Caterwauling

Urban oasis

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

“When I was 18, I moved to Florida,
Like everyone sick of the cold does,
And I waited on old people waiting to die
I waited on them until I was.

Something as simple as boys and girls
Gets tossed all around and then lost in the world
Something as hard as a prayer on your back
Can wait a long time for an answer.

So I’m wearing my footsteps into this floor
One day I won’t live here anymore
Someone will wonder who lived here before
And went on their way.

I live too many miles from the ocean
And I’m getting older and odd
I get up every morning with a black cup of coffee
And I talk to the mother of God.”

— Patty Griffin, “Mother of God”

Gemini horoscope, from Astrocenter.com:

“About a week ago, you may have received some bad news concerning your finances, Goddess. This is probably the best day you could ask for out of the whole month to deal with these problems. If you want to come out of this situation as a winner, it may be necessary to approach things from a different angle than you usually would. But rest assured! Things will probably work out just fine!”

Mental Map

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

(insert blog entry here)

And yep this photo pretty much looks like the inside of my brain right now. …

Christmas Tree vs. Palm Tree

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

So, it’s Christmas here in South Florida, not that you can tell by the weather.

There was a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on Thursday. (This town is so small, there isn’t even a Web site for it.)

And there I was, in a T-shirt and flip-flops, eating Rita’s Italian Ice on that 85-degree night.

Now, see, in the north, Rita’s closes around the time you have to stop wearing white shoes for the winter. (Except “Winter White” shoes. Those are fine all year ’round. And that statement just made my head spin.)

Anyway, I took a lot of better shots of this 100-foot tree, but I wanted to share this pic of it next to a same-size palm tree. That to me represents the dichotomy of Christmas 2009 in my world.

I don’t have any big plans for Christmas. I did take my first days off of work (just two) and booked a very small trip to Disney World. I actually voluntarily wanted to take Mom to the Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party.

I figure, it’s the first time it’s HOT at Christmas for us, and she’s never seen Orlando. And I’m pretty low on cash so it’s pretty sad that my present to both of us is admission to Disney World for a night.

I’m hoping that, since the “vacation” falls after next payday, I can pick another park for us to visit. Disney Hollywood Studios has a “spectacle of dancing lights” that intrigues me.

I’m more of an Epcot/Universal Studios fan, but I’d rather see Christmas (and maybe even feel it) than drag Mom all over hell’s half-acre to see the places that I know and love.

And yes, this is all part of my “I’m going to live if it kills me” kick. I mean, how can I live just a few hours away from something I’ve always wanted to see, and not go to it?

I don’t have the opportunity to drive to Oglebay or the Gaithersburg Winter Lights Festival. But even though I loved those events, they are small potatoes next to what I can experience this year.

And even though I have my issues with my mother, and always will, it’s nice to be able to show her a little bit of the world. And that’s perhaps the best gift I can give of all this Christmas.

Canopy Lights on Clematis Street

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

After a lot of soul-searching, I think I’ve decided to let Mom move back in with me.

I may change my mind with the next paycheck, as I’ve finally caught up with my moving-related expenses from this summer. *sigh* But since she’s up here all the time anyway, and because — let’s face it — she’s never going to get a damn job or do anything to help herself, I might as well just accept the inevitable and use her rent as my travel budget.

It kills me. I LOVE living alone. I HATE the thought of probably having to move into my smaller bedroom because it has a bathroom with a shower and she refuses to take showers. I HATE the idea of not being able to kick her out when I’ve had enough.

This is one of those times in which you’re supposed to rely on your faith … that God will do the impossible, if you do the possible. Ain’t nobody around here even bothering with the possible or even the probable, so why do I have to suffer financially in the interim?

I’m sure I’ll kick her out again. Hopefully into some full-service retirement home that costs half as much as her little beachfront studio. The problem I always had with her is that she never left the house. Ever. Which is why I never went home. It’s nice to want to come home again. I’ll miss it.

God, I appreciate the happy pills that make me not as angry as I used to be. Not to rush you on the miracle thing — because if it’s gonna be a miracle, I want it to be a good one — but now would be a great time for her to find a man with great insurance and a hefty retirement fund, so that I don’t have to give up my one shred of sanity just to put a couple of bucks into my pocket every month again. …