A spoonful of stupid

June 5th, 2008, 11:19 AM by Goddess

Worked from home this a.m. and decided to do the afternoon shift at a wireless hotspot simply because my bloated ass feels and looks way better in my cute new jean shorts.

Alas, I’m here now and the firewall is blocking the Web site that I’m supposed to be working on. Aarrgghh!

Am just gonna finish my salad and hightail it to the office. Besides, this annoying mother of 14 sitting next to me yelled at me to take a farther-away table just in case her kids wanted mine. The hell? Now she’s talking loudly with the mother four tables away from her (i.e., two away from me) so I get it. Really. You’re a whore who needs to have her tubes (and her vocal cords) tied.

Good thing I brought a pair of pants more suitable for work, just in case.

I do see the usefulness in having kids though. I forgot to grab a knife (heh — good thing) and Splenda for my black currant iced tea. At least she can dispatch her toddler to the condiment station. I wish I’d been nicer to her, as I can’t abandon my shit-ton of electronics just to get a lil spoonful of sugar for myself.

Of course, she beats the dumb bitch who was in line behind me by a mile, as her natural voice was baby talk. Even when she wasn’t addressing her toddler. I wanted to fork her eyeball if it wouldn’t have resulted in even more high-pitched shrieking, although it would have been amusing to see if her voice could possibly have risen another octave.



The cat shat on my lap(top)

June 5th, 2008, 6:31 AM by Goddess


The cat shat on my lap(top), originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn.

Yeah, I think Dell is a piece of shit, too.

Actually it’s just kitty vomit. The rhyme simply didn’t work as “the cat horked the fucking plant she’s been secretly chowing down on all over my nice eggshell-colored duvet that she previously DID shat upon merely a month ago and I’m goddamned sick of washing this thing because she cannot control her bodily functions.”

At least the electricity had come back on moments earlier so I could wash the fucking thing!



Get in car, house pulls up and the lights are off

June 5th, 2008, 5:45 AM by Goddess

I’ve been spending so much time arguing with people who seem hell-bent against me doing things the way they should be done (because I’ve fixed just enough screw-ups in my day to know when to spot a problem barreling at me like a runaway freight train) that, well, a screw-up of my own was pretty much inevitable.

Nobody died or anything. In fact, all I have to say is that some impeccable copy went out to people who were supposed to receive it. I know what the bigger problem is, but that’s an argument that is about two pay grades up. The more-immediate problem is that I’ve lost so many senseless battles this week that I just assumed this was a task I could crank out and feel like I achieved something.

(I was wholly opposed to the task itself on a fundamental level. So I sort of did the Band-Aid thing with it — just rip it off, get it overwith and fugettaboutit.)

Besides, you give me a task, I do it. I do not sit on it or wonder what the hell just happened. (Well, not most of the time.)

What burns my ass is that if the Internet had just gone down a half-hour earlier, I wouldn’t have had people about four pay grades above mine in my cubby asking what the hell just happened. 🙂

OK, what really kills me is how much time you spend in a day making everything “just so” and helping your stars to shine and banging the other, ah, wire hangers into some sort of shape that you can’t beat them with. You correct a dozen mistakes in a day but when you make one? It’s on a grand level. My mistakes are few, but boy are they public. *sigh*

I think my people understand that you just get tired and you just juggle everything in and that you’re on autopilot, mostly. It’s like when you’re so tired at night that “you get in the car and the house pulls up.” You don’t know how you get through a day sometimes — you just do, and that’s victory enough.

Anywho, the tornado watch of yesterday brought storms that wiped out the power all over metro D.C. for several hours. We had to give up at work around 5 — it was my battery backup dying that did me in, not to mention that all the local cafes with free Wi-Fi were also sitting in the dark, too, so I was screwed on all accounts.

There wasn’t a functional traffic light anywhere that I had to travel, which let me tell you that there is ONLY so much joy that I can take in a day. Yarr. While there were cops directing traffic at some of the main intersections, you just couldn’t trust your fellow D.C./Md./Va. drivers to exert courtesy anywhere else. It was spectacularly frightening.

Worse still was taking the freeway, which I did because there are no traffic lights. But the freeway was jammed with folks also giving up on working. But then the lights at the off-ramps weren’t working, so can we say clusterfuck, boys and girls? I’ll bet you can!

And of course there was no food at home, which was great because I didn’t lose anything in the power outage, but that meant A) braving the streets again, as it had turned into the Wild West of “it’s everybody’s turn!” at intersections, and B) oh yeah, where are the neighborhoods with functioning electricity?

