… blowing through my life again …
Trapped in traffic last night, I stopped at a mall to waste some time. I was wandering around, yapping on the cell phone, when I saw someone who looked exactly like someone I knew, once upon a time.
I don’t like to hold on to the past. Thus, I hate it even worse when it creeps up on me. Because I am not that person anymore. Not to say that the “old” Dawn wasn’t a good person who was fun and lighthearted and introspective — the “new” Dawn is all of that with a heaping side of neuroses yet minus the dumb, impulsive shenanigans.
But it’s like how when you become a nonsmoker — you simply cannot be around smokers … not for a long while, anyway. The first year, the temptation to pick up a cigarette is downright overpowering. Thus, you stay out of bars and, sadly, perhaps find excuses not to hang out with your smoking friends in social environments. Then after a year has passed, it’s a “filthy, disgusting habit” that you can’t imagine that you used to partake of.
That said, I wrote an imaginary letter to this vision from the past:
Dear M—,
I can’t count the years that have passed since I’ve seen your face — I can’t even remember what you look like anymore, save for the one photo of you that I ever possessed, which I lost a few years ago. That, I had memorized. That is the image that comes to my mind when I think about you.
And so, I swore I saw you last night. Read the rest of this entry »