Caterwauling

In which I gently remind myself that I am just another day older, although the calendar says it’s another year, yes, today we celebrate Goddess’ arrival into the mortal world.

We also celebrate the fact that her age is now a palindrome, although perhaps “celebrate” is the wrong word in this scenario. 😉

Usually I’m kind of blue on birthdays, or else I craft a to-do list for the next 40 years to help me to “catch up” to where I think I’m supposed to be. But right now, I’m just content to be where I am and to know that the universe has me standing here for a reason.

Don’t get me wrong — I have plenty of wishes for when I blow out my candles, but this year they’re simply for things I’d like instead of things I need. Or maybe I do need them but there’s the added bonus that they’re welcome whenever they arrive or decide to stay.

Besides, I always said 34 will be my year, so hey, I’m a year away from the blissful delight I’m anticipating. Of course, what’s wrong with enjoying the here and now?

And in that, there’s my birthday wish — to keep on having fun, and to continue to enjoy and even expand the circle in which I do just that.

Actual phone conversation:

Mom: Sorry to bother you, but did you want a birthday cake?
Me: No, but thanks
Mom: But you’ve got to have cake. It’s your birthday!
Me: I’m aware of that. But save the money; don’t need it. Thanks!
Mom: But how can I sing happy birthday if you don’t have a cake?
Me: Fine, then get a cake
Mom: You’re being mean. If you don’t want cake, just say so.
Me: That’s what I said, no?
Mom: I never see you on your birthdays. This is the first birthday I’ve spent with you in years. We need cake.
Me: Then order cake. Or don’t. Surprise me.
Mom: White cake with chocolate icing?
Me: Why did you bother even calling to ask when you had a plan all along?

Is it too much to ask for today to just simply go well and easily? I’m serious. I know there’s lots of stuff in the works and exciting new things to tackle, but I just want to be able to have my long holiday weekend be untainted by unfinished projects. Today I’m working on projects that were due yesterday and are due Monday. All I want is to take tomorrow off in peace. *crossing fingers, toes, eyes, ass cheeks, whatever it takes!*

Not only is Twitter failing me today, but then my Web site was down for a couple of hours. I need to EMOTE here, people!

I started being able to eat solid foods again yesterday — eight days after the food poisoning started. But now it comes to mind that this is more of some sort of bacterial problem. (Picking up strange bacteria? In Las Vegas? I’m sure that’s NEVER happened to ANYONE!) Which, yay, just what I needed. I still feel like ass but I’m too busy lazy to call my doctor. I hate going there.

In good news, however, I just found out that an advertisement I wrote on Monday pulled in $5,000 overnight. Go, me! Apparently it was the headline that pulled them in, ’cause I’ve used the same tired copy a few times before but the title was fresh! fun! exciting! and all that jazz. Now another marketer said she was going to use my idea in one of her slots. Heh. 😉 It’s all good — the more money we make, the bigger the bonus pool!

Got so much to do before the long holiday weekend — and no strength or wherewithal to do it. Calgon, take me away. …

Reader Poll Monday Tuesday Wednesday!

1. Is it just me or have all the cool websites been having technical difficulties today?
That’s because all the cool kids are using them!

2. What’s the last movie you saw?
On the plane from Vegas to Cincinnati, I saw “Bridge to Terabithia”.

3. What’s the last good movie you saw?
Uh. … Can’t remember the last time I walked out of a theater feeling good about the money I dropped on a show.

4. If you were paid $10 million, would you be willing to have a 1″ tattoo (of your choosing) applied to the middle of your forehead?
Nope — the government would get half of it anyway.

5. Welch’s juice commercial kids: love ’em or hate ’em?
I want to shove those little bastard children straight back into their mothers’ hoo-has.

6. What is your current must-have software/plugin/online tool?
None, really. I’m thinking about buying a new computer; who can actually afford shit to put on it?!?!

7. Do you have any live plants in your home?
Hell naw. Cats would eat them.

8. Quick, make up a word and tell us its definition!
Lord, I make up words all the time. I call my mom’s boyfriend “pudgefuckle.” Sort of a cross between pudgecicle and chucklehead. 😉 Actually, I was just being lazy and sort of wasn’t sure what to call him so I slurred them together.

9. Do you love eggs from your head down to your legs?
The thought of eggs just totally made me throw up in my mouth a little!

