Caterwauling

1. WHFS-FM is now a Spanish music channel. Hurrah. Not. Anyway, RIP HFS (and screw you, Infinity Broadcasting!), and please, DC-101, don’t go anywhere!

2. Hard times come easy: just when I think I have my life set up to be resolved, something else rears its head to keep the worrying at full tilt. I’m waiting to hear about my grandfather’s prognosis from a new illness he may have. And bless him, he kept quiet for four weeks because he felt like my problems were more important. *sigh*

3. My cousin had a baby girl this morning. Congratulations and hooray. She and I, as little girls, had made a pact that we were never going to have kids. Do I win this one? 😉

4. I hate when people expect you to cancel your plans to accommodate them. Really. I just love rearranging my schedule. I never used to be this way, but I really hope there’s something in this for me other than aggravation.

5. Speaking of aggravation, tell me why, despite the fact that 90 percent of the District of Columbia did NOT vote for the presidential incumbent, we have to pay $17 million when the circus comes to town next week? And from the homeland security budget, no less?!?! Get creative and fundraise, you smug SOB. Those are funds better spent on the tsunami victims or on, gee, protecting the citizens of D.C. instead of one person in particular. Grrr.

6. In better news, I came out to my car last night to find a note on the windshield. Before I could curse and swear because I figured someone might have hit me, the note contained a compliment. Hah! It said, “I LOVE your bumper sticker!” Whew. 😉

7. Got this from a trusted source: Do NOT use Hartz products for your cats. I’ve used these products in the past and had no problems, but kitties are getting sick from the flea & tick line, so cat owners, please educate yourself on this one. My girls are too precious to me to not at least give this a read!

On iTunes: Crystal Method, “Caterpillar”

LeeAnn challenged us to take the first sentence of our first post of each month in 2004. This is bittersweet, because it involves reading things I archived that have been too painful to look at in quite some time. This does NOT include my “draft” (private) entries that never made it into the blogosphere.

January:
B and P have invited us over later for the traditional pork festival — of course, they had their own little pork festival in my bathroom shortly after midnight — damn it, I can’t believe I wasn’t the first person to have sex (with a partner, let’s make that clear!) in my own apartment!!!

February:
I am not publishing that idiot’s submissions until Satan becomes editor of The Pearly Gate Times.

March:
P and B invited me to dinner last night — they had something special to ask me: they are planning a marriage ceremony for May 15, and B asked me to be the maid of honor. *sniff*

April:
You know that when four cows are grazing on the runway that you’re about to land on at (unnamed airport), you’re not exactly entering a booming metropolis.

May:
My rambunctious kitten Kadi tore out the screen door to the balcony so she could get a tan on the balcony while I was out this afternoon, so the little shit is sitting in her cage right now so that I can keep the door open until I get a new screen, whenever the apartment management decides that will happen.

June:
I have absolutely nothing to say today.

July:
Did the Smithsonian Folklife Festival yesterday.

August:
Speeding tickets, titty bars and injuries: how I will remember A’s 29th birthday.

September:
Sometimes, you just have to stand still for a moment and let the wind pick you up and carry you to your next destination.

October:
Not much to say other than that I am home, and home is in fact Washington, D.C. … not for lack of other offers.

November:
23 miles in 11 minutes:. that’s how fast I drove today from Fairfax City to my abode when my apartment management called to inform me that my younger cat Kadi was loose.

December:
If only more people were this cognizant of what they have and what it’s like for those with so much less.

Author’s note: That sums it up pretty well. Calamities and cat antics. 😉 How was YOUR year?

On iTunes: Ani DiFranco, “When Doves Cry”

It is a nice idea to give people an AMC gift card. I have one, so I’ve been enjoying a few “free” flicks to get me out of the house.

That said, I’m SO glad I wasn’t the one who paid for my ticket to see “White Noise.” It made “Spanglish” (which I saw a few days ago) seem like cinematic genius in comparison.

