Talked to one of my favorite people tonight (not pictured) from one of my favorite spots on earth (pictured).
I had a couple of odd moments when two kids, about ages 4 and 3, approached me to talk. I was on the phone but I did chat with them. The little girl, the younger of the two (the boy was older — he came over to me first with a ball he was playing with), asked me for a hug. She told me all about her friend and her brother.
I mused to my friend how I have a force field around me when it comes to kids. That my boys marvel that I made it to 36 without having any of my own. And my friend said kids can sense “big kids” and they can pick someone out of a crowd who has no interest in kids.
And damn it, they were cute.
And it wasn’t lost on me that, just 10 minutes earlier, my friend was saying how he thinks kids are in his future. I, of course, was all “fuck that” for me.
OK, universe. Not sure what THAT was all about!
In any case, I don’t know what to say right now about, well, much of anything. So I will say nothing. And pray that all’s well that ends well, or some shit like that.
I escape into my mind a lot more than usual. I guess that’s good. I used to immerse myself in work. That doesn’t happen much anymore. In fact, I almost got the stirrings of a solution for a “problem” I created awhile back for one of my book characters.
I didn’t write it down. But that’s OK. That I even thought about my long-since-abandoned book series was enough of a breakthrough for me.
I may not be closer to making a living as a novelist, but with the novelty wearing off of other areas of my life, it’s good to know that my creativity hasn’t committed suicide entirely.
I’m tired. And the one part of my life that never goes well seems to be the only thing giving me hope.
Hell, I’ll take it any way I can get it. And I’ll enjoy the change of pace. I’ve never been one to turn down a new experience!