Caterwauling

Here’s to the first poem I’ve written in two years. My inspiration came back, and I shall entertain this muse as long as she’s willing to stay. 😉

Again

I hang up the phone

And smile for moments that turn into hours

Just for the fact that we’ve connected

It’s been so long

Since I’ve felt the slightest inspiration

To write, to rhyme, to create

Anything that will outlive

The daydreams and memories

That I never see fit to record on paper

Because the images are too precious

Too tantalizing

To wish to share

Even with a computer screen

Yet without even noticing it

You’ve inspired me

To write

To dream again

To wonder what if

And I don’t know what to do with this

Sudden desire to caputre my fascination

With the cerulean and seafoam

Shades in your eyes

The curve of your lashes

The faint smile on your lips

When you’re intrigued by my chatter

Or your incredulity at my boldness

When I start to say something

That could change this easiness between us

For a long time to come

We both have

So much to overcome

Within ourselves

For this to ever stand a chance

Of not plummeting into some flaming abyss

And I know

Even though you are so much more

Worldly than I

That I am more ready for this

Than you may ever be

Your ghosts are more recent, more vivid

Of love left unresolved

And questions unanswered

From beyond this reality

And it was this passion

That captivated you so

That drew me in and

Caused me to invite myself to stay

Just to learn

How someone could love so much

With such passion and depth

And it makes me wonder

If you could ever love again

And if I could ever be so fortunate

To feel a little bit of it

Or maybe more

If you could spare it

Or if you could allow your heart

To let someone else, someone different in

What would she have said

Were she around

To give you her blessing

Do you think

She wants you to take the love

You so generously gave to her

And to let someone else

Feel so bathed in adoration

As she once enjoyed

Could you do it again

Or would it only come from half your heart

If it could ever flow again

How I await

The right moment

To come along

For something, anything

To manifest itself

To let me know

Whether to hang in there

Or let you go

But in any event

I’m all the better for having known you

And having had the opportunity to see

That a woman can be loved

More than she ever dreamed possible

And it gives me hope that

Whether or not you are the one to give it to me

I still shouldn’t stop believing that it exists

Because clearly it did

Clearly it can

And I want nothing less

For myself

So thank you

For allowing me to dream

A little while longer

A little more boldly

A little more expectantly

Thank you for giving me

The courage to break the writer’s block

And dream out loud

Again.

For the record, I just want to say that there are some HOT guys in Rockville, Md. (of all friggin’ places). At Shawn’s company holiday party last night (where I had the pleasure of hanging with the illustrious and ever-charming Scott), I was happily drooling all over myself and my $37 cocktail dress (which retailed around $200 — woo hoo, do I know how to shop for these things!). I’m not sure if the hot boys (other than my uber-attractive buddies) actually work at his company or whether they were guests of invitees, but I will certainly play nice and hope to be invited to future events there. *bats lashes*

Was home in time to watch the “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” video debut for “All Things Just Keep Getting Better.” I’m waiting for a remix to come out so that we can hear it in all the gay clubs from now till doomsday. 🙂 I was impressed that Wayne Isham was the director — he did about a gazillion of Bon Jovi’s videos, so he has all my respect. Although he really needed to do something about those sunglasses he wore. … 😉

Well, I curled my hair for the second day in a row. People think I have a job interview or something. I actually quit curling my hair more than a year ago, due to complaints from Upper McManagement that they didn’t like the way I look. As if they have ANY room to speak, but I shall digress before becoming too catty on this wondrous Hump Day (without the hump, of course!).

I sat in oodles upon oodles of traffic on the Beltway last night. I told Shawn that he’s the only person on earth for whom I would do that — and I looked like a dog’s ass when I got to said destination. *shudder* Thanks to the lovely Linda, I was able to get into the locked ladies’ room to apply about a pound and a half of makeup and to remove my tennis shoes (for driving), as the dress was designed for a gal in heels. So when I got my heels on, well, I couldn’t fasten the tiny buckles on each ankle strap because I just got a manicure and I can’t do shit with these claws. Luckily, Shawn saved the day and fastened the buckles for me, although not before a colleague caught him bowing at my feet. *swoon* All girls should have a man at their feet, even if only for a moment. It’s heavenly to be serviced. 😉

It was most excellent that I already knew a handful of people at the soiree, so it wasn’t like I was meeting EVERYBODY for the first time. In fact, a lot of these folks shall be at Shawn’s holiday party on Friday, so it will be good to see most of them again. Note that I say most. But alcohol shall prevail, and everybody is lovely when I’ve had alcohol. In fact, I should have some right now here at work, and maybe I wouldn’t have the damn crow’s feet I’ve recently acquired from glaring at my enemies. 🙂