10. Ask me something.
What day will RPM take place on next week? 😉

We’re having some sort of blogging summit thingy at Ye Olde Employment Establishment today, to tell us how to craft better blogs. And the people in the building who already blog are invited (i.e., yours truly and the rest of our esteemed group — dude, saying you have a blog automatically makes you one of the cool kids there), and some of the “better” bloggers are going to get up and share what makes their blogs successful.

Should I be offended that no one invited me to share how the magic happens here at Chez Caterwauling? 😉 *sniffle*

I have officially become one of those stressed-out editors with both a giant-sized and a baby-sized bottle of Pepto Bismol on my desk. (It’s the max strength, cupcakes — and I fear it’s not enough to control this newfound indigestion!)

And today, as I saw a test broadcast of a selling message that I would never in my right mind want to be broadcast live to eleventy billion people (which it was on its way to happening), I grabbed my bigger bottle and clickety-clacked up the hallway to find the responsible party. And yes, I was in people’s doorways, chugging the ol’ Pepto. Even the people who had never met me before today — what an impression to make! 😉

Anyone got some Captain to mix with this shit? I need it!

So then I took over another product today — rather involuntarily and impromptu-like. The broadcast form wasn’t ready; the list hasn’t been uploaded to the form; the text was not QUITE of the caliber of, um, readiness that I was expecting. So I re-wrote the copy. (Those of you who know me will be shocked at that. NOT! LOL) Those elements still aren’t ready, but people outside my team really pulled together to help me through this crisis today.

Needless to say, I just drained the tiny bottle of Pepto, especially after I had to explain to the powers-that-be why I just pulled what was sure to be a moneymaking sales message. (I had my reasons. Trust me.)

Got another poopload of problems to solve before I see the light of day. I’ve already missed four meetings — one impromptu get-together was suggested to me on a project that would be the death of me if I ever actually took it as seriously as I’m supposed to. (I’d be dead from a heart attack if I actually had the level of emotional involvement that I’m supposed to have.) When I was asked whether I “wanted” (ha!) to meet, I said I really enjoyed the thought of discussing unicorns and leprechauns and fairies and other things I’ll never see in my lifetime, but if I could get the “real” work out of the way first, I’d be delighted to make time at some other juncture.

Yes, people do laugh at me. Yesterday I got told four times that I wasn’t funny, but apparently today, the goddess mojo is back. 😉

The poster hung conveniently at the elevator banks on the casino level, right across from the Orchid Lounge where I got coffee every day. Talk about startin’ a day with a smile!

Oh, and did I mention that Daughtry is the opening act? What the FUCK am I doing back in D.C. right now?!?!

(Imagine me saying the title like Eric Cartman screams “Beefcake. BeefCAKE!”)

Otherwise known as “what I want for my birthday.”

He’ll be autographing these limited-edition prints on Saturday at Mandalay Bay. Hmm, Mandalay Bay … wasn’t I there, oh, just YESTERDAY?!?!

*bonk*

In any event, de-lish!

Here are the Qs from last week, since I missed it:

1. What was the highlight of your weekend?
Being in Vegas was fabulous. I really enjoyed the beach at Mandalay Bay, even though I was there for 90 minutes and walked away with a wicked sunburn. It just felt good to be outside, with my feet in the water and the sun on my shoulders, just feeling alive.

2. How often do you get your hair cut?
I usually rip out the scissors and hack at it when I can’t figure out what else to do with it. Every two months, maybe.

3. Can you drive a stick shift?
Not a chance.

4. If someone gave you $1,000 to spend on yourself, how would you spend it?
I’m sad to say, “That’s all?” God, I’ve gotten expensive in my old age. I’d go buy myself a 33rd (gasp!) birthday present on Friday. Or perhaps save it next month for the iPhone, although I think I’m just going to buy a Pearl and an iPod mini till I can afford the next-gen iPhone incarnation.

5. What are you most afraid of?
What goes around, not coming around.

6. Do you have any vacations planned for the summer?
Had to cancel my last vacation, got sick on this vacation. I’m going for third time’s a charm here, peeps. My friend in North Carolina is beckoning hard for me to come see her new house. I think that’s the plan, although I would never turn down any good offers if they came along. 😉

7. What is your non-alcoholic beverage of choice?
Sweet tea.

8. What is your favorite kind of cereal?
Life Chocolate Oat Crunch

9. What color looks best on you? Do you wear it often?
I get the most compliments with pink and baby blue, although I usually wear black or brown because I can slobber and spill and nobody will notice.

10. Ask me something.
Is Chipotle paying you to cheer for Chipotle Tuesdays as a new national holiday? 😉