Caterwauling

I use a lot of Web sites in an average day in my work. Anyone eavesdropping on my Internet usage would think I’m fucking around most of the day, because I have a lot of bizarro searches and get led into the weird abyss of all the juicy goodness that is out there for people in my field. And don’t ask, but I had to look up freaking Jennifer Lopez today for an honest-to-goodness professional reason!

But the fun part is when I couldn’t find something I needed on a dictionary site. I knew the definition of the word I was looking up but I often misspell it on first attempt. So I wrote in to the site and said my god, why on earth do you not define what I think is an oft-used phrase in my world? They wrote back and said, hey, we agree. We’ll define it for ya. Thanks for playing.

I figured it was a very nice response and that would be the end of it. But today, I was drafting up something for Monday, and I briefly wondered about that damn word. And I thought, enh, I want to check and see if it’s added. And HOLY SHIT, it was! I was responsible for the addition of something to a Web site about stuff I didn’t even understand just a year and a half ago. My boss would be so proud. Or maybe not as impressed with me as I happen to be right now. Whichever. 😉 In any event, that’s how little it actually takes to make my day!

Today’s horoscope from Astrocenter.com rang true not just for me as a Gemini, but for anyone:

Remember that those who matter would rather have you enjoying life than tiring yourself out for their sake.

I spent yesterday feeling sick. It was emotionally based but it manifested itself into physical symptoms. I woke up today, still with a residual dull headache, and said “No More.”

Today I made up songs and danced with my cats as a chapter of my existence drew to a close. Today I made up my mind to just roll with the punches right now. Today I looked at vacation packages to places I could never afford or even consider because I need something more to aspire toward.

Today I realized that I’m not in this forever — not any situation, and especially not this life. I get mad that the days don’t seem to count. When they slip away, they evaporate. You don’t get this energy, this health, this time back. I’ve got to take it back in any way I can, or at least reclaim the territory wherever possible.

Today I decided that I’m not going to sparkle and shine *for* them or maybe even once in awhile *because* of them; rather, I’m going to shine *despite* them.

Who’s this mysterious “them”? The things that I use as an excuse for giving up what I want. For me, it’s never been a matter of not knowing what I want — instead, it’s been a situation of putting things on the proverbial back burner until they boil over and evaporate till they no longer exist.

I’d trade everything I have for what I really want. So why the hell haven’t I, and why not start now?

And I still don’t know what I’m going to wear!

As I don’t even know where to find a newspaper in my new neighborhood, my friends have to tell me when they make the top billing in the Post Express. Thank goodness for the Internet:

Awwww. ….

Congratulations! See, there *are* good guys to be found on the Internet. There’s hope for the rest of us yet, seeing as though Newsweek has amended its earlier assertion and discovered that women of a certain age actually have a better chance of getting married than being killed by a terrorist, not the other way around as we were led to believe. One can only hope to be counted into the revised “good” percentage someday. 😉