Caterwauling

So, there were some commercials out earlier this summer for “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” in which Kim was prepping for a calendar shoot and was getting her cellulite massaged or whatever the hell the process is called.

Anyway, she was wearing these awesome leopard-print underwear trimmed in black lace. Dude, I saw those panties in the store that same week and I HAD to have them.

Yes, I know they don’t make my butt look like hers. But I still love them.

So I was wearing them today, and my pants (being just a twee bit too loose at the waist) weren’t always covering them when I was sitting. But I usually pay attention to these things and am quite acclimated with fussing around with my clothes.

Of course, we got hella busy today and by busy I mean “why the fuck did the seven people I am paid to beat into submission crawl out from under their rocks at THE EXACT SAME TIME and send me urgent work that needed to be attended to RIGHT THAT VERY GODDAMNED MINUTE?” I have one lone but glorious staff member, so we divided and conquered and kicked the inbox’s ASS in a half-hour before we were annihilated again shortly thereafter.

Anyway, I was trying very hard to do math once the onslaught abated and it meant staring at lots of flashing, shiny lights and numbers up on my screen as they KEPT FUCKING CHANGING. Oh yeah, good times.

So what I did not realize that my poor boss was standing behind me, waiting to get my attention when I was done doing my little data inputting and percentage-getting and such. And what I realized was a lovely “oh shit” moment as I noticed my undergutchies were quite visible to anyone who might have had a rear view of moi.

Har har har. *headdesk* My apologies for the underskivvy exposure!

I normally wear longer shirts but I fit into one I haven’t worn in a couple of years and wasn’t so concerned when I got dressed this morning. I always forget these days to check my clothes when I’m sitting down in ’em.

Oh well — I’m wearing a Steeler T-shirt tomorrow ’cause we’re actually allowed to dress like normal human beings (like, with jeans! And favorite-team jerseys!) so I am just gonna hope for the best or, at least, wear undergutchies that sit much lower than the Kim Kardashian-esque ones that I still love so much.

And, actually, belts just don’t help. I was wearing string-bikini-type gutchies on Saturday night, and I accidentally threaded my belt through them. *facepalm* When I went to use the powder room, I couldn’t figure out why my shorts and gutchies were all one unit. Please tell me I’m not the only asshat who’s endured this particular wardrobe malfunction. … 😉

OK, OK, I’m getting your pokes that I haven’t blogged in a while. Thank you. 🙂 I’m glad to know that if anything happened to me, I’d have people looking for me.

Anyway, I’ve been presented with a sort of bombshell that feels a lot like my worst nightmare, but that maybe my wildest dreams could be contained within it.

Hrm. I don’t know.

I can’t really explain it at this juncture. I do know that I really wanted a tequila shot this morning and had to settle for espresso, so maybe I will have to allow myself a little somethin’-somethin’ after work tonight.

I guess what I can say with some level of confidence is that when you’re doing something to change things for the better, other changes are destined to follow suit.

As you become a different person, maybe you outgrow everything around you. Maybe the universe notices and says, “OK, you’ve shown you can tackle (and even conquer) everything that’s been placed before you. Now it’s time to REALLY see what you’re made of.”

I’ve elected to stop wondering whether the changes are good or bad. Since, really, all I can do is make the best out of them.

I am asking folks, though, about the choice I made back when I had the chance … whether it was the right one or whether I shot myself in the foot. And I am being reassured that it’s all good and maybe better.

We’ll see.

Let’s face it, life gets cataclysmic sometimes. One may even proclaim that Life is Crap. But one wonders whether, through all the strangeness and suckitude, the good guys really will come out on top and get everything they dreamed of and so much more. Or, whether I should just go buy a T-shirt from that site now and accept the inevitable. …

Oh well. Lost another 2 pounds, so really, how can anything this week truly be bad?