So, I went to church last night after, oh, six months or so. I needed it, although the post-church zen officially wore off within 20 minutes. 😉
I go to one of those megachurch-type places like Joel Osteen preaches from. In fact, in my church’s TV commercials (!), we have Joel Osteen personally endorsing us. It’s rather hilarious because our pastors bash him (indirectly, of course) and you can feel the tension between Joel and our guy in that miserable 15 seconds that they appear on-air together.
I go to an offshoot of the megachurch. Same brand, different pastor. He’s usually the reason why I come and go. He’s either fantastic or grubbing for money. Luckily, yesterday he was in a good mood. 🙂 He was just pleased that we braved the TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR to come out last night.
Every once in a while, the pastor gets on a kick about sacrificial giving. Which is kind of bullshit at my campus, because it caters to students and young professionals. The other branches of the megachurch attract the mega MILLIONS that keeps my little branch afloat.
Anyway, although we spent the bulk of our time reviewing Psalm 23 and how us bad little sheep are God’s personal favorites, the pastor did throw in a mention about sacrificial giving.
And the revelation I took home from services was that God is a Democrat!
Think about it — for some reason, everyone scoffs at the wealthy folk who donate a chunk of money. But nobody cares because it doesn’t cause any hardship. (Um, hello, who do you think is funding your international mission trips??!!)
But we all love the woman who gave her last two coins because she gave everything she had.
Well, I gave up covered parking during a tropical storm so I could park for free (blocks away!) and donate the exorbitant parking garage fee to the offering. Does that count? 😉
Anyway, my takeaway from all this is the sacrifice part. Because sometimes I feel like I’ve made more than my share for a very simple life without a whole lot of room to give up EVEN MORE.
But instead of focusing on what I don’t have — or no longer have — I’m going to do what the pastor said and leave the door open for miracles. Instead of begrudging my newfound inability to work my ass off, realize that it’s a commandment to take time to relax and commune with God. And accept that something good will come when I make room to receive it.
I will always worry, of course, about everything. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it.
I took on a rent commensurate with the salary I once commanded. So that makes me nuts. But I also don’t have a car payment, so that helps. And not having colleagues means no more meals, birthdays, showers and buying shit from their kids, so that is a benefit I never dreamed I’d enjoy so much. 🙂 Well, I DO miss the nice people because I loved them. But it did hurt to spend money on someone’s Christmas gift only to be fired the DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS.
Ahem.
Life ain’t all bad. In fact, it’s kind of awesome when I allow myself to go out and live it. I just need to do more of that. Of course, don’t we all?