I just cleaned out the litter station (20 pounds of poop, I kid you not!) and was in the bathroom drying my hair when Kadi (aka Short Bus Cat) went into her box and decided to have diarrhea. The problem? She missed the litterbox entirely, so there’s a good two pounds of runny, slimy shit on my rug. So I must clean it immediately. But first. …
Must. Kill. Cat. Now. …
I haven’t answered the questions in awhile, and while this week still ain’t worth it, well, I’m just tryin’ to kill time before I scrub my butt and head over to the insane asylum Veggie Patch.
1. What vehicle do you drive?
Pontiac Sunfire, 2002, indigo, coupe.
2. How long have you had it?
Two years on Oct. 12. My dealer told me I will go down in history as the first person to buy a car without knowing how to drive — I had to have my mom take two buses with me to get to the dealership so she could drive it home. 🙂
And now she drives the same damn car, only hers is a 2004 and has that XML satellite radio. I’m so jealous! 🙂
3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle?
I’m all about the sunroof, but I think what I liked most when I bought the car was 1. the color, and 2., the way, when I brake (which is a rarity), the word Pontiac lights up just above my license plate. Gas mileage is pretty good, too. And that it’s tiny and fits into any parking space. And that because it’s small, it’s easier to cut people off when I’m feelin’ the need for speed.
4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle?
That people keep slamming their doors into mine. Motherfuckers.
Also, when I’m listening to a CD and it goes back to song one, it jumps past the first two minutes of the song. And the ignition doesn’t always start on the first try. And that I smoke too much, so the inside windows are always in need of cleaning.
5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now?
I’m hardly a car elitist. I bought the one I wanted. But I might want a Mustang or a Mitsubishi in my next life — I’ll probably always have a sports car.
On second thought, I want some big-ass Hummer or something so that I can retaliate against all those assholes in huge vehicles who tailgate me at night and shine their headlights into my car. That bugs the shit outta me. Big cars try to bully my little Samantha Jones and attempt to make her scared for her life because she’s so small. Bastards.
OK, I probably stepped into some type of parallel universe, but after the last month of frustration (sexual and otherwise), I’m feeling strangely giddy. I find myself laughing out loud for no apparent reason, and I find myself smiling over funny conversations I’ve had with my buddies lately. Dare I say it, but for all my kvetching, am I actually happy?