I give up

April 14th, 2004, 9:23 PM by Goddess

Subtitle: When cake makes you fertile

I have exactly 45 things to accomplish by day’s end tomorrow to get the newspaper out on time, and I don’t see it happening.

Not to mention, but to put it mildly, everyone except Finance Guy in that place is useless. He did me a really huge favor yesterday, and he restored my faith in humanity. Unfortunately, that was tempered by the cruise director and the queen of the underworld givin’ me shit today.

In good news, my ad rep is knocked up. It’s totally my fault, according to the tale she tells. (!) See, back in February ’round Mardi Gras time, the fabulous Tricia sent me a lovely King Cake, and according to tradition, the person who gets the piece of cake with the little plastic baby in it is King for a Day and that person buys the cake next year. When my ad rep got the baby, she was scared that it meant that the person who gets the baby gets knocked up, and we laughed about that. When she went home and showed the baby to her daughter, the little girl said, “Does that mean you’re having a baby?” So she called me and we laughed and laughed. Turns out she was maybe a week or two along at that point, and she announced the news to me today, completely holding me responsible for the phenomenon.

I, of course, decided that when we have cake next year, we will scan the delicacy to ensure that the plastic baby goes to the only man on staff, because I do NOT want to start a tradition of the person who gets the baby, HAS the baby!

I’m happy for her, though, because she thought she couldn’t physically have another child. Well, that cake must’ve been magic, and I wish a happy and healthy pregnancy to my buddy!

Posted in Existential Meanderings | Comments Off on I give up


Out-of-the-box thinking

April 14th, 2004, 4:10 PM by Goddess

Instead of writing how much I want to beat the shit out of the CEO today, who again pitched a bitch with me in public that I reduce to the fact that he just can’t admit that I am more talented than his little girlfriend, I leave you with something profound:

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board:

“Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.

Some students wrote more than 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.

One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an “A”” when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”

Posted in Existential Meanderings | Comments Off on Out-of-the-box thinking


Pittsburgh nostalgia

April 14th, 2004, 6:56 AM by Goddess

I am too busy at work to take a road trip back to the motherland this week, so I will miss Bon Jovi and John Kerry at Pitt on Friday. But if you’re in the area, go throw some panties at Mr. Bon Jovi for me, will ya?

And Tiff gives us a mental walking tour of the Strip District. *sigh* I can just taste the Mancini bread. …

Posted in Existential Meanderings | Comments Off on Pittsburgh nostalgia