Caterwauling

OK, so after two days of driving around lost, I finally found Kinko’s at some plaza in Bailey’s Crossroads. Whee.

The problem? Forty fucking cents a minute is being sapped away as I hunt and click and sigh, only to find that they do not have Adobe Acrobat.

Duh, it’s a free program. Why the hell don’t they have it?

I have been procrastinating in doing some legal paperwork because I couldn’t print it out. I’ve also missed some opportunities to promote myself because I have two non-functioning printers in my living room/office.

So, I bought my own damn printer at Best Buy. Yay. Because it’s always wise to max out one’s last credit card when there is no foreseeable income on the horizon. For the past 25 minutes, I have been repeating to myself, “It is an investment. It is a tax write-off. It is a necessity. Damn it.”

Although, admittedly, I’ve said, “Damn it,” more than anything. 🙂

I’ve spent a lot of time in Kinko’s — between Oregon, Pittsburgh and D.C., I’m sure I’ve wasted enough minutes looking for applications they don’t have (or don’t have the latest version of and therefore I couldn’t open documents and had to run back and re-save them as earlier versions) to catch up on my past-due car payment. And please don’t expect assistance in there — especially when I am the idiot who is fine with plunking down the higher cost to sit at the Mac G4 or G5 — because the only answer you will get is, “Well, the server is online. I don’t know why you’re having problems.”

Oh, that’s another complaint (specific to the Oregon stores) — after you’ve run home and re-saved your document into a format the machine will understand, you pop it open and voila! The server is offline and won’t print. So you sit there till it comes online, because if you take your credit card out of the terminal, you won’t KNOW when the thing is back online.

Oh but wait, there’s more. I’ve been to the Old Town Alexandria location, and well, what a treat that was. I wanted to print, but when I hit print, the document went to the corporate site for processing. Great. So I had to ask where to send it and then I had to wait till it processed (I was printing from a disk — all edits were done at home and all I wanted to do was skim over the final product before logging off). Well, let me just say I had paid $2 up-front to use the machine. So, in addition to my wait time, I got a pop-up message every 15 seconds to remind me that my time was running out. All told, after I added more and more money to the pre-paid card, it was a $10 endeavor to print my four-sentence resignation letter.

Bah.

I also get kind of upset that, in many stores (Monroeville, Pa., *cough cough*), the cost to use the Mac is double the cost to use a PC. But, in my estimation, you couldn’t pay ME to use the PC, and frankly, I’m so quick on the Mac that I can do in 10 minutes ($4 for those playing at home) what I can do in 20 minutes on a PC.

Anyway.

I’m going to try to get over my concussion and finish setting up my new printer that I can’t afford. 🙂 It’s going under the desk, and I keep bonking my head off the keyboard shelf. But that’s nothing compared to the temptation I had at Kinko’s to hang myself with a mouse cord. …

On iTunes: Juice Newton, “Angel of the Morning”

Because Bill asked, I wanted to let everyone know that I’ve been smoke-free for more than a month now! Yay!!! My official quit date was Sept. 20. I did try to sneak one hit, though, a couple of weeks ago. *retch* It was awful.

That’s not to say that I don’t feel naked without a cigarette in my hand. I used to love my morning coffee and my evening cocktails with a Camel Light or 10. Now, I drink the coffee just for its caffeine, and I can’t even tell you how much I don’t even want to touch alcohol because it’s like milk without the cookies, the sex without the lube, the pirate without the wench.

Damn it, I’m turning into a goody two shoes!!!! 😉

Well, apparently, not good enough, though.

I do believe good things happen to good people. I’m just wondering if I’m that evil because I can’t find so much as a buoy to straddle when the current picks up. I need a ship to come in, and hopefully there will be a hot sailor on it! (Any takers? Going, going. …)

Actually, what I find weird is how I know I should be nervous, but I’m not (well, not enough, probably). There is every reason to fret, and no ship is even passing by the damn harbor. I keep going after opportunities (don’t think I’m sittin’ on my duff lookin’ pretty here), but I need just one to work out. One. Anything to keep me in motion.

Had a frustrating encounter the other day. Was at a busy intersection on King Street when I was approached by some volunteer collecting for homeless children. Now, when I was working, I would pull a few bucks out of the visor and contribute (I always kept a couple of emergency dollars on hand in case I ran out of gas while sitting in the incredible traffic ’round here — I miss those days of finding money!). But this time, I couldn’t. I wanted to say, hello, I’m about to be homeless and what are you doing for ME?!?! Can I get my earlier donations back?

But, alas, I was not that crude. But the guy really tried to goad me into finding money for the cause. I said look, I don’t have a job right now. Can’t do it. I could tell he really thought it was an excuse, and it’s sad if people really are giving those kinds of excuses to get out of supporting charitable work. And what people do not know about me off the bat is that I spent years upon years not only workng AT charities, but doing the fund-raising FOR them. If I can’t find a couple of bucks to hand over, believe me, then I’m in a financial crisis. Especially now that I’m saving like $100/month on cigarettes!

Anyway, when the guy looked at me and realized I was not lying (you can look at me and know if I’m being honest. My eyes will always give me away), he said, “Pray on it, then.”

My light changed, and I drove away. And I wondered if that really works. Let me insert that I am a happy agnostic who follows her spirit guides wherever they lead. Does that count? I’ve known people who are religious and/or spiritual, and they seem so content, like they know they will be taken care of if the just believe in something. And am I selfish if I only have enough strength to believe in me right now?

Oh, pseudo-related, if you haven’t picked up a copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You,” then you’re missing out on some brilliant insight into the straight male mind. I’ve always prided myself on thinking (and, sometimes behaving) like a guy, but oh my god, I don’t think I’m going to be able to trust anybody after I finish this book! (Alas, though, not like I really *did* trust them before it!) The truth HURTS. And that’s all I’m gonna say on THAT subject for now. … 😉

On iTunes: Sarah McLachlan, “World on Fire”