Caterwauling

In honor of the systems blowing up at a crucial moment this evening and sending all of us scurrying to our respective homes for Internet/network access and recovery attempts with lost files, I present fun with error messages:

Since I’m on this higher-self awareness kick (as opposed to a higher self-awareness kick — I’m already aware of myself, but of my higher self? Not so much. Although the grammarian in me wants to hyphenate all the modifiers, a la higher-self-awareness kick, and I’m aware that my attention to nuances is great at work but I just can’t work it today anywhere else.)

Ahem.

Anyway, in my quest to acquaint myself with my inner being, I was listening to my audiobook today and learned that we primarily view ourselves as others do, not as we actually are. I’ve always been a subscriber to the Anais Nin school of thought, in that “We don’t see things as they are, but as we are.” But maybe the two can coexist — we see other things through our own eyes, but we seem to default to regarding ourselves as others view us.

Case in point: We’ve all had someone who holds us back, whether consciously or not. Whether it’s a colleague who refuses to let us succeed on our own terms, “friend” who can’t stand to see us be successful if they don’t have equal or superior success, or a person we date who either overtly or subtly calls all the shots (and yes, I recognize that oftentimes we do let them), there’s always that one person whose photo we tack onto our mental (or real) dartboard and poke them with as many holes as they put in our dreams or our hearts.

And how much of their abuse — again, intentional or inadvertent — did we succumb to? How many ideas did we abandon because they looked at us like they thought we were nuts? How many of us dated someone who liked a “nature girl” and we actually gave up on pedicure parties and wearing the makeup that makes us feel so good about ourselves? (OK, you’ll never take the girly girl out of me — bad example).

More appropriately, how many times did someone tell you — or simply look at you in a way as if to convey — that you weren’t as pretty as the girl who just walked by? That sure, you might be smart, but damn, look at the hooters on her! At what point did you crumble and go, “I must not be attractive because I don’t look like what women on the street/on the runway/in the magazines do”?

Or at all the jobs past when innovation based on passion for what you do was trampled? To this day, when everyone asks what I’ve found to be the new, cool tool in the blogiverse happens to be that we should be utilizing, I flinch and shut my trap. Because thanks to someone being a dick in the past by revealing my blog to my old employer (and to this one, too, but I work for better people now), I felt compelled to quit before they could even approach me to fire me. And now even as I’m rewarded for having my cool blog, I’m still like, enh, should they REALLY know what I’m up to online? Because isn’t blogging bad?

Anyway, those are mild examples but I’m not here to celebrate Neurosis-Fest 2007. What I found by having bad people in my life who were just bad news to begin with brought a negative energy to my world. And by treating me like the dirt that they themselves were, I nearly came to view myself as whatever adjectives they saw fit to assign me. I’ve been told I’m a bad friend (despite evidence to the contrary with that particular soul-sucker), I’ve been told I have no friends (I have a whole lot, thankyouverymuch), I’ve been called fourth-grade names and I’ve WALKED AWAY FROM ALL THAT BULLSHIT lest I actually started to believe it.

But enough about people whose opinions don’t matter. When it’s those who do, a simple negative word can make you feel like crap. If someone says I’m disorganized, I say yep, I’m disorganized. Even if I’m not. (Caveat: I am VERY disorganized.) And thus, I become even MORE disorganized because hey, why fight the tape? That’s the expectation, no?

On the other hand, when I got promoted last year, the all-staff memo that went out to announce it knocked off my frog socks. It was GLOWING. I read it and asked repeatedly, “Was that about me?” All about achievements in the past and the capability for the current/future load. I seriously couldn’t believe it was my name on that paper — that someone had said all that about me. (Remember, I came here with a full suitcase full of neuroses; see blog issue above.)