I admit I liked most of “White Noise.” Michael Keaton grew up in Pittsburgh (as did I, for the unfamiliar), so by default I am a fan of his. 🙂 Story was good. I picked it based on the fact that I wonder how much in my head is just garbage as opposed to vibes that I should really be picking up on. After that film, I will gladly never try to contact anyone who has passed! The story is fairly realistic, which I like and that’s why it scared the shit out of me at times. 🙂 Although, this reminds me why I need to stick to drama and comedy and the occasional romance story — they’re way easier on the nerves! It was compelling. Gotta give them that. I’m not here to debate whether EVP is real or not, but it’s possible in my mind, and I think I’m going to spend less time watching my non-cable-enabled TV because the sight of snow will probably send me into horrific convulsions now. 🙂

The end leaves you hanging by a noose. It was probably the only way it could end (*cough cough I smell a sequel cough cough*). The couple next to me exclaimed, “That’s it?!?!” while I ever-so-eloquently blurted out, “What the fuck?” I mean, “Closer” had a strange ending, but it somehow seemed appropriate — you were kind of left in a lurch because you knew that, even if that movie went on for another eight hours, the characters still wouldn’t have resolved their lives. The film editor simply just had to cut the head off of the beast and let it die. With “White Noise,” I got the feeling that the writers were sick of writing and just said, “Stop. NOW!” and hence, the film ended.

That said, I’m cutting off the head of this entry, ’cause I am not one to kiss see a movie and tell any more details than are overly necessary. 😉

Oh, but wait
I just want to wave a finger at the moron who blocked my car into its spot at the theater. I parked at a corner. A 90 degree angle that is filled with grass (not THAT kind) and cars park opposite each other. I was happily snug in my spot when I had this overwhelming urge to, gee I don’t know, go home. 🙂 The idiot who was parked perpendicularly to me saw fit not to pull his car into his spot the whole way. So I dented it. 🙂 He even ran out to the car as I was trying valiantly to wriggle out of that spot without murdering any innocent fenders (because, alas, they would come to haunt me through my TV set tonight). He fiddled in the car and never moved it. I was calling out, “Are you INSANE? MOVE IT!” in my ever-so-patient Dawn kind of way. He moved, all right. He ran back to the theater. Apparently I should have clarified that I meant to move the car, not his ass.

I really didn’t dent it. I’d call it a love tap. I did dent somebody’s car whilst backing up, shortly before Christmas. You know, because I was already more than halfway outta the spot and the genius bitch decided to drive on the wrong side of the road and not stop for me. The insurance company said it was my fault because my anus lacks eyeballs. So, if I tend to get mad at other drives because they are assholes, realize it is because my insurance premiums rise because they don’t know how to operate their vehicles and get in my fucking way. They should know better! 😛

On iTunes: D.J. Ricey, “Castles in the Sky”

I was listening to the song listed at the bottom of this entry as I drove the GW Parkway today. I had the sunroof open (because it’s 65 degrees in D.C. in January. Hah!) and the CD player cranked up. I was probably going 85 mph when I realized I was in a “40” zone. Whoops!

The lyrics aren’t poetic genius, but they’re raw enough that I identified with them.

“I can’t explain
What it’s like not knowing if I’ll ever cross your mind
Today was that day
It was that time
And that was all that she wrote for me
You fell away
I don’t know why
And that was all that she wrote for me.”

And I was kind of annoyed at what even went through my head, but sometimes, you just can’t stop these things. It’s ridiculous how we idolize people who either couldn’t give us the time of day or who left before the sunset. Premature evacuation, as it were.

The thing is, I don’t know that I’ve ever had a “real” relationship in my life. I’ve gone through droughts and then dated a bunch of people at once, almost making up for the downtime (my friend Shan calls it “building the perfect man” — date a bunch and get a quality you need from all of them). And, inevitably, my heart always belonged to the one who didn’t want it, yet there was always someone practically tap-dancing just to get a moment of my time. The vicious circle of heartache, indeed.

But what’s odd about the person who popped into my mind today was that I KNOW something was happening for both of us. Rather, I knew. Don’t ask me how I knew — I just did. And for a moment today, I was angry at myself for writing it off so easily … for doing my usual, “Well, it wasn’t meant to be” blase bullshit that I always say when I don’t get something I want. I will not beg, force or otherwise coerce someone into my corner. Fuck ’em for not being bright enough in the first place to realize that I can be everything and more. Fuck ’em for not hanging in there to be everything and more to me.

