Caterwauling

“American Idol” sucked. I think am going to break my history and not vote for a single performer. Blah. I had high hopes for Matt and Bri, but they were dashed. The idiot twins Jesus and Noel didn’t have a single spark to offer (not that I expected it). Lisa did a good job — I was thrilled because Simon really tore her apart last year AND this year, and she was clearly one of the judges’ favorites. Their other favorite was Camile, and they said Marisa was their third favorite. Everyone looked really good, but their voices seemed thin tonight. I still can’t believe they got rid of Scooter Girl. …

Speaking of unremarkable, I had a moment yesterday in which I was caught belting out tunes at work. Ugh. I thought nobody was there (as it was a holiday), and I was working between Angie’s office and mine. Well, somewhere between a Sinead Lohan/Carole King/Beth Hart/Joni Mitchell/Melissa Etheridge medley, I heard someone rustling about nearby (but all the hallway lights were off). I went to the ladies’ room (aka Toilet Town) shortly afterward, only to find our past-president in the photocopy room. Bah. The next “American Idol,” I am not. But my mortification only lasted a moment — I’m an only child, and I’m used to playing alone and amusing myself. And what the hell — it definitely kept him away from me, ’cause he sure as hell didn’t acknowledge me!

Okay, I did cast a vote for Bri. Thought I’d go for the long shot. …

Song of the day: “Everything Around Me is Changing”.

Lack of public bloggging doesn’t compensate for the internal blog that’s rolling through my mind.

God.

Did you ever find yourself standing on the precipice of … something … and your heart is telling you to just take that huge flying leap, even if it means landing splat on your face? Even when you’re certain that this is the right time to seize that moment and make it yours? What about those little voices that tell you that this could all be a figment of your imagination and that the warm, confident feeling you’ve suddenly acquired is probably just indigestion? WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE PASSION EFFERVESCING INSIDE OF YOU?

“And isn’t this always what I wanted

Isn’t it just what I always wanted

This is only what I want

Everything around me to be changing.”

Abstinence programs are being considered in my loving home state. The religious right is saying now that maybe we shouldn’t be teaching kids how to properly use contraceptives, especially at the middle-school level, even though such education led to a 30 percent drop in teen pregnancies.

My high school had the highest pregnancy rate in our entire county. And sex ed wasn’t introduced until ninth grade — one segment of a semester-long health class — and it was taught by two women who have probably never seen anything other than a plastic penis in their lives. It wasn’t enough, but I imagine it might have helped somewhat.

My mom had the best attitude toward sex — DO IT! She didn’t believe in forbidding me to do much of anything, and it led to my attitudes today of, “Well, I know I can have it whenever I can get it,” as opposed to, “*Shriek* It’s naughty, it’s dirty, so let me have as much as I can so I can rebel against parental wishes and societal norms!”

Of course, she had me when she was 16, so that kind of impacted me as far as, “Oh HELL no, I don’t want kids, especially at that age!” Mom, though, was one of those people who was meant to have kids — that’s what she did best, and she’s regretful that I am an only child, but at least she had the support and built-in babysitting services of my grandparents and great-grandmother. Most kids don’t have that kind of help when they decide to have babies of their own.

In any event, sure, stop teaching kids anything other than, “Sex is bad.” (That last line said in the voice of Mr. Mackey on “South Park” — “Sex is bad, drugs are bad, maryjuwana is bad, mmm kay?”) Don’t separate church and state. Pretend that kids really will listen to their gym teachers who are forced to teach abstinence as not just the best, but the only, way to deal with their budding sexuality.

And if they’re so fucking concerned about babies not having babies, maybe they can teach homosexuality as an option.

*off the soapbox again*