Caterwauling

I am not as young as I used to be. Cripes, I’m not even 30 yet, and I feel decrepit from one night out. I woke up at 2:30 p.m. and proceeded to do not a goddamned thing for hours. I did clean the bathroom and give myself a foot bath, but that’s all I accomplished. It kind of reminds me of the old days — go out Saturday night and spend Sunday recovering. The problem is that I only had four drinks and danced for four hours. In my “youth,” that was only a pre-party! Oh, old age, why have you crept up on me so quickly?

OMG, it’s after 5 a.m. and I just got home from my wild night out. My back hurts from driving about 60 miles all told, and my feet are sore from dancing up a storm.

Madonna songs were playing when we entered and left Nation. We did the “Safety Dance” and the “Electric Slide,” although my favorite was bopping around to “Cruel Summer,” “Let the Music Play,” Prince and Kajagoogoo and all kinds of other ’80s favorites.

We went to see Mikey dance (and he was fabulous! He really stood out even though he was in a troupe, but he was the lead dancer for most of it and rocked our slouch socks!). We were also treated to a live performance from Milli Vanilli the Pointer Sisters a Pointer Sister. Bonnie, I think. The Pointless Sister, as I called her. She looked like a drag queen. She was in Daisy Dukes and a sparkly titty top. I thought she looked bloated, but Shawn insisted she must’ve been pregnant. In any event, poor costume choice. *shudder*

She was clearly lip-synching, only there was no, well, synchronicity to the music. She was also doing fan-kicks and nearly got killed by a guy she brought on stage who could kick better than she could. She was in white platform shoes that were clearly too big for her, and we were waiting for her to flip right off the stage. I would have liked to have consumed whatever drugs she was kraked out on, because she was higher than the balcony we were standing on.

Her black pantyhose had a big hole right near the crotch. I suggested to Shawn (who thought it was a drag queen and NOT a Sister — more like WonderDragWoman, with her wild twirls and shit) that maybe that’s the hole where s/he pees out of. We were laughing like idiots, and the guys standing nearby were snickering at our many cracks as well. This clinches it — we need our own talk radio show, because we were way funnier than any D.J. could have been! Oh, how I LONGED to have my blog fired up for a blow-by-blow!

Nation had a huge-ass Rubik’s cube dangling from the ceiling. We rather enjoyed seeing that — it was far more interesting than the “live” show, that’s for sure! I’ll bet Bonnie had to pay to get in, and we wondered where the other Sisters were, but they were probably partying down the street at the strip club instead. 🙂

Needless to say, we got happily trashed before and after the (I’m not kidding) 20-minute show, and we danced like fools on the balcony. And when the management decided to close off our floor, we went downstairs and danced lots more.

I got a rose from a guy selling them. He approached me and tried to get me to have one of my four guy friends buy me one. Um. It’s a gay bar. Yeah. Like that was gonna happen. So he came back and tried to HIT ON ME!!! I gave him a fake name, and when he asked where I lived, I knew he was going to say he was from the same place. Sure enough, he said he was from Alexandria. Figures. He also had a glaringly obvious gold wedding ring on his finger, but he proceeded to ask for my phone number so we could go out on a date. I said look, dude, I’m a big flamin’ lesbo. And he was gracious enough to not push the issue, but he did give me a beautiful white blooming rose. He even picked off the thorns! I ended up giving the rose to Mikey for his brilliant performance, and he tossed it into the crowd below us so we didn’t have to remember Creepy Guy who had provided it in the first place.

On the lower dance floor, I had a guy hugging me and grinding up against me for several songs. I think he had even approached me on the balcony, but I was buzzed and couldn’t remember clearly. He was cute — in a tuxedo shirt and black dress pants. I don’t know how it is that I manage to ALWAYS pick up men in that particular bar, but it’s entertaining. It definitely took the edge off of seeing an (I assume) drug bust when we walked in. Bah. We did stick to alcohol, although I do forsee a rolling event in my near future, ’cause it’s just weird to be at that bar without hallucinogenic substances to make it more amusing. Of course, the music was all wrong for anything but alcohol.

Mikey looked awesome. So did the rest of our crew. We all had a hideous 2003, but it looks like 2004 really is shaping up to be a phenomenal year for all of us. I couldn’t get over how many compliments with which the boys were showering me — apparently I actually seem happy and peaceful. Who’da thunk it? In any event, we all had that “we’re-gonna-have-a-great-time-tonight” glow, and that’s exactly what we did. It was like a big gay prom, and it was fabulous! A GRRREAATT night indeed!!!

And now I’m too freakin’ wired to sleep. 🙂