Caterwauling

Prince Needed

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

Well, thanks to being up half the night, I missed most of the royal wedding. For somebody who is under-employed, I sure am awfully busy at the least-convenient times!

I cried when I read via US Weekly’s iPad app that the last time Elton John was in Westminster Abbey, he was watching the young princes following behind their mother’s coffin. And how joyous it is to see them at the altar, celebrating a new beginning. How glorious it is to see them come full-circle.

Damn it. *sniffle*

I keep getting texts from CNBC — economic growth down! Inflation up! ExxonMobil beats earnings estimates! Consumer sentiment is up right now but you know it’s going to be revised downward on Monday like it always is!

*yawn* Same old shit. Different day.

And I ask the universe, where is my prince who asks me to quit my stupid little job so I can plan my wedding full-time? Lord knows I’d pick a better dress than Kate did.

And how on earth did she get away with doing her own hair/makeup when she supposedly had six hairdressers on site? She was cute, but not princess-like. I wanted her to show us some bling and sparkle and pizzaz.

In any case, I hope I can get out of the house well in advance of my 7:30 to 11 shift at my favorite local event so I can actually enjoy it.

I know Kate’s — er, Catherine’s — life as a princess-and-now-duchess is anything but easy. And I rebel against pomp and circumstance and rules and expectation like the best of them. But if I’m going to do something that, in the end, really doesn’t matter, I’d like to have access to a palace and haute couture. Is that really so much to hope for, for me?

Going swimming!

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

I’m sure I’ve told you about one of those people in my life who’s a zit on top of a boil that sits atop a hemorrhoid. (And I’m sure you’re like, you’ve got a TON woman. Which one?)

Anyway, I was left alone for a couple of grand days. But I have about 40 emails (I kid you not) that are keeping me up right now. The coverage of the royal wedding starts in three hours — I’m horrified to say I will still be awake at 4 a.m. to see it! (And I have to be at my volunteer gig at 7:30 p.m. Whee!)

The thing is, the position itself isn’t a fit, long-term. It’s easy and I tend to not treat it as life-or-death. It’s the skill level that I bring to it that makes it a no-brainer for me. Which, it’s nice to have a few lay-ups to counterbalance the harder work.

This is vaguely reminiscent of my Graceland days, of how the stuff I was the only one prepared/skilled/savvy enough to do was what got criticized most by those who had no friggin’ clue.

Although, I don’t miss their vitriol-filled e-mails about what a horrible person I was and that was a fate only punishable by insults and death. This is WAY better in comparison, although I miss that lovely paycheck that came with the cutting words.

These days, the cutting words are baked inside over-the-top compliments about dumb shit. You did a GREAT job spelling things right! Super! Everybody applaud! Now if this project isn’t done by 8 a.m. tomorrow I want answers and you’d better have them. Don’t we work GREAT together?!?!

I start off each week with so much enthusiasm. Like, I can write my own TICKET here if I play nice. Yet by this point, I’m deflated. Like, OF COURSE I’m capable. But one of these times you’re going to make me so flippin’ mad that I’m going to change my phone number, my e-mail and my Skype. And my identity, for good measure.

So, I’m hiring an intern. 🙂 Any takers for free work? lol. I get to do what I love, which is lead, and I can blame somebody else for everything. It’s perfect!