Stop screwin’ with mah cycle

March 2nd, 2007, 5:06 PM by Goddess

I do not calendar my menses. Really, there’s no need, because in addition to our daily and weekly deadlines, we have monthly ones. And yes, my own female cycle has managed to coincide with my boys’ monthly copy cycles, so I know that as soon as I see our two monthly products, I need to go shopping for some monthly paper products of my own.

But boys, when y’all are late with your products, well, mine isn’t following suit. Translated, the copy I should have seen two days ago would have warned me A) to not wear beige pants today, and B) to have brought some girly supplies from home, as opposed to being surprised 15 minutes before an all-staff meeting and having to, ah, borrow some supplies.

In sum, love yas, but remind me of the original due date if you’re going to miss yours, so I don’t miss mine!!!



Shit streak

March 2nd, 2007, 7:29 AM by Goddess

My elder cat is on a shit streak lately. Not just the streaks she leaves after taking a dump in the box, but for three days straight, she’s shat anywhere BUT the box. Three nights ago, she shat in my shoes (they’re history), two nights ago she voided herself all over my apartment-hunting paperwork (applications I’ve collected and was CONSIDERING) and last night, she took a watery dump in the pants I wore to work yesterday.

Seriously, when I tell potential landlords that I have no pets, I am NOT joking — I ain’t taking this shit machine with me anymore!