I’d exchange favors of pretty much any variety for someone to come in and clean the house. The backache from hell has prevented me from doing much more than lying on the floor with a heating pad and the litterbox is a killer. I basically just went out and bought some disposable ones and left the big stankin’ one scooped but with the catty litter unchanged. Which is making Maddie choose to shit in every corner of every room except the one she’s supposed to hit.
Speaking of the mess, I have a horrid tangle of my iPhone charger, my earbuds, my bullet (yes, THAT kind) and myriad USB cords on my nightstand. Yesterday I went to get my phone and headset and managed to have the bullet hanging by its cord from my ear. Now if THAT isn’t a classy way to go into work, I don’t know what is.
Someone made a joke that if (someone conservative) saw me with a dildo hanging from my ear, he’d say, “Hey, my wife has one of those!” I corrected her and said, technically, doesn’t that mean his wife has TWO? (In addition to the human one, for those slow to catch on.)
Nothin’ but love, kids. Nothin’ but love. …