Caterwauling

(*not to exclude all the others who are having the door hit them where the good lord split ’em — I’m doing my Miss America wave behind all of you, especially you, Mr. Grinch Rumsfeld!)

Saw this in my inbox today from a beloved fellow liberal …

Captain O

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn.

Anyone who went to school in Pittsburgh probably knows Captain O, the face of The O (restaurant) in Oakland. In my day (and it wasn’t that long ago!) you could get $4 large pizzas that were not much more than cardboard with cheese, but when you were broke, nothing tasted better.

(Incidentally, Captain O reminds me of “Captain Condom,” about whom we saw movies in ninth-grade health classes.)

Anyway, I was never a fan of the hot dogs, but I used to think the burgers were out of this world. That is, until the D.C.-based Five Guys opened up right next door to The O in November ’05. 😉

The real reason to trek to The O was for the fries, as a “small” order was enough to feed four people. Crispy, greasy and bountiful — three of the six food groups of the average college student. (The other three being caffeine, cigarettes and alcohol.)

The joy for those of yinz who spent half your adolescence there as well was the vat o’ hot Cheez Wiz that you could order as a side. (It’s now $1.50 — they know how to make their money! I swear it used to cost a third of that.) And now, they’ve introduced gravy and Ranch dressing (*slobber*) as well.

I’d so kill for a fry right now. …

So I’ve been using a new body wash, Caress with Skin Brighteners.

It’s fine; it’s soap. I don’t stink; apparently, it works.

BUT …

I was wondering just in what way the skin gets brightened. Like, when you scrub your butt, does it glow? Is your hoo-ha like a night light, that when it’s covered by your scandalous underwear it sparkles, but it turns off when light is exposed to it?

Inquiring minds want to know.