And you know what that fabulous memo did? POSITIONED ME FOR SUCCESS. People practically rolled out the red carpet for me. If my well-respected boss believed in me, well, so should they. (Don’t get me wrong — I had a lot of respect before that, but it was noticeable how much it increased.) And whoever wasn’t/still isn’t impressed? Wouldn’t be moved if God herself came up to them and kicked them in the ass. 🙂

Anyway, so much for my lunch break. Must get back to being the raving success everybody else seems to think I am. 🙂

In any event, that’s the one and only time you should listen to what others think about you — if it’s good. Because we tend to accept what mean-spirited assholes present as “constructive criticism” when their stupid asses shouldn’t be qualified to own a goldfish, let alone tell other people how to live their lives. Especially when you find that you thrive even more without their stupid shit weighing you down. …

A conversation I wasn’t involved with:

Person 1: We can’t execute this project that way. (Goddess) had a lot of colorful words to say about why we shouldn’t do that.

Person 2: (Goddess) has a lot of colorful words to say about everything!

They know me too well!

I was in a sales meeting where everyone was bragging about some successful promotion some other company did, in which it enticed people to buy their products with a coupon, but if the customer didn’t use the coupon, the discount wasn’t deducted. They claimed the customers who basically got screwed didn’t even complain/notice. And that those who did call in to ask WTF, still didn’t get the coupon honored because they were too dumb to fill out the form correctly.

And some people thought this was a brilliant idea because, wow! Look at all the “extra” revenue they got! We should try that, too!

Yeah, sure. And when it comes time for a refill, guess what? Customers aren’t going to go back because they got screwed and they KNOW it.

Which means we should rent their mailing list. 🙂

Seriously, though. If a customer comes in through a certain promotion, even if they’re too lazy/busy/oblivious to take that action step that gives them a reward, it should automatically be configured to reward them anyway. Whether it’s a big reminder that, hey, we need you to check this box or whether we just automatically tabulate it on the back end, it wouldn’t kill anyone to send an extra note to say that you forgot to take advantage of the special offer and we went ahead and did it for you because we love you so.

I have been ordering crap from a company for the past 10 years. At least monthly, I throw $50 (usually more) their way for a product I adore and need in the house at all times.

They have an ongoing special in which, if you spend $75 or more, you get a free gift. It’s usually decent stuff, too — a hairbrush, a makeup bag, a travel kit for toiletries, etc. But my order never quite comes to $75 because I can’t justify spending that much in one fell swoop. It comes close, like today it was $60, but I just can’t eke out 15 more bucks at this tiime.

So, guess what? They send me the gifts anyway! Amazing, huh?

I’m an active customer. I review items and provide testimonials. I even write to say good job when they impress me. My account must be flagged accordingly, because I have more free gifts sitting in my travel suitcase (as I use all the stuff they send) than you can imagine.

And guess who keeps ordering from them?

It’s hard to find loyal customers in this day and age when we can just go online to find it cheaper or even just wherever strikes our fancy. I used to order my stuff straight from the manufacturer, truth be told, but they were a bunch of fucking morons and it made more sense to go to a third-party distributor — I got my orders faster and the third-party guys don’t LOSE my orders or overcharge me, like the manufacturer did more frequently than I care to recount. I let the middle man deal with the dumb shit and I’m a happy girl.

Anyway, I just say all this to all of you who are making decisions about how to screw people like me out of money. I will part with it on something I want, but be warned — I’m paying attention. Even if I don’t raise a fuss about it. You’ll know it when you don’t hear from me again. Just like that company that made all kinds of dough by making people pay retail price on a so-called discount promotion.

I mean, how do people live with themselves? We all have sales goals to meet, but I’d rather develop a relationship with a customer and get their continued business instead of a quick boost to the bottom line. I’d rather take the hit upfront and have them trust me enough to come back and not go to a competitor for the same thing. People will pay for quality, and quality service is just as important as — and maybe even more so than — a quality product.

Just like with that company that couldn’t ever get my order right. Now they’re getting less revenue from me because I’d rather pay it to the middleman, who gets a nice big cut, too. I get the quality product and the quality service — and all from the same place.

The customer always wins in the end. And the company that lets them win, ends up being a winner, too.