Today was “emergency retail therapy day” in my world. That, and “let’s rearrange the furniture.” Coping mechanisms, friends.
Anyway, I was in a major store and an employee came over the loudspeaker. She mistakenly said, “Attention customers” and had to amend it to “Attention staff.” She went on to say that there was a Code 99 in one of the departments and that she needed a team to respond. A few minutes later, she repeated her page.
A few more minutes went by before she got back on and said, “Come on, people. Code 99! (*heavy sigh*) Orange shirt, blue shorts — GO!!!”
I had a mild moment of disorientation, as I was wearing a creamsicle-colored shirt and denim shorts, but alas, I wasn’t shoplifting anything, so I knew I was in the clear. But boy, was THAT weird — I saw some other customers looking at me strangely, not that I even had anything in my hands at that point!
The voice came on again to say that the “Code 99” had moved on to another department. I was tempted to run to that department and confuse people. 🙂
In any event, it was also “acquire scandalous underwear day.” And speaking of inept store workers, I’d commented on them (I can’t quite remember the adjective) and the girl had said, “That’s not a word I hear used every day.” I looked at her strangely and said, “Well, I’d thought it was infinitely more appropriate than ‘Gee, these are going to look GREAT on the bedroom floor!'”
That’s how you buy underwear, in my world. Throw it on the floor and admire it. If it looks good there, it gets to go home with you. And only you are the one who knows whether someone else is going to be the one to put it there! 😉
On iTunes: Green Day, “Holiday”