Bertha Roberts’ epitaph would be fitting on my own life. I made the mistake of revisiting the Ghost of Caterwauling Past. Many of the old entries are out of order, but the raw emotion is ripping my heart to shreds. Sick AND tired, I was … and remain.
The marathon-dating of years past doesn’t bother me. I’m rather proud that I seemed to have a new guy every two weeks. Go, me. 😉 But the hostile workplace I described, while never replicated to the exact detail, has cropped up again and again.
And I am so proud of myself for never believing what others said about me. Sure, I wonder why I fail to thrive in most environments. But it’s never for lack of trying. In fact, in every instance of “failure,” my heart had been stomped out of my chest cavity long before I hit the bricks.
I see the same complaints from back then cropping up now. And I consider the sources.
Rather than analyze and agonize to death, I’ll just say that I’m a square peg who keeps trying to shove her pudgy pork roast ass into round holes where it doesn’t belong.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my next career move. Sure, it’s contingent upon getting an offer. But while my former pastor is continually beating it into my head that I need to find “faith friends,” I finally said I have those … all over the world. It’s faith EMPLOYERS I need a better selection of.
I worked for a miserable pack of atheists for a brief time. And most of my paycheck-signers would have a roof collapse on them if they dared to enter a house of worship. In fact, the people who are helping me now are fellow God followers.
Sure, I am not the holiest of thou and will never claim to be. But there is something to be said for people who fear God and respect their fellow man. I mean, the real Christians. Not the hypocrites. We all know they are out there. 🙂
No, I’m talking about the faithful. Those who see the bigger picture. Those who don’t gossip behind everyone’s back and insult them to their faces. Those who WANT their employees to succeed … to not be threatened by their talents or their connections but rather to tap into their employees’ potential.
I have NEVER been threatened by an employee. And I have made it my practice to hire people smarter than me. You know why? Because I have a LOT to teach them. And I want them to come up to my level … so that I can go to my next one.
Of course, there’s always the risk (and reality) of hiring your replacement at half the price. Ask me how I like them apples.
But sour grapes aren’t in my fruit bowl. Because imagine the combined power of the willing to learn with the willing to TEACH.
Brian Houston at Hillsong Church in Australia had a GREAT quote that I can’t let go of: “Leader’s goal: Teach people how to COLLIDE with their purpose, rather than FALL on their feet, or CRASH in their failure!”
In other words, instead of setting people up for failure, leverage their strengths. Here’s the wonderful thing about ideas — there are always new ones. Why not get fresh blood into your circle, teach them all you know, and let them help you to attack the problems you’re charged with solving with their fresh eyes?
It works both ways, whether up the food chain or down. And it’s hard to be the one in the middle with dramatically different relationships in both directions.
I’m not saying everyone’s worth saving. They’re not. Sometimes you do have to part ways. But everyone deserves a fighting chance … NOT a fight every day of their lives.
Anyway, I say all of this to say that in my next boss (and it may just be myself), I want a man or woman of faith. Fuck it — a man of faith. My track record sucks with women anyway. And if I’m my own boss, I KNOW I’m in for a real bitch. 🙂
I don’t have to sit in the pew next to my future supervisor. But to have full faith and confidence that those I’m working so hard to support have MY back too (and not a bullseye, “Kick me” sign or a switchblade on it or in it) would be a genuine gift from God.
