Caterwauling

I’ve spent the day feeling drained because, as I said in the previous entry, it was somewhat of a sleepless night without knowing where Kadi was. The only thing that kept me going through the day was the residual euphoria of finding her curled in a ball in the basement of a neighboring apartment building.

When I saw her, she was all eyes. I had called her name — hell, I had BEEN in that spot hours before — and she didn’t and wouldn’t answer me. I whispered, “Is that really you?” And she held my gaze, like, “What took you so long, Mommy?”

I’ve spent the better part of the past 24 hours between feeling triumphant for finding my runaway cat and feeling like a complete fuckup for “losing” her in the first place … or, at least for not finding her sooner.

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Apparently my Kadi isWAS missing. (UPDATE: I found her! I found my baby! Am. Never. Letting. Her. Out. of. My. Sight.) Now, she goes into hiding sometimes, sure, but I haven’t seen her since yesterday evening. I’ve checked everywhere in the house, and she’s usually good about coming when I call her.

I’m terrified that she jumped off the balcony when I let the girls out for a couple hours yesterday evening. Now, in three years, she’s never done anything like that, but I’m out of ideas. She’s an indoor cat, so I’m worried about her survival skills. Not to mention that we’re in an urban area with cars and rails and *oh god* where is imy Kadi?!?!

Maddie seems like she’s waiting on the balcony for her. I walked the neighborhood at the crack o’moi today but it’s a strange area to me, too, full of places to hide and strangers who don’t love her the way I do.

Come back, Kadibug. I need to hug you.