Caterwauling

Nothing I could possibly have said during the past few days would have come across as anything less than whining or more than complaining. I basically increased my red wine consumption because I needed something to cry in.

But things are looking WAY up today. So, now that I’m in a better mood, I’m hoping to maintain it.

I’ve been working relatively non-stop for the past two weeks. I finally, FINALLY snuck in some beach time last night. Just an hour, but an hour more than I have been there in the past 14 days. That did AMAZING things to help me to clear my head.

I haven’t really had time to go to Weight Watchers, so I’ve been eating for crap. Plus, we’ve been bringing in lunch to the office so we don’t have to leave our project, and it’s been pizza, pizza and more pizza.

I’m in the midst of making Russian nesting dolls, let’s say, and it’s easy in a way but exhausting in another. And while I’ve been trying not to feel overwhelmed and trying almost as hard not to lose my enchantment with the manufacturing of this particular type of nesting dolls with the instructions the Russian is giving, my lizard got drained pretty quickly.

Add to the fact that half of my friends are in Sin City right now, and I could be there with them if I weren’t captive trying to construct Russian nesting dolls on top of making plastic drinking birds in the evenings AND testing boomerangs in the mornings. And I’m sure I’ve been a little testier than one would expect from this otherwise-happy zen beach goddess.

Today has been fantastic so far, though. I know it shouldn’t count, but I started off with a booty-call request from someone who didn’t realize I wasn’t in the state. Hah! And damn. … :9

Heard from another of my guys, too. I think someone is fishing for an invitation to Florida. (Yes, this one DID know that I left town.) I’m enjoying the attention and am waiting to be impressed … by this or any one of them!

I admit I’ve been struggling on the work front a bit, with how much there is to learn and how much there is to do and learning/wrangling all the players and personalities, versus how many hours there are in a day. But I’ve also set my sights on the bigger picture, and that’s what keeps me going. All I can give is my best, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

I’ve gotten lots of reports from my friends in Vegas. Lots of nice things said about me, lots of people saying they miss working with me and that they actually miss ME. And it makes me happy that it’s a small field after all and we’ll all cross paths again … and happier still that they think of me as fondly as I do them.

Untitled from Bugged Shit on Vimeo.

I just realized that my church broadcasts its services online. Much as I love the half-hour drive each way on I-95 (I do. Really. Great way to release my aggressions!), that’s time I can’t spare today.

Besides, I’ll probably miss the next few Sundays, anyway, so I might as well not raise anyone’s expectations. 😉

Although … the cafe next door to it makes an awesome cappuccino. And Sephora is nearby! Do you KNOW what this heat is doing to my skin?!?!

🙂

One of those Sundays that I’ll be missing in action from the world, I’ll be rolling up to a chi-chi resort in a beach town about an hour and a half from here. (Aside: Church IS on the way. All right, God, you win this one.)

Anyway, back to me. Because it’s ALL ABOUT ME. I saw a great room rate on a discount-travel site, and the rate was only good on my birthday eve. The selling point? A free bottle of wine at check-in. Happy birthday, Goddess!

*disclaimer: If you don’t want to read existential whining, skip to the “There’s Hope Yet” section at the bottom.

My beloved Vitamin D left me a voicemail to remind me that I haven’t blogged in a while. I tell ya, I know. I have fired up this window two or three times in the last week. And then closed it, thinking better of it.

I was starting to get into a routine, but it’s pretty much all blown to hell right now. Between managing talent (there’s a full-time job right there. And no, I’m not exaggerating. And that’s just referring to one of several!) and destroying/revamping processes while I’m learning them, I’ve got my hands full. The “routine” stuff is saved for stupid o’clock, when I can flip into cruise-control mode because the stuff I’m good at, I can do in my sleep. Thank God for small favors.

And that’s why I haven’t blogged. Because it sounds like complaining. When it’s not. Just adjusting to yet another new reality, that’s all.

“I told her I ain’t so sure
About this place
It’s hard to play a gig in this town
And keep a straight face
Seems like everybody’s got a plan
It’s kind of like Nashville with a tan.”

