I *~*heart*~* Camino.
*Hugs Jen and Erica for leading me toward the light!*
Only problem I have so far are lines that start shooting across a page after I’ve scrolled down and then up. But it sure beats the Swahili and Esperanto that some of my pages were appearing in when I was a Safari user! But hey, at least they aren’t Microsoft products, which is why they work!
On iTunes: Tracy Chapman, “The Promise”
Does it have to rain on every fucking holiday? I’m trying to pick out a fabulous outfit for the cookout I am attending, and even though it will be on a covered balcony, I still don’t want to ruin a perfectly good pair of sandals whilst walking to my car. Bah.
On iTunes: Jewel, “America”
The notebook: Started a new journal today. I was waiting for something good to happen, so that my first entry would be a great one. At the rate I’m going, I wouldn’t start the journal for the next five years, so there you have it. A complicated, all-over-the-place entry. Like the dozens that will follow it. Yay. I am planning to see “The Notebook” this afternoon — I have my period and simply need a reason to cry instead of the insane outbursts I’ve been having over nothing at all!
Vodka, party of one: I bought some Absout Peppar (for bloody marys) and vanilla vodka (best mixed with diet ginger ale). That should be enough for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow. 🙂
Say goodnight, not goodbye: Shan sold her place last night. Movers are coming on the 15th and the official move-out is July 30. The realtor and buyers left after midnight last night, and when she went to turn out the lights on her deck, she noticed a ladybug on the sliding door. If you’ll recall, we love ladybugs as a sign of luck and bounty. If ever she needed a sign that packing up her life in D.C. and starting all over on the west coast was the right thing to do, there you have it.
Party like it’s 1776: Fourth of July party tomorrow. I bought triple-mousse cake slices from the Alexandria Bakery and Pastry Shop. I thought I’d be clever and not spend $30 on a whole cake, but I got gouged for $5 per slice of cake for the party attendees. Jesus H. I did sneak a slice of tiramisu for myself when I got home, and it was well worth it. Although after that sticker shock, that cake should have eaten me, plain and simple.
Tips and ass: Chris sent me a photo of a tip a customer gave him: a big fatty. Nice.
The crazy redhead in 201: I’ve noticed that the men in the building across from me stand on their porches to smoke. And I’ve noticed that they stare into my apartment, where I’m usually half-clothed, pounding away at the keyboard, plotting my master plan of evil and destruction. One day I will sit with my legs together when I’m wearing a skirt. Today, however, is not that day.
Get more (frustrated), Payless: I told you months ago about the jackass at the Springfield Payless store who sexually harassed me. So I stopped going there. Guess what? I think he was transferred to the Landmark Mall store! I had seen a lovely pair of heels at the Kingstowne store, but they didn’t have my size, so the female salesperson printed out a list of where I could find the shoes (read: Springfield and Landmark). I took my chances on Landmark yesterday, only to get molested by Habib the cabbie. Same pushy manner as the fucker at the Springfield store — just my luck, it seems they transferred the asshole to the store closest to me. Guess that means I can start shopping at Springfield again! (Being, of course, that I ran out before I bought the shoes at Landmark. *grumble*)
On iTunes: Lara Fabian, “I Will Love Again”
I treated myself to lunch at Fuddrucker’s the other day, and I saw something that depressed the shit out of me. I sat in the smoking section; just a few feet away, a family was having a 6th birthday party for a little boy. The grandfather came over to my section to have a cigarette, and that’s when the family decided to light the candles and sing to the kid. The grandfather looked so hurt that the second he stepped away was the moment they celebrated the little runt. I also noticed that the grandmother was still eating her burger when they started singing.
I don’t know — it just seems like a sad commentary on the state of the family, maybe because it reminded me of my own. My grandfather loves his smokes, and my mom is allergic to smoke, not to mention that she hates the habit in general. Anyway, I saw the kid’s mom and the other kids at the table start gorging themselves on blue-frosted cupcakes, and the grandparents just seemed to be left out. You just don’t DO that — I know the party is all about the kid, but don’t invite the family if you don’t plan to celebrate as one.
