Caterwauling

I was just catching up on the metric buttload of blog entries I haven’t read in Bloglines, when this wonderful post by the amazing Amalah took me back to Rockville, Md., for one last spin around the block.

She was the reason I got my awesome job back in Rockville. Actually, she declared me overqualified for her open position, and forwarded my resume to the team that would embrace me with open arms and give me not just a job but an actual career, sense of purpose and, quite honestly, a solid-gold reputation that gets my foot into every door and gets me hired, sight unseen. (Although I think my charm and smarts have something to do with the offers I get. A little bit, anyway!)

Even more magically, the person she did hire to work with her is one of my best friends in the world. And did I mention that the gal she hired just moved down the street from me here in Florida?

It’s funny how the world works. Amazing how a chance meeting ON THE DAY I QUIT my job at the Veggie Patch turned into a job five months later … a career five YEARS later .. and not only gave me a lovely set of colleagues but also a FAMILY with whom I will be in touch (and, frankly, a little bit in love) forever?

When I was leaving Rockville on March 24 of last year, I was sick and sad and questioning every decision I was making. And when I got here and truly tried to be happy, everyone told me I wasn’t and that I should go back. The power of suggestion was, well, powerful. But it’s my family back there who made sure that I felt strong and loved enough to continue making the best life possible for myself.

I’d probably still be there today if I hadn’t made the impulse decision to load the cats into the car and drive 1,000 miles south. Or maybe I’d be somewhere else and heading this way soon enough. In any case, for all the doubts and stress and turmoil I’ve endured during the last 12 months, I’m finally seeing through clear eyes the person I was intended to be.

And I’m damn pleased to meet her.

While home may be where the heart is, you can have pieces of your heart all over the globe. And as I contemplate my next steps, Amy’s entry really reminded me of where I came from, of the people who have loved and supported and helped me to become the person and success that I am, and how those offices on Key West are the reason why I’m a three-hour drive from the REAL Key West.

I’m not running away anymore. Now it’s just a matter of choosing what I’m running toward … and knowing that, far from leaving anyone or anything behind, that I’m taking them with me wherever I go.

So, Amy, thank you for everything. And I do mean everything. …

“At night I drink myself to sleep and pretend
I don’t care that you’re not here with me
‘Cause it’s so much easier to handle
All my problems if I’m too far out to sea.”

— REM, “Don’t Go Back to Rockville”

Overseer

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

So I’m on “vacation” this week.

Anyone who’s gotten a peek at my Facebook page might know why, but suffice it to say that the suitors of which I spoke weren’t all necessarily of the dating variety, and I am happily contemplating their offers from my apartment overlooking the ocean.

I also just learned that my favorite apartment in this shithole in the sky has opened up. My friend has moved out and her apartment is amazing. I am thinking about asking the landlady to let me move in, but that means moving my stuff and also signing another lease in this godforsaken place. That is, if I even stay in the area, since my opportunities are as far-flung as the shreds of my sanity.

And I say all of this while swooning over a boy I met who doesn’t exactly live around here. Which is perfect. I decided to turn down his job offer since I’d no doubt be trying to hump his leg at every available opportunity.

But that’s not to say that I won’t marry him someday. In fact, I’m putting that on my “to do” list — marrying him, not humping his leg, of course! He can live there, he can visit me here, we can rent lovely hotel rooms on the beach and I can have my freedom. 😉

Things are finally, finally falling into place. I wish I could restart the clock and pretend that all the lost time in my life never happened. But as I said in the blog entry I linked, it’s what I take out of those yesterdays that gets me through today.

I’m not just on the cusp of happy. I AM happy.