Caterwauling

Friend 1: “I’m searching for a tranquility mantra I can say all day long.”

Me to Friend 2: “Got anything I can share with Friend 1?”

Friend 2: “It is perfectly acceptable to drink alone.”

Friend 2: “All right, how about, ‘Everyone I encounter today is enjoyable and rational’?”

Me to Friend 1: (I share the two thoughts from Friend 2).

Me to Friend 1: “Personally, I’d refrain from the Pittsburgh-inspired, ‘I’m surrounded by jagoffs,’ as that tends to attract more. How about this: ‘We encounter so many glorious people that we do our part to help the economy and, particularly, the state stores.'” (The friend is in Pennsylvania, where the liquor stores are state stores.)

Me to Friend 2: “I modified your thoughts a bit.”

Friend 2: “Yes, we really should be awarded for our contribution to the Montgomery County Liquor Board.”

Me to Friend 2: “It should be a direct salary deduction. We’re good for it!”

Still wondering how to expense my wine consumption. Although, we did get bagels and the Good Humor truck is on its way for its weekly visit, so I can’t complain TOO much. And as our beloved Tom was quoted in the WaPo today , it does help us to hit the mental reset button.

(Personally, I’d rather have wine. ….)

So I was drifting off to sleep last night around midnight (after barely sleeping the night before) when the phone rang.

And for the first time in a long time, I was at such a loss. Someone needed me, and I had nothing to offer.

Well, I guess THAT’S not an unusual feeling these days, but it was a, “Hey, I wouldn’t ask because I know you’re so busy. …” *cringe* Yep, that’s me, never time enough for anyone so they don’t even approach me anymore.

“… but I have no one else to turn to.” Now it’s clear I only get calls made in desperation because I’m so useless to everyone.

Truth be told, I only picked up because I was half-asleep. Everyone knows the iPhone never leaves my sight and yet I never pick up for my friends.

And all I wanted was my sleep, but I struggled to fight the Tylenol PM.

It involves a physical appearance. Ha. Today or tomorrow. Ha HA.

“Saturday?”

More chortling from me.

It’s impossible. It’s abso-fucking-lutely impossible to go help someone in need because I’ve got my own messes to clean up.

I remember the days of calling off work and cutting classes to either go do something fun or to help a friend who needed something. Fuck, I remember being up half the night with people (or the whole night) and still being at work with energy to spare the next day. I wouldn’t do it for fun anymore (I don’t do much of anything for fun anymore) but here I sit with a Santa’s sack of “fuck me” because I don’t have the time or wherewithal to go help someone who would do it for me in a heartbeat.

With some of those people that I got roped into serving (ahem), I know I wished for excuses to say no, because I didn’t have the balls enough to say they’d used up their favors and 10 other people’s, so try again next year, thanks. Guess I got my wish.

I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I’m sure I could find a way if I tried. (I accidentally typed “tired” instead of “tried.” I think that says it all!) The bigger issue is that I’ve stopped picking up my phone for this exact reason. Not that I don’t want to help people (or chat with them or go hang out), but because I really just can’t right now.

Damn it. Why can’t opportunities/emergencies revolve around MY schedule? 😉