In any event, I’m over it. Really. I guess I just had a meltdown moment because, as the song was playing in the car, I saw him. Or, rather, someone who drove what he drove … someone who was tailgating me (even though I was very much exceeding the speed limit!). My breath caught in my throat, my heart palpitated and I almost drove straight into the Potomac River, wondering if I’d unconsciously wished for him and there he suddenly was in my rearview mirror.

And, even though it wasn’t really him on the parkway, he in fact remains in the rearview mirror. Today, it hurt to look back. And wishing for him never did bring him back, and I’ve had to be OK with it for quite some time now. Hell, I wouldn’t know what to do with him even if he were around — that ship sailed a long time ago. We crossed paths for as long as we needed to. No hard feelings … at least, none I wish to admit to. 🙂

And that, my friends, is all she wrote and all she will write on this one!

On iTunes: Default, “All She Wrote”

I had the utmost joy of having to go to some ratbag clinic and give a “specimen” today. I swear, these lab workers go out of their way to make you feel like a criminal or, at least, supremely uncomfortable.

Knowing I would have to, um, *produce* on the spot, I drank a lot of coffee during my drive there. And I got lost (why god WHY don’t you people have street signs? Do I always have to rely on intuition and/or psychic ability?), truly intensifying the need to give the specimen as quickly as possible. Sheesh. 🙂 I will spare details, but I believe my eyes were the shade of a Post-It Note by the time I had to wait AN HOUR once I signed in.

The last time I had to do one of these tests, I got a result I did not like one bit. But alas, I’ve not had any activity that would result in *that* kind of positive. Today’s adventure was a tox screen, and given that the only “pot” I’ve seen in a long time was full of Godiva vanilla hazlenut this morning. 😉

Well, I have an appointment in three minutes, so hooray for timing working out fairly well today — and this despite sitting on 395 because two of the lanes were closed. Ah, the joy never ends begins! 🙂

On iTunes: Remy Zero, “Save Me”

List swiped from the enchanting Serenity.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you’d never done before?
Quit a job without having a backup plan. Silly girl. 😉

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I wouldn’t call them resolutions so much as promises to myself that I will get things “right” this time around in my life. I’ve had lots of time to ponder and examine every aspect of my life, and while I did a lot right, I got some stuff wrong. Now is my chance to fix those things. And I will.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but expect some news on that front in 2005! 😉 (And no, it will NOT be me!)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope. Score one positive note for 2004!

5. What countries did you visit?
Never set foot outta the United States. But I have my passport application filled out and ready to send in, just in case I get an offer!

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Money. Never realized how dependent we are on it. Ugh.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I quit smoking on Sept. 21. I entered my third decade this year, too (May 25). I also took my first long vacation (Sept. 21). The year was a wash otherwise. 😉

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I found that I can hold my head high and make the honorable decision/action even when I am falling apart inside. I possessed the ability to make the choice that was best for everybody concerned, and it took until 2005, but the decision was validated by the “right” sequence of events being completed.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failure is as ugly a word as “frugal.” 🙂 I succumbed to feeling like a failure. I’ve never quite felt that way before and hated it but couldn’t stop it. I hit rock bottom on Thanksgiving and pulled out the cutlery and pondered the consequences of using it creatively. Of course, I put the shiny objects back where I found them, but that was my low.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I’d suppose you’d call it anxiety. But it’s easing its grip on me.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I got a new computer. I’d venture that it saved my life on many an occasion. I’d also bought a scanner and a wireless router, but I had to sell them (and a printer and a ZIP drive) on eBay for survival money, at a fraction of the cost. Fucking wretched year. 🙁

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mom, unquestionably. And Shan. And my grandfather. Talk about the blind leading the blind sometimes, but they wouldn’t let me give up the fight for anything. They pointed out how I can’t be strong for myself and everybody else all the time, so they could be strong for me. And my victories are just as much theirs as my own. I love the positive vibes I get from all of them!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Dubya and a slew of others closer to home who I don’t wish to mention. Let’s just say that you find out who your friends are/n’t when things get tough.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Old Navy. Damn it. 🙂

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The end of 2004.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
“1985” by Bowling for Soup. Thank you for making me nostalgic at my young age!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder
b) thinner or fatter? The latter (hey, it rhymes!). Damn carbs.
c) richer or poorer? POORER

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I did what I could with what I had. No regrets there. I do wish I’d saved money, though.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I’d say worrying, but it was unavoidable. I wish I’d shot my mouth off less.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
In ’05? With family. The way it should be. Christmas was sad and quiet and uneventful this year. I don’t want it to be that way ever again.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Um, yes. I guess. 🙂 But it was ephemeral and I’m hiring now!

