Even though my actual birthday isn’t till tomorrow, I’ve already started trying to say the age I’m going to be.
Th-Twenty-seven!
Even my friends are saying it. And we all sound like we are lisping now … I s’pose it comes with the ripe old age of Th-twenty-seven!
But enough about my ego. 🙂
I just took the car in for an oil change and tire rotation. I found out that I need new brakes and two new tires — I was told that my 2002 car will not pass inspection without all of those.
So, the debate occurs: spend $250 on a kit full of sex toys, or $400 on car repairs? Oh, yeah, and I am two car payments, 24 student loan payments, one cable/Internet payment and two cell phone payments behind.
I think the vibrating toys pack wins out!
From a dildo party last night to a cosmetic party today. Can we say bankrupt, boys and girls? 🙂
I did get to meet the lovely Wee Kitten that Tiff and Tom have adopted. So. Very. Cute! She looks just like Kadi did at that age, only this one seems smarter. Then again, that probably isn’t a difficult status to achieve — we don’t call Kadi “Shorty B.” (or “Short Bus”) for nothing! 😉
A coupla weeks ago, Kadi busted down my patio door. I was sweeping up and cleaning my grill/outdoor furniture yesterday, and I realized that Kadi had taken some of her toys outside that day while I was away — two coffee stirrers and a Popsicle stick (she loves to play fetch). And as I swept, she was quite indignant that I tossed her toys, and she jumped up on the screen, slid down it and made several claw marks in retribution. I swear, I’m gonna need a new screen every three months with her in the house!
Went into work for awhile today. As usual, I had no real weekend. I talked with Tiff (about the Passion Parties) and Lynn (about Mary Kay) and the whole self-employment through hosting parties thing. It’s not how I imagined starting my own business, but it would certainly help with my ever-mounting debt. I would like to launch the Passion Parties, but that requires an initial investment that I am simply not capable of making at this point. *sigh* But worse comes to worst (as it often does), I buy the $250 kit, make no sales, and have lots of vibrating toys and slippery lubes to entertain myself with as the cats and I are sleeping in the car for the next few years. 😉
Okay, y’all missed a GREAT soiree last night (of course, because I always throw great parties!). But this was no ordinary party — it was a Passion Party, full of things that go buzz in the night, stimulate your tender bits and grease up the ol’ axels, so to speak. 🙂
I’m already two car payments behind, but I got myself a nice Jelly Osaki — a purple toy with a beaver-shaped “thumb” piece, complete with a little tongue. 😉 That was actually free for me, because sales were so good I could get a free toy, and there were only three of us making purchases! I did grab a vibrating shower toy and lots of lotiony-type items to make (the current) sex for one as much fun as possible. 🙂
I think I want to become a consultant, but I’m gonna need to grab a corner in D.C. if I plan to make the initial investment in a toybox to take to parties of my own. The problem is that I don’t really have female friends who would be able to host said parties — I am a fag hag, and most of the stuff was for beginners or the lightly experimental, so we figured that the lone butt plug would’ve gotten us laughed out of a boy party!
Our party consultant (who shall retain her anonymity on this site) did a great job and made sure we had lots of fun stuff to sample and play with (hence the easy sale of the Jelly Osaki!). I know my friends picked up some “bullets” — nice, silent and tiny pocket rockets that are perfect for slipping into your closet at work and giving yourself that extra lil “oomph” to get you through the day. I would’ve gotten one, but they take watch batteries, and I am the type who will go out and buy a new watch before getting around to replacing a watch battery. 🙂
I tried to plan the food accordingly, serving hot dogs and sausage balls and shrimp and other fine goodies. And I found awesome penis straws at Spencer’s, which we all enjoyed sipping from! Nobody took the Willy Pops, so that just means I will have them all to myself during the lonely time until my new toys arrive.
I was slightly bummed that I wasn’t shopping for toy use with a partner — these parties are very much aimed at the couple who wants to spice up their lives a bit. But that’s OK — I always know where to find more toys if ever the day (or partner) should come!
Anyway, it was the best non-birthday party I have ever had. 🙂 And it just goes to show that if you’v’e got to buy your own presents, you might as well buy the best. So while I’m sort of bummed about turning 30 27 on Tuesday, at least I’ll be ringing in the new decade year on an uplifting note!
So there’s a party at Chez Dawn tonight. I had a whole schedule of cleaning, shopping and cooking ready. Needless to say, I was called into work early and just got home, so there is no goddamned way this is going to work out. At least I’m among friends, so the house looks like shit and I don’t care. Hope the grill works, ’cause burgers and dogs are the way to go tonight!
I guess, in effect, this is how I’m ringing in my birthday. Yay. Another year kicked off with chaos, stress, disillusionment and nervous energy expended on mostly the wrong things. Hurrah.
I had something more intelligent to blog about, but I’ll save that for tomorrow. Right now, I’m gonna jump in the shower, enjoy the soothing sounds of the langoliers cicadas and hope for the best.
All I have to say is that I had decided, with this issue of the paper, to not worry — to accept that things will happen as they may and that all would fall into place whether I was stressing about it or not. I see now that I might as well stress out in advance, instead of getting that kick in the ass for not worrying sooner.
Oh, and the chaos wasn’t my fault — if the print shop had called me on Thursday or even Friday with all the issues we were solving today, I would be feeling a whole lot better right now. Bah.
The 10 Commandments of Blogging, courtesy of Birthday Boy Silver Blue. Happy birthday, buddy!
Although Washingtonienne needs her own reality show — scandalous!
But apparently “RW” will be in Adams Morgan — in a wonderful district full of bars, bars and more bars. Sounds like every other season of the show. …
But until then, here’s a joke to tide ya over. …
A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a
bright, “T-G-I-F.”
He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”
She looked puzzled, and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.
He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possible, “T-G-I-F.”
The man smiled back to her once again said, “S-H-I-T.”
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, T-G-I-F means Thank Goodness It’s Friday. “Get it, duuhhh?”
The man answered, “S-H-I-T” means Sorry Honey, It’s Thursday!!”
The newspaper still hasn’t gone to bed (it was due yesterday). Waiting for an ad and Cruise Director’s column, so we took the extra day for extensive proofing and design tweaking. If nobody else is in a rush, neither should those of us responsible for getting the damned thing out the door.
Shan has to get emergency surgery today — at the same hospital that butchered the hell outta me last September. She’s got a wall of gall stones, which was discovered after she visited three other doctors who told her she was in perfect health. Not to mention that pain, but her mother-in-law “Queen Bea” is blowing into town and staying till Sunday. Poor Shan never gets a break in this life!