OK, so I posted this little meme on Facebook, so apologies to those who know the Goddess’ secret identity and read the first version of this already.
While I do have plenty of original thoughts tonight, I’m going to go with re-sharing this thing here.
Some edits were made, naturally. 😉 And some points are better-explained, too.
10 Lessons From a Crazy Year
1. Your friends can and will help you if you let them.
I spent the last year in virtual silence, not wanting to let people know what was really going on. Calls went unreturned … e-mails went unanswered … I just didn’t have the energy for backstories and wondering just who I could trust.
But once I started confiding in my beloveds, not only did my friends continually keep my spirits up, but they threw me multiple lifelines.
Sure, it was what I did once I was back in the land of the living that made all the difference, but I wouldn’t have GOTTEN there without some amazing people who did more to restore me than the world did to eat away at me.
2. More of an addition to No. 1 than a separate lesson: Nothing in your life is acquired solely on your own.
Good people are willing to help you along your journey. The best people don’t accept a payback but do request a “pay it forward.”
We may not achieve world peace, but we’ll make a damn good start.
3. I don’t have to live in a city to be happy.
I’d rather live by the beach and visit a city when I need a cultural fix. Staring at water every day is more cathartic than finding a restaurant that’s open after 8 p.m.
I don’t think SoFla is my ultimate home. That’s partially why I took a job in another town, one to which I can gravitate. It’s not a big, bustling city but it doesn’t have a beach, either. So, I’m taking my time.
But that’s OK — I’m the one calling the shots now. As it should have always been, and as it always WILL be, going forward.
4. Wearing flip-flops and jeans to work is not just a privilege; it should be a right.
I save a half-hour in the mornings where I’m not going through three pairs of pantyhose to find one with the least-conspicuous runs. High heels should only be worn during nights on the town!
5. People will treat you unfairly in life.
It happens. They will not change. Only your level of tolerance can shift.
And before you know it, you’re letting people use your hair to wipe their ass.
Don’t make fun of cultists if you feel too beaten-down to leave a job or relationship that isn’t making you healthier.
6. It’s OK to devote yourself to your career, but…
It’s wonderful to carve your niche into this world. I’ve created a specialized skill set that I am very fortunate to be able to showcase.
But damn it, I’ve busted my butt for a long time — exactly when do you put on the brakes and let yourself enjoy life?
Is it really possible to have it all? Because, while I’m so very happy right now, I want the things I’ve missed out on, too.
This is clearly a lesson I’m still working on. 🙂 Suggestions welcome!
7. Know your priorities, and accept the consequences/reap the rewards.
I got this from a Patrick Lencioni book: It’s OK to allow yourself to watch TV for an hour or two every night … just as long as you acknowledge that this is a priority for you and that it is taking the place of something else that could be enriching your life.
I love my TV time but what if I were out exercising or calling a friend or meeting the person I’m going to marry?
8. There are some very sick individuals out there. Run like hell when you encounter them!
Got this from an old Poe song: “You can’t talk to a psycho like a normal human being.” Or as Ron White says, “You can’t fix stupid.” And in my experience, you can die trying.
Some people are just bound to self-destruct. Especially as a woman, I try to “save” people. And can I lose myself in the process.
Moral to the story: You’re not the one who’s nuts/inadequate/insufferable, no matter how hard someone works to convince you otherwise. It’s called projection. Or mirroring. Or schizophrenia. Run away while they are fighting with their various selves.
An abusive relationship is an abusive relationship, even if no one lays an actual finger on you. Show them YOUR finger of choice on your way out the door.
9. Sometimes, life just sucks. Deal with it.
Got this from my wonderful friend who originated the idea of this “10 lessons” post: “Not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes things just happen.”
Shit happens. But so do good things. Which would you rather focus on, and attract more of?
10. It’s OK to lose your shit sometimes. It’s kinda empowering.
Scream, punch, cry, beat up a pillow, sleep with inappropriate people, have a bottle of wine for dinner, tell that crush just why they are stupid not to be in love with you, tell people exactly why they’ve driven you to distraction. You can’t be perfect every minute of every day.
Get (insert emotion) out of your system or it will start affecting your insides. There’s a reason you get (a paltry) three days’ bereavement leave when someone close to you dies — you HAVE to deal with it and not let it eat away at you over time.
We should be able to take funeral leave when we lose a pet, a relationship, or get into a fight with a friend because it’s too easy to shelve the situation and immerse ourselves in work.
Once you fully deal with whatever it is, leave it there and do whatever it takes to never, ever feel that way again.