Am down for the count with a nasty sinus infection. I’m actually mostly OK and don’t have to be self-imprisoned in my freezing-fucking-cold apartment. But since I was informed I have to drag along my little sister if I go out, well, I did what I always do and climbed up on the cross decided not to go out at all.
I never did make it to my de-pudgification meeting this week. I meant to go today but was besieged by girlie aches and pains (in addition to the perennial ass-pain next-door). But to my credit this week, I finally got back into the groove of writing down everything I’ve consumed — I find that when I stop recording, I start ballooning. (See: lying on the bed the past two weeks to zip up jeans.)
And perhaps my biggest problem both during the holidays as well as now is not necessarily that I’m indulging in bad things. Quite the contrary. It’s the portion sizes that I’ve been letting escape me. Sure, the occasional one-point cookie is fine. But a whole box in two days for 12 points … what made me think THAT was a good idea?
Even though I did indulge myself during the past few weeks by eating meats and potatoes and pastas and sauces that I would normally steer clear from, nothing was inherently terrible and, quite honestly, I won’t miss any of it for a long while again now that I’ve had it. It was mostly as good as I remembered. But I tell you, eating a whole bag of apple slices yesterday (see: “portion creep”) was just as tasty and as filling as could be. And refreshing, too, since I wasn’t the slightest bit guilty over eating (also, “overeating”) froot.
What I do miss are two things: extra-cheese-with-pepperoni pizzas from Potomac Pizza and the stromboli from Ledo’s. These weren’t everyday eats, but rather rewards after Friday nights that were spent at work. (Assuming anything was still OPEN when I got out.)
There were a lot of those nights. Which explains a lot.
I have no idea why I’m even confessing this right now, given that my taste buds are pretty much drowning in a river of sinus snot. I guess it’s the habits that I miss — the little traditions of things that would cheer me up and satisfy me after a grueling day in a way a Boca burger on a half-slice of double-fiber bread never will.
Oh, and I also stopped smoking again. Whee. Which I did 4 1/2 years ago but when I started dieting earlier this year, it just made sense to revive one vice to replace the other. I never had more than 2 or 3 smokes in a day, and usually none on weekends unless I had to be social.
Since it was quitting smoking that led me to satisfy my oral fixation at the fridge, I figured reversing it would help. And to some extent, it might have. But what’s going to satisfy my oral fixation now, other than yelling at people who piss me off simply for the fact that they’re breathing? 😉