On iTunes: Kansas, “Dust in the Wind”
1. Doggy style: Remember Born on the Fourth of July? Where Tom Cruise overcame his disability to lead a healthy life, or something? Check out this American inspiration. What is the biggest challenge you’ve had to overcome to get where you are today, and what’s the biggest one you’d like to overcome now, in order to make your life better and best represent the good ole’ USA?
Compared to a lot of people, I haven’t had nearly as much to overcome to get where I am today. Really, whenever I get down because I’m beyond broke, I remember that I have arms and legs that function and a brain that, although it emits lots of word vomit because my inner monologues usually escape my lips, works fairly properly.
That said, I really want to achieve the American Dream and write the Great American Novel. I’m trying to find part-time work so I can actually pay all my bills in full when they’re due (and get my student loans out of default someday), and I want to write a tell-all bestseller when I do it. So be nice to me, lest there be a chapter devoted to you!
2. Zoned out: For those of you susceptible to over-imbibing in the face of glorious fireworks shows, the District is offering free cab rides to get you home to puke in your own bathroom. Have you ever been sick in public? (Of course you have.) Give us your worst horror story.
Oh god. Where to begin? I’d say my 21st birthday was a prize. I’d had a salad for dinner and ended up at the now-defunct Jellyrolls dueling piano bar in Pittsburgh. I was with a guy I was trying to impress. Five pineapple drinks ended up puked up in the parking lot, along with shreds of salad. I never saw that guy again. 🙂
I can top it though. I had just had awesome drunken sex (same year), and was lying there quite happily afterward when the urge to vomit hit. So I raced into the bathroom and yakked up the metric ton of Jack Daniels I had consumed. I hadn’t eaten, so it was all liquid. When I was done, the guy had already called a cab for me. *sigh*
3. Sardines: Speaking of transportation — always hip to major events, our esteemed subway system is shutting down at midnight, not to mention running two-car trains, closing stations and generally making live miserable for suburbanites. What is the worst thing you’ve ever witnessed while taking public transportation? (This must be a real event, unlike, say, a seat-spitter.)
OK, I hate being crowded with people. I can give a non-transportation example that happened today; I was in Mickey D’s with Shan, and this dumb bitch was practically stepping on my heels behind us in line. I said very loudly how I fucking HATE it when people crowd me, and I looked right at the girl. So what did she do? Start touching Shan’s hair and mine and talking about how we both have red hair, but mine is curly and Shan’s is straight. And this girl was like 16, not 6. I almost punched her. Shan had to step between us, lest I rip the braids out of her hair and strangle her with them, which was about to happen pretty quickly if Shan hadn’t intervened!
Worst thing that happened on public transportation: I was done with a Saturday class, and I usually worked afterward but I happened to have the day off, so I rode home with a scary guy who whipped out his dick and started stroking himself and licking his lips and leering at me in general. I ran up to the driver to report it, and the dumbass chased me up the aisle, threatening to kill me. I lost my favorite $60 silver bracelet in my hurry to park my ass behind the driver. He threw the guy off the bus, and I never could find my bracelet. That of course being the most tragic part of the story!
4. Chick magnets: Just before you hit the festivities on the fourth, you can gear up in our nation’s capital by enjoying free comic book day! (Note that even this has to be cooler than the mid-town bar crawl.) What is your most embarrassing hobby, how serious is this affliction, and how long have you been at it?
Hmmm, I am not really embarrassed by masturbation or downloading tons of free MP3s from my pirate site of choice. It’s damn near impossible to embarrass me unless you are acting like a turd in public and I happen to be nearby.
5. Ga-thr ’round: In the President’s Fourth of July address (we assume from last year), the Rev. Dubbya notes citizens everywhere celebrate with “barbecues, picnics, and family ga-therings.” (We’re assuming it’s phonetic for ga-thrings.) Describe a typical (or not) holiday ga-thring with your family.