— Shawn Mullins, “Lullaby“

Worked a full day yesterday. The only reason I went to bed at midnight (the day’s highlight? A trip to Wal-Mart!) was because I was tapped out. I wanted to keep going, as I hate having to bother people on Mother’s Day with shit I just couldn’t finish/get to. But I know my limits … my limits are VERY familiar territory. 😉

Now, the rational Goddess who made a brief appearance in my life during the past six weeks I’ve spent in Floriduh whispered in my ear that it’s my weekend, too. But I’m in that phase where if I even suspect that I’ll have to jump, the trampoline is ready and waiting. Again, not complaining — just responding to my own nature, and trying to strike a balance between going with the flow and fighting it.

I mean, I’m actually sitting here, debating not going to church so I can finish something. Can you believe it? No worries — God will win out. I may just hustle to hit the early session so I can come back sooner. Fun. Not that I have any mother’s day plans. Every day in my life is mother’s day. 🙂

Ever notice how no one questions why the word “mother” was put in front of “fucker”?

“She still lives with her mom
Outside the city
Down that street about a half a mile
And all her friends tell her
She’s so pretty
But she’d be a whole lot prettier
If she smiled once in a while.”

There’s Hope Yet

Well, if anyone guessed that the OEH doesn’t have a job yet, ding-ding-ding you win a prize. And with each day that passes, my temperature gets hotter.

What’s sad is that a colleague is looking for someone to take care of her grandmother. Pay’s good. I asked what are the odds that OEH can come and work for them. She was so nice about it, but she said, “Yeah, the stories you’ve told aren’t exactly inspiring.”

Shit!

Note to self: KEEP MOUTH SHUT FROM NOW ON!

Her old job called her to say she can come back anytime. I said get them to put in writing that they’ll pay a respectable wage and I’ll make that trip happen. Which, she won’t.

Why? She can’t compose an e-mail.

Yeah, I got an earful that she can’t apply for jobs because she can only hit “reply” — she doesn’t know how to generate a new e-mail. Or, in her words, “You never take the time to show me anything!”

Read: It’s MY fault. Yay!

Anyway, the OEH DID show some initiative and called someone on Craigslist about a cleaning job. Whereupon she was asked if she’d be opposed to doing “a light oil massage.”

Which, she interpreted as (and responded with), “Oh, sure, you mean with Pledge, right?”

*hahahahaa*

Now she’s scared to call anyone else. My God, she’ll NEVER get a job at this rate!

Thriving Ivory at Sunfest

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

I should be working on my little newsletter, but I am absolutely exhausted and my mind is boggling from learning stuff I never knew from about 15 years ago so, hey, let’s blog!

I wasn’t going to go to Sunfest today. I mean, yesterday was the day I had designated to go. And today was the final day of the four-day extravaganza. I had better things to do today, yes?

Well, I went to church. (Always a better thing to do.) Had lunch. And figured I’d just drive up the A1A and see what parking might be like, since genius here parked six miles away yesterday. And lo and behold, hand a guy $20 and voila! Parking across from the entrance FTW! (In addition to $31 at the gate. Sweet Jeebus.)

I got to see Thriving Ivory, G. Love and Special Sauce, and Candlebox while I was there. Fireworks start tonight at 9 p.m. but alas, newsletter duty called. Besides, trying to get out of West Palm Beach after fireworks and having to sit on I-95 South to Miami with eleventy million others? No fucking thank you.

I had a great time there. It was nicely situated along the Intracoastal, so even though it was hotter than BALLS in South Florida today, the breeze kept it temperate.

There were all kinds of crafts and food booths there, although that crap really doesn’t interest me. I did chortle at the sign at a chicken place, advertising “Jerk in a Cup” for $6. I got a shot of it on my Nikon, although hell if I can find the battery charger and the USB cord to upload this photo goodness. That settles it — when a cord goes MIA, I just buy a new camera/printer/computer.

Why yes, I AM a girl, in case THAT isn’t readily apparent from reading this page!

I am so glad I didn’t stay at Sunfest last night; I think I walked five miles inside of it today. What I fail to understand is that the scale says I’m up two pounds right now; after hiking no fewer than 15 miles in the last two days (including beach time), like HELL that’s true or even acceptable!

I did have a bit of a giggle at Sunfest today when I noticed a number of men looking at me. Don’t get me wrong — I’m aware that I’ve shed a small person’s worth of weight from my frame, even if I don’t really “get it” in my head that I wasn’t beautiful the whole way down.

