1. Ever notice how the only people who use the phrase “President Bush” were the ones who voted for him?
2. Of 17 turn signals I witnessed being used during the a.m. commute, 16 were used by me. The 17th? Some jackass who flipped on the “right” blinker and cut me off by merging “left.” Fucking asshat.
3. After months without it, I’ve had a faint sense of deja vu during the day. This is fantastic — it means I am in the right place at the right time. Which means my life will eventually be on track, right? Woo hoo?
4. Ever have a rantabulous diatribe just bubbling beneath the surface and know that if you so much as opened your mouth (or a “new blog” post), you will regret it? Or, worse, you don’t give a shit about potential reactions because you’re just fucking exhausted with always being the one who gets hurt and want to share the pain? While, in the long run, I am always glad to be the better person, sometimes I just want to kick ass, take names and let out a barbaric yawp.
5. Steelers loss = broken heart. The only thing I hate worse than the Patriots are their fans. (Minus you, Scott, of course!) HOW COULD YOU LOSE THE PLAYOFF GAME?!?!?!! I’d set fire to my “Go Pittsburgh” magnetic ribbon if the cold hadn’t soldered it to my back bumper!
On iTunes: Low Millions, “Eleanor”