story short, apparently a few weeks ago, a girl’s parents were reading the obituaries, and they saw an obit for a guy, 31, who used to date their daughter. He was found dead in his apartment — his appendix had ruptured, and he died on the spot.

You never know when that fucking organ is going to spontaneously rot in your system. Get it out. Now!

On losing an organ

We’ll leave out the fact that I’m already trying to figure out how to compile a public service campaign to let people know to get their damn appendixes out before gangrene infests them.

But it’s weird. A part of you is gone (granted, it’s a rotten part, and that’s a good thing). At least if you go into the hospital and go into labor, you bring home a screaming sack of diaper rash. It’s your $28,000 souvenir, if you will. And there were literally no other women my age in the hospital who weren’t giving birth. It’s like that’s what’s expected to happen at this age. But seeing that I can’t even take care of myself without an army of friends, there shall be no kiddies for me.

In fact, I hereby declare that I shall be kid-free, just so I don’t have to go into a hospital again. In fact, kill me before taking me to another goddamn hospital. It would be quicker than the slow death you experience there anyway.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll change my mind. There is always home-birthing. 🙂

On kitties

Kadi is happily terrorizing Paul and Bryan’s cats as we speak. Maddie was allowed to stay with me, and she’s been a little angel. But judge from these two back-to-back voice messages, left within minutes of each other, whether I should take this cat back:

10:36 a.m. “Hey Dawn. It’s Paul. I hope you’re recovering well. It’s going to take a few weeks before you really feel better, but I hope you’re OK. We’re glad to take care of your kitty for a few more days until you’re better. Call if you need anything.”

10:48 a.m. “Hey Dawn, It’s Bryan. This bitch cat of yours is a little monster! She won’t let our boys near their litterbox, she eats their food and hisses at them every time they take a step toward their dishes, and she’s scratched the hell out of me! I can’t wait to give her back to you! (laughter) No reflection on your parenting, of course. Hope you’re hanging in there, and call me when you’re up to it.”

Maddie has perked up significantly since Kadi left. I think I have too. I miss her, but not enough to keep tormenting Maddie. I think I will call Mikey and see if his offer still stands to take her back … after I’ve spent $100 on a cage and food for the little monster. 🙂

On having a bag attached to an incision

It sucks. This tube and plastic bottle are attached to my lower right abdomen. Tug on it, it hurts. Let it get too full and walk with the weight of the bottle, it hurts. Sit down wrong . …. well, you get the idea.

More tales from the crypt to come!