But I was sort of amazed at the male attention when I realized that I was probably one of the few chicks with real boobs in the county. And I’m sure I’ll become one of those who does become a frequent-flier at the plastic surgeon. In the meantime, though, I was glad I didn’t throw away my “last year’s tube top becomes this year’s sun dress” — it worked very well for me today!

All right, that’s all, folks. Must go do brilliant things or, at least, make them pretty enough to be published at the crack o’ me in the a.m. …

Banner day in Goddess’ world. Really. Outstanding on all accounts.

The day started with some terse words with the OEH and were followed up with a text from her that was reminiscent of someone else from my past (who is not part of my present; draw the parallel).

This just bought someone one-way plane fare to Siberia.

On Oceanic Flight 815. 🙂

I texted back a, “Thank you for justifying my frustration.”

The only real low point of the day was attending my city’s Sucko de Mayo celebration. Yes, I typed that right. Paid 10 bucks to enter, and left within five minutes. Four booths and three taco stands and some mariachi music. I seriously wanted to ask for a refund but I figured maybe the money would help them to relocate to Texas before it secedes.

In any event, it was all good from there. After spending my biweekly pay at the farmer’s market (all on fresh, yummy froot), I went to my WW meeting today and found out I was down 4.2 pounds for the week. Yay! Considering that I only dropped a half-pound over the past month, I’m fairly all right with that.

To reward my incredible shrinking ass, I parked that pale butt on the beach for two hours and managed not to get a sunburn while I was there. Hurrah Neutrogena’s 70 SPF cooling mist — especially for a girl who’s as white as the sand upon which she lounged. Of course, now I have sand in very strange places; how the hell does it GET there, is my question. But wevs. Good day at the beach, I say.

I was lucky — when I parallel-parked at the shore, the gal in front of me said not to put money in my meter. Instead, she told me to pull up into her spot (she was leaving), as she had two hours left on hers. Score! When I dragged my butt back to the car after two hours, I put some money in the meter to help out the next person. Feels good to get a break every once in a while.

I went home to shake the sand out of my clothes and get a ‘ho bath before heading up to Sunfest, which ended up being an epic FAIL on my part. Since I wanted to get the fuq out of the house as soon as possible, I failed to get directions. I figured, I know my way around (*hahahaha*); I’ll just park at CityPlace and walk from there.

So after walking SIX MILES, I finally found the place. At this point, I was sunburned in very weird patches because I didn’t reapply my sunscreen evenly. And you know what? Fuck Sunfest.

Sure, I was hot to see David Cook perform (he’s performing RIGHT THIS MINUTE *cry*) — I will always be a drooling fangirl for him. But I was hot and hungry and fucking crabby. And I really didn’t want to walk all the way back in the dark, so I decided to turn back while the sun was still scorching my poor shoulders and back.

But I looked cute. Loved my outfit. I’ve been working on building a summer wardrobe, since I’m told it’s gorgeous 10 months out of the year here. My mind is officially blown that not only am I shopping in petites again, but also juniors. So, the day would have been a win for that reason alone.

So, with Sunfest up in smoke, I did something I never do and treated myself to dinner while I was up there. Had several glasses of premium Pinot Noir. Also feasted on crabmeat-encrusted sea bass that was served over a risotto pancake. I went elsewhere for coffee and some kickass tiramisu.

I don’t even want to discuss what I spent on that feast. But for some reason, I felt like celebrating. And by golly, I’m worth it!

Am down 64.2 pounds officially (although tonight’s dinner should have eradicated all of that) and have a ways to go still, but God it feels good to be a gangsta have made all this progress. The finish line isn’t anywhere near being in sight, but I’m more than halfway there.

I figured that 34 would be my year. It so totally was. Now that I’m about to turn 35 34 again (*cough*), there’s no reason why it can’t be better than the last one. I’m in a better place, literally and figuratively. So, you know. Even-more onward and even-more upward.

Work is taking an interesting turn, too. No details to give at this point, but I’m pretty much living the dream right now. Or, at least, that’s the plan. If I could just clear out my guest room, I’d be the poster child for perfection.

I wouldn’t know how to act if all were truly well in my world. Really. But I sure wouldn’t mind having the opportunity. But as it stands, I’m as close as I’ve ever been. And I’m quite OK with moving in the right direction, no matter how long it takes to get there.