I’m just so excited that it’s now 6:30 a.m. and I finally have everything (power, cable, Internet) back. I need to make an online purchase just to show Teh Intarwebs how much I missed them!



Fantasy vs. reality

June 4th, 2008, 8:16 AM by Goddess

FANTASY

Me: Hey, really sorry to bother you. But I need a favor. I was wondering if you could do (blah) for me) at your earliest convenience?

Other person: Sure. Would love to. Hey, I have an opening in my schedule right now. Oh, would you look at that — it’s done, just the way you requested it to be done.

Me: Wow, thank you so much. You’ve saved me a lot of time and I’ll mention to your boss how awesome you are.

REALITY

Me: Hey, really sorry to bother you. But I need a favor. I was wondering if you could do (blah) for me) at your earliest convenience?

Other person (cc’d to 6 others): Well, you never answered my question on (unrelated topic).

Me (cc’d to nobody): We met a few months back to resolve that. Remember? We decided (blah). Anyway, my request is kind of urgent today — could you get back to me on how we can come to a resolution? I think we should do (blah) as the quickest, easiest way.

Other person (hits “reply all” to their original message): Well, we asked so-and-so since you didn’t resolve that old issue and they didn’t have time to meet with us.

Me (hitting head with stapler): But so-and-so DID meet with you because they gave me a debriefing. Anyway …

Other person (e-mailing while I’m typing the last response): We need to meet to resolve that old issue.

Me (abandoning last e-mail and getting pretty damn angry): What exactly do we need to meet about? You wanted Y data and it was provided to you.

Me (mentally typing): Not like you’ll ever do it my way, anyway, so why ask?

Other person (did that cc’ line just grow to 10 people? Why are my two superiors on there?): We cannot move forward until you agree to meet with us to resolve the issue we contacted you about two weeks ago. In case you’ve forgotten, it’s the (blah blah project).

Me (lighting myself on fire): Look, I will forward you the e-mail where we discussed/resolved this Moving forward, can you just do me the teensy itty bitty widdle favor I requested today that’s holding up the whole show? Let me know if you have questions. Thanks!

Other person (pwned!)

3 weeks later …

Me (being brave): Hi, I noticed something strange and I was wondering if your team ever did me that sweet little favor.

Other person (cc’d to Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Holy Spirit): No because you never met witih me on the blah blah project.

Me (craps on desk and goes out for a smoke)



O rly?

June 3rd, 2008, 7:45 AM by Goddess

From the Grey’s Anatomy blog:

“I feel for (Rose) though because when a man meets the love of his life, there is nothing else out there for him, no matter how great the girl.”

I believe that’s true for women or, at least, for me. You find someone and you’d probably forgive them downright anything and you’d wait for them if that’s what it takes and you’ll hide your heartache till the end of time because it seems like he’s got to be the one to come to his senses, to find you waiting there all along.

And all the while that you’re wondering whether you’re good enough for him, you squelch back every fleeting thought of, “Well, is he even good enough for me?”

In any case, maybe I just haven’t met the type that “could” settle down, even if it’s the love of his life. Or maybe I have and I just don’t know it yet.



Case of the Mondays, I haz one

June 2nd, 2008, 8:20 AM by Goddess

And nobody’s even said anything stupid to me yet!

Anyway, I was listening to the radio on the drive in to work today, and they were talking about the 14 Habits that Make You Fat. (Am guilty of all 14, and probably any more they come up with.)

I especially agree with No. 12, on “Wearing Uncomfortable Clothing”:

“Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, found that casual and comfortable clothing workdays promote increased physical activity. Specifically, study participants took an average of 491 (or 8%) more steps on Jeans Day than on those days in which they wore normal business attire. It is also estimated that study participants burned an average of 25 additional calories on Jeans Day with the extra steps and miles walked. Wearing casual clothing every day for 50 weeks of work translates into burning an additional 125 calories per week and 6,250 calories per year.”

I feel like a stuffed hedgehog today, as I’m bloated and PMS-ing and really not in the mood to be wearing shoes (or anything, for that matter). And they’re right — in more-comfortable clothes and shoes, I’m more likely to walk to the deli that’s two buildings over than drive to it. But I don’t want to perspire in work clothes, nor acquire any bruises from these damn heels rubbing me the wrong way.

Ahem.

I know, I haven’t blogged in days and this is all I’ve got. Tough shit. 😉