22. How many one-night stands?
Hee hee. Did they have to involve a partner? (Just kidding!)

23. What was your favorite TV program?
I got rid of cable, so I hate TV now. I loved, though, “Dead Like Me” and “The L Word” and “Six Feet Under.” In ’05, I am totally digging “Medium.”

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I hate to sound saintly, but I’ve released my anger and hurt toward those who caused it (whether intentionally or inadvertently). I do have some residual waves of disgust when I hear about all the good things they are doing because it was something I suggested, but god forbid they could have treated me well when they had the opportunity. *sigh* My wish is that they don’t hurt/disappoint/belittle others the way they did with me, because it’s hard to shrug off such personal assaults.

25. What was the best book you read?
I’m such a damn sap. “The Notebook” and “Message in a Bottle,” both by Nicholas Sparks. This year, though, I’m finally going to work on getting through my Anais Nin anthologies. 🙂

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Melissa Ferrick. And the “Garden State” soundtrack.

27. What did you want and get?
Liberation. Wisdom. Insight. Peace. Power.

28. What did you want and not get?
I was after somebody’s heart and that failed miserably. Oh well. Next life, maybe! Girls shouldn’t chase guys. Plain and simple. No more of that crap!

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
“Closer.”

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30 and spent it with my best friend Shan. I had nothing going on, but she made sure I had a great dinner, a party and presents. Birthdays have always brought about a touch of depression in my world, and she was having none of it. We went shopping and I found THE dream dress of my life. And it was on sale! I’d been watching for it to go on sale for weeks! I decided I want to wear it to the Kennedy Center or something fabulous like that. Needless to say, the dress has been hanging in the closet with a bag over it and the tags on it since then, but still. A girl needs to own something fabulous in case an event arises!

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A new president

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Trendy, but on the cheap. I spend lots of money on clothes and shoes, but I buy the knockoff versions so that I can have twice as many. This year, I’m going to start dressing for my age. Ugh!

33. What kept you sane?
Bon Jovi songs. No fucking kidding on that one. And a new vibrator, sent to me accidentally, but hell if I was going to return it!

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Zach Braff

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Women’s issues and the standard assault on our bodies. I ask you to go read Suzy’s brilliant post on the assholitry of the Virginia legislature in regard to wanting women to report their miscarriages to the authorities when they happen. And then let’s all write to the fuckballs who propose this shit. GRRRRR!!!

36. Who did you miss?
I want my mommy, damn it! I miss Shan and Alex (on the West Coast) and my mom and grandfather (up north). I also miss someone who lives nearby, even though nothing really happened for communication to cease. Our time to know each other has simply passed, and we ask mutual friends how the other is doing and we genuinely hope the other is happy. He gave me all he had to give and I took the lessons he needed to teach me. He will always have a place in my heart and a part of me will always love him in my weird little way. 🙂

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I’m lucky to get to meet many blogfriends in person. In this case, I’d say Ted and Pratt were the most awesome new additions to my circle of “real” friends! I also count John in that group, although we haven’t met (yet!).

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
Where to begin? Strength comes from unexpected places. People in general are kind and want to help when/if they can, so it is OK to take some alone time but to come out of isolation on occasion. Some people go away when things get rough, but pay attention to those who stay or arise when fallow times have hit hard. Also pay attention to who goes away until the hard times have passed. Live every minute like it’s your last — happiness is so fleeting and it’s easy to miss good moments when you’re steaming about bad ones. Nice guys do finish last — things don’t always happen how or when you want them to, but they happen the way they need to. Cherish what you have, but also limit it to what you need. Experiences are more important than possessions. A rainy day fund for when times get tough doesn’t hurt either. Store up your energy for when you really need it and don’t waste it on those who won’t give you the same in return.