The Rev. Dubya. Hah! LOVE IT!!!
Fourth of July is a sad time in my family. My great-grandmother’s birthday was the 3rd, my grandmother died on the Fourth, and another uncle was born and also died (90 years to the day) on the 5th. We stopped celebrating the holiday years ago — my grandmother died while the fireworks were going off, and even though I used to be absolutely in love with watching the fireworks, I can barely look at them now without my heart feeling like someone is tying a rope around it and chafing it.
This year may be different. Shan’s one-year wedding anniversary is over the holiday, so that’s a good thing. Of course, though, her moving truck is coming on the 8th, so that will shoot any happiness straight into the river. This time of year is always so bittersweet, but I’ve got some things I’m doing this weekend, so I hope the sweet will kill most of the bitter taste this year.
On iTunes: Jon Bon Jovi, “Every Word Was a Piece of My Heart”
Did the Smithsonian Folklife Festival yesterday. It was just me and the digital camera, for the most part. But even though I started out alone, I found myself some friends during lunch in the Haitian Market section.
I was kind of bummed at the lack of shopping — well, affordable shopping, anyway. I love to go to festivals and pick up a silver ring or a bracelet or something — the only things being sold were pieces of artwork, jars of spices and CDs of Mexican music. Bah.
Anyway, I spent the better part of my day looking and sounding like Eric Cartman from “South Park,” thinking, “Screw you, hippies!” LOL. Not that I have a thing against the hippies; in fact, my favorite part of the festival was the “Why the Jesus Movement Never Got Off the Ground,” where there was great documentation on the ’60s and how hippies of days past have had to return to capitalism, effectively becoming “hippie-crits.”
Anyway, I chose not to purchase their granola or their hibiscus drinks, but I have to admit they did make for the most entertaining and photogenic group. And before I hear a word from any of you, let me just say that when I see white men with long hair, I assume they are straight and that I might have a chance with them. 😉
The women were the only comfortable ones there — those of us who showed up were in our standard trendy attire, and I’d sweated off my makeup within the first hour of arrival. Of course, one day I am going to realize that wearing black on a hot summer’s day is just plain stupid!
I befriended some gals from North Carolina, who were presenters in the “Water Ways” section. Connie and Pam made some Youpon Tea and told the story of it. They will also be presenting on Friday. When they got on stage, they introduced themselves and me. The audience thought I was famous or something — people actually asked me who I was and how I knew them! (We had simply eaten some Haitian cuisine together and had a really good time talking!).
I tend to go to these shindigs to people-watch, but you could hear crickets shitting there yesterday, it was so quiet. But I did take a lot of requisite scenery shots, not the least of which was of an Andy Warhol-inspired panda at the Smithsonian Castle:
Here’s just a quick mid-festival shot that I took while I had Mom on my headset — it’s like she got to walk around the National Mall with me while she is still in Pittsburgh! I still think the Pittsburgh Arts Festival (in its heyday) was the best festival I ever attended (mmm, banana crepes), and I miss going to these things with Mom, but I take her along whenever I can, even if it’s only via cell phone.
I’ll spare you the rest of my shots, but this one I found funny because it describes my workplace so much more than adequately, how people have it good and get lazy. The text blurred when I converted the images to RGB, but suffice it to say that my workplace, like Rome, will fall because when times were good, everyone got to sit back and enjoy and be spoiled. And that bred insolent little shits who like to sit on their fat asses and get richer as the company — or, in Rome’s case, the city — fails.
Speaking of work, during my hour-and-a-half performance review, my supervisor had a giant thing hanging out of her nose. I tried hard to give her the signals to wipe her snout, but all I managed to do was wipe off all my makeup and have a very red nose by the time I left. *sigh* How can you take anyone seriously when they’re criticizing you and they’ve got a big ol’ booger doing the mambo on their face?!?!
On iTunes: Melissa Etheridge featuring Jewel, “You Can Sleep While I Drive (Live)”