“These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing okay
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before.”
— Staind, “So Far Away” —
I’m exhausted but alert. Paper went to bed tonight. I normally hang out at the print shop and chat with the gals on the night shift, but I only stopped by and apologized for just not having it in me to hang out this month. Next month, I’ll make an effort. Just right now, eh. Couldn’t hang.
But this is the moment each month that I await. The moment when I realize that I don’t have to be up really early the next day, because I put in a hell of a lot of hours during the week. The moment when I realize that, one week earlier, the amount of work and aggravation seemed insurmountable. The moment when I can say, hell, the team did a great job, and we have a lot of which we can be proud.
The magazine is amazing this month. The content is top-notch; the design is no less than spectacular; the glory (would there be any glory) is well-earned.
More dragons remain to be slain next week, but I’ll get to that when I can think straight. Production days like today usually leave me as an incoherent, rambling, babbling fool. But my eye has finally stopped twitching (woo hoo!), the teeth grinding has slowed to almost a halt, and I look forward to as deep of a sleep as a rambunctious kitten will allow (which, sadly, ain’t much!). Maybe Kadi needs to be reacquainted with her cage tonight. Yes, that sounds like a plan. 🙂 I’m sure Maddie will appreciate it, as she is the first one Kadi attacks before the little cat decides to get stuck in the blinds (five nights a week — what a ridiculous animal!) or knock over the ironing board that has, this week, been acting like a hamper/dresser/jewelry disposal (oh, and Kadi ate the necklace I wore yesterday, because I was stupid enough to leave it on the ironing board — fucking freak. (Oh, and the little bitch knocked over a bottle of perfume today. Right off the computer desk, because, you know, that’s where expensive water in glass bottles belongs!)
I have to say, when my staff writer, my designer and I are in a room together, it’s a wonder the glass in my office doesn’t shatter from all the brilliance and laughter we emit — it’s like the room can barely contain us sometimes. It’s times like this when I’m glad nobody in the building “gets” what we do or how we operate. Most people are smart enough to stay away from our end of the hallway during press week (some are not, but that’s a story for another day!). We could all probably work more efficiently, but when all is said and done, it doesn’t feel much like work.
And I feel kind of good that my name is on this great product. Sure, I may deal with waaaayyyy too much administrative bullshit throughout the month, but in the end, it is the magazine copies that I will take when I move out of that lovely corner office. It is the friendships that have quickly taken place of the working relationships that I will cherish. It is the personal and professional introspection tempered by the inane discussions about VH1’s “I Love the ’80s” and “Romy and Michelle” behind my closed door that makes us all realize that we’re not only putting together a magazine, but we’re also putting back together our sanity that is eroded incrementally throughout the course of any given month.
So, waxing poetic aside, I feel incredible. I’m not quite ready to take on the world at this late hour, but I can manage a contented and accomplished smile, and for me, that’s even better than world dominance. For tonight, anyway. 😉