Caterwauling

Random theater. Dim the lights.

Read the rest of this entry »

OK, so I get a call from this headhunter firm that was apparently trying to get in touch with me all the way back to that horrible half-year when I wasn’t working. (Um, OK. I would have like answered the call, I’d think.) And they have big, interesting job opportunities. Like, one in particular. In my old neighborhood, literally up the fucking street from my old apartment. And it sounds pretty darned good.

But it would have sounded better a long time ago. Not just because I lived right there, but well, I don’t hate where I’m at in life in general. I chose to move closer to my job because I really didn’t want to give it up for something closer by. I think the eviction notice came at just the right time — I took it as my one-way ticket out of town and far away from places and things that just no longer worked for me.

I know I’m not rolling in dough or anything (far from it), but when they asked my salary range and I said, “I wouldn’t leave for less than X,” with X being just around the corner, they said, “Oh.” As in, “Well, we were thinking of a number that’s at least 10 less than that.”

And I had a moment in which I wondered if their e-mail HAD gotten through to me way back when. I’d been dying inside, digesting myself over the lack of a career (not just lack of money — I’d lost my whole identity because work was all I had to define it). Where would I be now? I wouldn’t live in D.C. I wouldn’t love my apartment building. I wouldn’t have met so many people who are crucial to helping me get through the day-to-day drama. I might have been employed sooner than I was, but the things I would have missed out on? I wouldn’t have given them up for anything, knowing in hindsight how much I’d miss them if I didn’t have them to look forward to.

In any event, she had other opportunities and ideas, and I’m willing to hear her out. But just that. Because in this oddly jarring moment, I realized that it’s not comfort that keeps me where I am. It’s not laziness or fear of change. It’s that I want to be exactly right where I’m standing because, for whatever reason(s), it’s where I’m meant to be. …

OK, so it actually makes sense in my world that I’m only seen at work when I’m violating about five dress-code rules. But whatever, it’s ice cream day!

So anyway, I’d gone to fetch my treat with people who have the access card to get into my floor. But we all came back separately. And I got off the elevator and didn’t even think straight — I went up to the place where you touch your access card, only I did it with my damn ice cream treat (I call it a strawberry scooter crunch, but down here they call it strawberry shortcake). Sorry, access denied. LOL. Ice cream really CAN’T solve all your problems!!!

In other news, I have those stupid 100-calorie packs of snacks in my desk. This time around it’s the Cheetohs mini-balls. You know, I think they’re a great idea, these portioned packs. It’s just too bad to have the whole box nearby as they tend to serve as breakfast AND lunch. Then again, I know how many calories I’ve consumed in a day, and not a damned one of them has any nutritional value. 😉

And tonight, beer!

I just spent way too much money and had WAY too much fun buying birthday gifts for my nephew, who just turned 1, and my niece, who’s turning 3 next week. There went the new-dining-set fund, but seriously? SO worth it.

I look at these two and am hypnotized by The Cute:

Yeah, I know I missed the wee one’s birthday, but luckily he’s too young to know that I run on my own time zone. I like to think of it as he will have presents to open on his sister’s day. That’s always been important to me — when he was born, I made sure she had lots of cool stuff because all eyes weren’t on her anymore.

If/when/yeah right I get my slush fund re-established, I’m going to go visit them. And my friends in Seattle (you know who you are!). Maybe November/Decemberish. Yes, that is a nice goal to work toward. I’ve missed out on enough of these important people’s lives — time to rectify that. And it’ll give me another excuse to buy more presents! 😉