You know what else I got out of this whole ordeal? A love for myself. My sides of my conscious have been at war forever — the voices of “you suck” often drown out the “you rock.” But I do, in fact, rock. Don’t let certain negative events define you. They are ephemeral. In my case, those moments had very long-term, horrific consequences, but their time has come (finally!) to pass, and I’m still left with who I was and who I hope to become. Time to shed the skin that I’ve outgrown and fill the shoes that will take me through the next miles along my journey.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“It was a beautiful letdown.” (Switchfoot, “The Beautiful Letdown”)

“There’s beauty in the breakdown.” (Frou Frou, “Let Go”)

On iTunes: Daniel Bedingfield, “I Gotta Get Through This”

I have lost bits and pieces of myself over time, and the one thing I regret losing was my quality writing time. I used to love blogging and getting comments (and I still do, of course!), but every time I blogged during the past few months, know that I had forced myself to make a showing. It’s not that I had anything insightful to share; quite the contrary. And I want to thank everyone for the loads of “fan mail” that has poured in during the past few days — it astounds me that not only do you care about some of the drivel posted here, but you also really want to know what it is that I am not posting. Wow!

Today, I awakened with an odd feeling — I wanted to blog! Clearly, from the minimal coherence of this post, y’all are saying, “Go back to bed, Shakespeare. It ain’t a heavy-flow (creative) day, is it now?” I feel a bit rusty, even though I’ve been quite happily immersed in e-mail (sometimes). I have thousands of thoughts that I can’t even begin to organize at this point, but I’m sure things will reveal themselves in time. Especially when I get access control on my blogposts and only registered users will be able to see what I’m up to. 😉

In any event, I’m making plans again. I guess I always was, but I do it with a bit of lightness in my heart. But there has been a great deal of innocence lost, and it’s not the first time. Back in 2001, I learned that I wasn’t immune to bad things happening. And that shook me to my core, because it killed me that my decisions weren’t the right ones. But maybe they were. And that’s what I’m thinking now. I had a few “What the fucking bloody hell?” moments, of course, but I never stopped long enough to entertain them. Days are journeys. Sometimes you want to sleep through them, but then you make no progress. And sometimes, you travel round-the-clock and end up square in the same spot you’d wanted so badly to leave behind. Other times, you put out your thumb and somebody gives you a lift to, if not your next destination, at least to the signpost that will lead you toward it. And from there, it’s up to you to make it seem like “I meant to do that!” And, in time, you will know that this was exactly where you were meant to be, even if you didn’t know it at the time.

The world keeps turning, sometimes despite you and other times for you. And it’s all we can do to keep from falling off the axis. But that just makes us understand and appreciate it more when we get back into orbit.

On iTunes: Bruce Springsteen, “Thunder Road”

I don’t do well with uncertainty. I used to, though. I used to love wondering what might happen and envision things that would make me happy. But then life took a turn that left me just hoping for some type of resolution, either way.

And that resolution, after nearly half a year, has arrived. And something happened to me — I became myself again. But a better version of it.

Lately, people have commented on how there has been no life in my voice, how my handwriting looks like my fist was clenched around the pen (I used to have calligraphy-inspired penmanship; now I print in tiny letters), how the light has gone out of my eyes and the dreams have seemingly escaped from my field of vision. Hence, when you wonder why I’ve gone away from the blog for weeks on end, it’s because I know that “Dawn,” as she were, was on hiatus and seemingly awaiting cancellation of her successful run (like those bastards at Showtime did with “Dead Like Me” — fuckers!).

Ahem.

In any event, I’ve had a challenging time finding inner strength and peace. And I’ve wondered if that was because I never really had any in the first place. But I figured I’d recognize it when I saw it. And I did.

I envy my mom because she’s got the psychic gift. So did my grandmother. On occasion, when Mom is worried about something (e.g., me), she will get ready for bed and ask to see a vision that night. And she always does. And she’s usually dead-on about it.

