I’d thought I’d spewed vitriol about every driving transgression committed by the captial area’s drivers. I’d truly believed I’d run out of pet peeves.
Then I got stuck on the GW Parkway again this morning and witnessed assholitry so high and holy that I heard hell’s bells ringing.
A car had overturned on the GW northbound (huge, gnarly accident), so we were inching along. Fine, no big deal — was already late for work as it were. As you might remember from some of my earlier rants, it’s a two-lane road, so when emergency personnel need to squeak through, we all pull up on curbs to free up space in center of the highway. Fine, good, whatever.
But THEN, my otherwise-calm blood fired up into a BOIL.
Four cars — civilians, mind you — coattailed the ambulance, fire truck and cop cars! They saw an opportunity to speed ahead of the decent citizens on the road. That nitwit Bob Geldof had ranted about how evil eBay was when people were selling their free Live 8 tickets as “profiteering on the backs of the impoverished” — well, this was the highway version.
(And as an aside, I’m sure the Live 8 was a lovely concept and a wonderful concert, but let’s figure out how to end poverty, joblessness and the lack of health insurance for our OWN citizens before we go saving the world, mmmkay? When I didn’t have a job, every single government agency to which I applied told me to prepare to be homeless ’cause they weren’t gonna help, and believe me, I was applying/interviewing for jobs like a madwoman but being told repeatedly that I was overqualified. And I really lucked out to get a GREAT job for which my qualifications actually came in handy. Anyway, your government doesn’t give a shit about you so we need to fix our system ourselves. Saddam fucking Hussein gets more from Uncle Sam than YOU ever will, trust me. But I digress.)
Anyway, I apparently have a death wish, ’cause I saw the non-emergency respondents trying to fly through the parted traffic … and I FLOORED it back into my lane proper. I am not shitting you when I say I almost got wiped straight into the guardrail to my left by a (what else?) Lexus SUV when I took my rightful place in traffic.
The good news? The four offending cars had to stop BEHIND ME. HAH!!!
Nothing fills me with more glee than ruining an asshole’s day and living to tell about it. 😉
On iTunes: Paul Oakenfold, “Ascension “Someone” (Slacker Mix)”