I do not necessarily possess this gift — not the way she does. My sixth sense is rooted more in intution, in deja vu, in unexpected waking visions. When I dream about something at night, the opposite always happens. For instance, on the same night, Mom and I both asked to see visions. She dreamed that I got exactly what I was wishing for. I dreamed that I was on stage with Jon Bon Jovi, sitting at his feet as he played acoustic guitar. I liked my dream better, truth be told. 😉 But hers is the one that came true, and that’s the one I needed to happen.

So maybe I’m not the slightest bit psychic. But that’s OK. I have logic on my side. I have seen for many weeks now the puzzle pieces struggling to come together. I employed a little bit of creative visualization and tried my best to will things to happen the way they needed to. Now, I’m no proponent of changing the course of the universe, but sometimes, you’ve got to help speed the pace of it in any way you can. Failing that, keeping your mind occupied when you’re otherwise about to go batshit crazy isn’t a bad thing, either. 😉 I wear my lucky stones and rub my crystals for luck and try my very best to immerse myself in visions that I *want* to happen. And then I call Mom and ask her what her gut is telling her, and I cope accordingly.

Life has been out of control for so long. Forces have been working against me. But what surprised me was how many forces were supporting me, carrying me, pushing me. It reminds me of when I was in the hospital not long ago with a serious illness. I didn’t have the strength to do anything but try to get well. It took the good thoughts and well wishes of the people in my life to hope for the best and ask for miracles when I could barely get through a day. This time in my life has been no different. Keeping myself alive and somewhat functioning has been my challenge. Worrying about me was everyone else’s. And I hate it when people worry about me, but I couldn’t turn down any good ju-ju that was coming my way, could I now? 😉

I was pleased that, yesterday, I had the opportunity to be there for some friends who were entering into their own emotionally fallow times. Earlier, someone had thoughtfully pointed out to me how much my voice had changed — how I was light with laughter and hope and promise and vitality again. What a change from before! The lesson I’ve learned in everything is that sequestering oneself is a necessary evil sometimes, but the very people you may be afraid to talk to may very well be the people holding the puzzle pieces that you just couldn’t find on your own — puzzle pieces that they didn’t even realize were so valuable, because maybe those connecting pieces weren’t right for them but were definitely useful to you.

I’ve always hoped said that the universe provides. And it doesn’t do so right away, rather doing it instead when it’s right. And we have to give back, too … which I will do willingly.

On iTunes: Live, “Heaven”

Could this day GET any better? 😉

On iTunes: Black Lab, “Wash It Away”

OK, so I’m a few days late, but Happy 2005! Screw that last year. Bury it. Forget about it. Gone. Buh-bye. Like Mom says, don’t ever look back; you can only go forward. And like Sandra Bullock says in “Hope Floats,” “Don’t look back. It’s bad luck.”

Thanks for all the holiday wishes, whether in the comments, on the voice mail, etc. I’ve been on a bit of a spiritual odyssey, and the blogcation’s not quite over yet, but I wanted to check in and say howdy. If I don’t answer, chances are A) I wasn’t near a computer and B) when I need my alone time, I take it without fanfare.

In any event, I start this year as a different person on a different path. Unfortunately, I’m bringing along some of last year’s luggage, but I’m traveling light — as years pass, we simply just have to leave some really old things behind or our backs will collapse under the weight of what we’ve acquired since. I’ve finally dealt with some things from long, long ago so that I could confront more recent demons. And I’d hardly say I’ve conquered them all (or at all, for that matter), but I’ve rested up a bit and regained the strength I lost about five years ago. It’s been difficult, this running on empty.

If you do nothing else for yourself this new year, take some time for you. My biggest mistake (and I know this now) is that I have pushed and pushed myself beyond my limits. And sure, I accomplished great things, but at what expense? I couldn’t enjoy them; in fact, I resented them. When what you loved most becomes the thing you come to dread, do yourself a big favor and reprioritize. When giving your energy to your labor of love, don’t lose the love part. It’s really hard to get it back once it’s gone. Believe me, I know.

So anyway, go kick some ass this year. Because you have no choice. And neither do I. 😉

On iTunes: Leeann Rimes, “Leaving’s Not Leaving”